Having recently been inspired by Victorian Era showmanship, I've commenced on a journey to become the World's Greatest Glutton. I am developing a digestive system unlike any other known to man. Just this weekend, I managed to chow my way through a Holden Barina, not much I know, but I hav eto work my way up to the muscle cars. Kim is filming the exploits and we hope to sell the accompanying reality tv show to Channel 10. They show anything right? Or do I have to nude it up some first? Hmm, have to think on that.
Anyway, as my Rock God Extraordinaire alterego "Bradley: Radio Controlled" I have composed the theme song, which I just finished recording, just the minute before I jumped on this computer and uploaded it.
Like all Bradley: Radio Controlled songs, it is a Ritalin inducing 3 minutes of Pop Glam Psychadelecto Acid Rave. I could give you a existentialist interpretation of what it means, but really, its about getting wasted.
Really just listen to, its kinda fucked up.
yours forever,
Bradley: Radio Controlled
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Uncle Rico: Kip I reckon, you know a lot about, cyberspace? You ever come across anything like time travel?
Kip: Easy, I've already looked into it for myself.
Uncle Rico: Right on, right on.
It has to be said that throughout history, time is one thing that completely screws people over. From HG Wells "the Time Traveller", to Doc Brown & Marty McFly, to Donnie Darko and the aforementioned Uncle Rico, people get so screwed up lavishing over the possibility of time travel. Or they just simply fuck up the universe because of all those damn time travel rules, kinda like Homer and his toaster.
Anyway, all that shit is why Nature made time go in one direction and one direction only. There are some serious fucking consequences to messing around with a time that isn't precisely now.
Which makes me wonder. If so many physicists, mathematicians and scientists are all about discovering the orders and patterns of the world, then why do so many try so hard to prove that you can travel through time? I blame Einstein, his theory of general relativity says (succinctly) says that if you can travel faster than light, you would be traveling forward in time and be in the future. However, his theory also says that nothing is faster than the speed of light.
All of a sudden, you get these weird ass physicists trying to prove that time travel is possible, all so they can travel back in time to high school, play their cards right, and end up nailing the hottest girl in highschool instead of hanging out with the freaky science teacher.
Take for example, Kurt Godel, incidentally one of Einstein's good friends. Now he isn't that well known, but he did one thing that no one else could. He pissed Albert off royally by making him doubt his own theory.
To start off with, Godel spent two years trying to prove that there were ways to travel faster than the speed of light. When he came to the realisation that light is the quickest thing, he went completely bonkers. That is when he came up with the idea of "rotating universes" which of course allows you to have a wormhole through space to the time on the other side.
While all this sounds nuts and impossible, he actually managed to prove several of the paradoxes in the Theory of Relativity. That's what ticked Einstein off in his twilight years. Of course Godel was also so paranoid about being poioned that he refused to eat any food unless his wife ate it first. He died of starvation when his wife was in hospital and couldn't eat.
Anyway whats the point of all this? Well Science always seems to follow Science Fiction. In which case humanity will be time traveling, maybe real soon. However, time travel, even through a wormhole is gonna need some damn hellish technology, and if there is one thing that Science Fiction teaches, its this:
COMPUTERS AND MACHINES ALWAYS TURN ON THEIR HUMAN MASTERS.
They will kill us, or leave us with the saber tooths, Neanderthals and Cro Magnons, and leave us without a Delorian to escape in. And don't give me none of this shit
about being smarter that a Neanderthal, so you could beat him. Hell, Neanderthals have been shown to be smarter than your average footballer and you can't kick his arse can ya?
Our only protection against these filthy, filthy dirty ingrate machines?
Dirty big moog synthesizers.
They can't stand em. Hearing a sleazy moog fries their circuits and renders them incapable of hatred to humans.
True.
So, with the help of brilliant (but completely sane) Mr Ian Reeve, I wrote a song that uses a dirty big moog synthesizer. The song is just saturated with it. Its called "Computer Says Fuck You".
Its cool. I like it, and in 15 years, the world can thank Ian and me for saving its lazy ass.
Anyway kids, you take it easy,
Bradley
Oh yeah, Happy Valentines Day,
You know I love you all.
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Bradley Radio Controlled / Blog
I Eat Cars
Having recently been inspired by Victorian Era showmanship, I've commenced on a journey to become the World's Greatest Glutton. I am developing a digestive system unlike any other known to man. Just this weekend, I managed to chow my way through a Holden Barina, not much I know, but I hav eto work my way up to the muscle cars. Kim is filming the exploits and we hope to sell the accompanying reality tv show to Channel 10. They show anything right? Or do I have to nude it up some first? Hmm, have to think on that. Anyway, as my Rock God Extraordinaire alterego "Bradley: Radio Controlled" I have composed the theme song, which I just finished recording, just the minute before I jumped on this computer and uploaded it. Like all Bradley: Radio Controlled songs, it is a Ritalin inducing 3 minutes of Pop Glam Psychadelecto Acid Rave. I could give you a existentialist interpretation of what it means, but really, its about getting wasted. Really just listen to, its kinda fucked up. yours forever, Bradley: Radio Controlled
Reply
Time is immutable, Robots will fight mankind, & only a Moog can save the day
Uncle Rico: Kip I reckon, you know a lot about, cyberspace? You ever come across anything like time travel? Kip: Easy, I've already looked into it for myself. Uncle Rico: Right on, right on. It has to be said that throughout history, time is one thing that completely screws people over. From HG Wells "the Time Traveller", to Doc Brown & Marty McFly, to Donnie Darko and the aforementioned Uncle Rico, people get so screwed up lavishing over the possibility of time travel. Or they just simply fuck up the universe because of all those damn time travel rules, kinda like Homer and his toaster. Anyway, all that shit is why Nature made time go in one direction and one direction only. There are some serious fucking consequences to messing around with a time that isn't precisely now. Which makes me wonder. If so many physicists, mathematicians and scientists are all about discovering the orders and patterns of the world, then why do so many try so hard to prove that you can travel through time? I blame Einstein, his theory of general relativity says (succinctly) says that if you can travel faster than light, you would be traveling forward in time and be in the future. However, his theory also says that nothing is faster than the speed of light. All of a sudden, you get these weird ass physicists trying to prove that time travel is possible, all so they can travel back in time to high school, play their cards right, and end up nailing the hottest girl in highschool instead of hanging out with the freaky science teacher. Take for example, Kurt Godel, incidentally one of Einstein's good friends. Now he isn't that well known, but he did one thing that no one else could. He pissed Albert off royally by making him doubt his own theory. To start off with, Godel spent two years trying to prove that there were ways to travel faster than the speed of light. When he came to the realisation that light is the quickest thing, he went completely bonkers. That is when he came up with the idea of "rotating universes" which of course allows you to have a wormhole through space to the time on the other side. While all this sounds nuts and impossible, he actually managed to prove several of the paradoxes in the Theory of Relativity. That's what ticked Einstein off in his twilight years. Of course Godel was also so paranoid about being poioned that he refused to eat any food unless his wife ate it first. He died of starvation when his wife was in hospital and couldn't eat. Anyway whats the point of all this? Well Science always seems to follow Science Fiction. In which case humanity will be time traveling, maybe real soon. However, time travel, even through a wormhole is gonna need some damn hellish technology, and if there is one thing that Science Fiction teaches, its this: COMPUTERS AND MACHINES ALWAYS TURN ON THEIR HUMAN MASTERS. They will kill us, or leave us with the saber tooths, Neanderthals and Cro Magnons, and leave us without a Delorian to escape in. And don't give me none of this shit about being smarter that a Neanderthal, so you could beat him. Hell, Neanderthals have been shown to be smarter than your average footballer and you can't kick his arse can ya? Our only protection against these filthy, filthy dirty ingrate machines? Dirty big moog synthesizers. They can't stand em. Hearing a sleazy moog fries their circuits and renders them incapable of hatred to humans. True. So, with the help of brilliant (but completely sane) Mr Ian Reeve, I wrote a song that uses a dirty big moog synthesizer. The song is just saturated with it. Its called "Computer Says Fuck You". Its cool. I like it, and in 15 years, the world can thank Ian and me for saving its lazy ass. Anyway kids, you take it easy, Bradley Oh yeah, Happy Valentines Day, You know I love you all.
Reply