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TOAD / Blog

Random Conversations

At some point in the conversation I was comfortable enough to ask her if the "carpet matched the drapes." Without hesitation she answered "Nope, I'm all bare throughout. Way easier to wipe up accidental spills." KEEPER!

TOAD sez

Never let a healthy bowel movement come between you and a good time.

DYK?

Did you know that every time you masturbate God kills a Twilight fan? At this rate I believe I have wiped out the entire population of Wibaux, Montana.

Documentaries

How come producers continue to make documentaries on subjects like, let's say, the 60's. Did something new happen since the last one was made in '07?

Watch Him As He Goes

Dr. Kegel was a GENIUS. Just saying.

The Sequel

I am forming an idea for a sequel to the song "Red Wings" called "Crotch Cannibal." Vegans need not apply.

Curing Terrorism

The cure for radical terrorism is GETTING LAID. You'd be hard pressed to find one that regularly busts a nut.

Going To A Whore House

You can find out a lot about yer friends when you visit a whore house. For instance, I ordered a Lewinsky and my friend asked for a Sandusky.

Black Friday

I'm doing my part during Black Friday by purchasing only locally sourced drugs and hookers.

TOAD sez

TOAD sez: Sobriety is overrated.