Press:

“New CD from Mr. Card to be released this summer. : The Wietz Album will feature some covers from Mr. Card's favorite artist.”
Hugo First - Mr. Card Press

“Mr. Card totally crapping his pants as The Kanes and Schizopolitans breathe down his fat little kneck in the Alternative Reno ReverbNation charts.”
Roman Fingers - Mr. Card Press

“'Pissjitters' declaredMr. Card's watch word for 2011. Beats out wolf bitch for top phrase.”
Loius Crabb - Mr. Card Press

“Mr. Card goes back in time to 1976 to remember what it was like to wear 501's with no underwear.”
Hugo First - Mr. Card Press

“DATELINE, SPARKS, NV - Wife of Mr. Card, Mama Card, puts end to Wednesday date night festivities over alleged and inexplicable cries of 'ham and turkey club on wheat!' from Mr. Card during a an alleged recent passionate interlude.”
Hugo First - Mr. Card Press

“DATELINE, BOSTON-- Mr. Card and researchers at MIT conclude wood chucks chuck x(w*1.45) amount of wood if, and only if wood chucks could chuck wood. The Wood Chuck Chuck Defense League leadership hail findings as 'a new mother-chucking era for wood chucking wood chucks'.”
S. Hoell - Mr. Card Press

“Mr. Card tips over Reverb Nation with flood of songs, much like the huge rack of dinosaur ribs tips over Fred Flintstone's car at the drive-through. RN may seek action to halt uploads, citing 'your content is not necessarily king'.”
Hugo First - Mr. Card Press

“DATELINE-KENTUCKY--Mr. Card put down after shattering ankle in finish line fall at the Desk Jockey Derby.”
S. Hoell - Mr. Card Press

“DATELINE-WASHINGTON D.C.--State Department urges Mr. Card to leave country and renounce citizenship over taco consumption tariff dispute.”
Jim Baliah - Mr. Card Press

“DATELINE-SPARKS, NV--It's Official. Mr. Card is kind of lazy, but generally a nice guy.”
Hugo First - Mr. Card Press

“DATELINE SPARKS, NV -- Mr. Card Vows to Quit Smoking. Admits He Doesn't Know The Meaning of the Word 'Quit'”
S. Hoell - Mr. Card Press

“DATELINE-SPARKS, NV--Latest Mr. Card album, 'STOP THIEF' is delayed due to day job.”
Hugo First - Mr. Card Press

“Best Daddy of the Year award goes to Mr. Card and 2 Billion other guys. Honorable mentions went to Clyde Sommerville of Kentucky and 468,000,000 or so other guys.”
Bill Fold - Mr. Card Press

“Mr. Card received the Most Improved Player award for the Harbor City Recreational Park Baseball League as a player for the Cardinals (left field) in 1976, under his given name, Justin Pecot.”
Bill Fold - Mr. Card Press