“It seems like ages since El Schlong released their groundbreaking album The Baddies Are Coming in 2008. The band described that release as “like Satan in the bath puzzled by the ginger pube on the soap.” Despite their quirkiness El Schlong is a band you should take very seriously. Their latest release entitled Time/Place is a veritable smorgasbord of audible delights, which I suggest you indulge in immediately. Thankfully Time/Place is a continuance of everything good about the bands previous releases, and then some. The sheer scope of the album buries the listener in a tomb of unequivocal musical bliss and must be experienced to be believed. EL Schlong’s preceding moments of awkwardness have been replaced by confident and proficient musicianship, darker and heavier than ever before................ ”

“Brilliant because they are so unique. There is no band quite like El Schlong. I kinda forget just how good they are between CDs. Note to self, these guys rate! The new release was captivating right from the first song. Never would I have thought I would find an opening track called "With Trousers On" worthy, but it was cooool. So many well executed sound experiments, great poetic lyrics, and a fearless sound which doesn't attempt to conform to any genre make this a stand out. Highly recommended rainy night listening! One I will come back to; knocked my socks off. 4/5”

“Time/Place is a complicated hybrid of mathcore, punk and progressive metal. There's a raw authenticity about their sound that many signed bands spend so much time and effort unsuccesfully trying to reproduce. Opening track With Trousers On feels like a pretty run of the mill metal chugger that suddenly descends into clean vocals, clean guitar, and all round calming ambience. Obviously this doesn't last and the mellow vibe is soon joined by a slice of distortion and double kick mayhem. The most endearing quality of Time/Place is you don't know what direction El Schlong will take next. There's the thoroughly chilled 2.5 Dalis, which blends into the thrashing-yet-trumpet-laden Number 42, followed by the epic album closer Moving On, and this lack of predictablity makes it a thoroughly engaging listen. El Schlong are a fantastically insane band. I would strongly recommend fans of the obscure investigate further.”

“Kiwi metal troubadours release a superb second album - 8/10 Prog-rock-metal trio El Schlong recently explained to me that they are on the world's slowest world tour. The three-piece, who originally hail from New Zealand, spent two years in London before moving to Berlin in 2010; they plan to spend the same amount of time there before heading for New York. When you think about it, it's a very interesting idea; they can spend the time to really get to grips with the local scene, make a load of friends and when they move on, they can easily go back to play some more, or invite bands over who otherwise might not get a chance to play in another country. The location of their current base is not the only way in which El Schlong demonstrate an admirably lateral and intelligent perspective..........”

“A breath of fresh air from UK. There haven't been many of these in my mailbox this year. This relatively new power trio is indeed the dog's bollocks. They are all over the musical map yet end with a distinctly original band identity in the 54 odd minutes of this debut……… There are heavy near thrash/death moments as well as swirly , hypnotic quality to some of the riffs, which is only further pushed into narcotic land by the harmonies. The best bit is the way band achieves quiet/loud dynamics while keeping the atmosphere consistently dark. Honestly I was unable to throw out any sounds-like comparisons, and was handicapped as a reviewer. Despite the unclassifiable quality of this metal treat, it spins daily in my commute vehicle. ”

“8 fairly long tracks comprise this really rather fine album, laden with toughness, for the most part lighter on the vocals than many other metallers out there. Huge sound from this Wellington-based Dunedin-raised 3 piece, cranking out some tidy and oft delicate tunes. Thrashy in places, insightful and constantly surprising, well-constructed metal. Excellent space-out or background music, I’ve listened to this album over and over quite a few times now, and every time I get something different out of it, like it’s brand new every single time. And now I can’t get Arthur out of my head.”

“Formed in Dunedin back in 2003 then relocated to Wellington EL SCHLONG has become a household name on the New Zealand Metal scene. The band has just relocated again, this time all the way over to London, UK but I was lucky enough to catch them performing back here in Aoteroa on their last tour. It was an awesome gig and I was blown away by the heavyness, musical complexity and vairiation this three-piece band has to offer. And they’ve really managed to translate that same vibe onto their debut album ‘The Baddies Are Coming’. There’s a lot going on with EL SCHLONG’s music on this release and because of that it’s hard to place a genre on this band, I’m pretty sure they dont want me to do that anyway! But hey, it’s most definitely Metal to keep it simple, although you’ll also be hearing instrumental sections like piano and trumpet which break up the heavy stuff every now and then.”

“There are many impressions one might get on a cursory listen to El Schlong's self-released debut, The Baddies are Coming, and most of them would be glaringly wrong, as I?m sure most of the impressions stated in this review will be. Hopefully, under the casual assumption that at some point they see it, they?ll at least get a good laugh. "Ha ha ha, he said we sound like Death!" and so forth.”