“'Did you know?': That the Red Baron's greatest WWI victory was the infamous '4-Cheese Pizza with Rising Crust'?”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Jimmy Buffett, sat on a tuffet, eating cheeseburgers and shakes; Along came Dee Snyder, who sat down beside bird, and frightened Parrothead away.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Spacey like Kevin; angel's food cake, devil's food cake.. I DON'T CARE!! SHOVE THAT SHIT IN MY MOUTH!!”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“It's a good thing that I'm not a practicing Doctor, because I'd probably diagnose everyone as crazy and write them prescriptions for 'Ketchup' and to 'Shut the Hell Up'.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Happy Mother's Day to Mama Cassmark! Baby Jimmy needs some Gerber grub and his diaper changed! And where in the Hellmann's did you put my Speak & Spell?”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“If you'd really like to get me something for Mother's Day, then go right ahead and buy mama a new Casio SK-1 and an aardvark.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“The stripper nipples in Duke Nukem 3D have to be the most inaccurate portrayal of stripper nipples ever.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“You know, now that you mention it.. I am a lot like Val Venis!”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Just as Patience and Prudence, you're an Awesome Possum. Say hello to Six, if you're gonna be on Blossom.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Note to Self (and Everyone): Again, there's no need to remind any of the Marilyn Manson band members that they'd ruined 'Tainted Love'.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Sheetz, I known about Macklemore since he was known as Cracklewhore.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Mr. Men books, and hay Little Misses. If there's a pen, then there pen ises!”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Blue blazer bugaboo Booby's belly built by beer biscuits.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Duh, dude. Handy Andy and the Brawny Man are clearly brothers.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“'Cassmark Lyric Drop-shop': One in a bouillon, like watching Mulan, haven't seen her in years, our changes fierce. Stopped thinking, in strong inklings, curator cow love, peace of a dove.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“I can't sport a standalone moustache without beard because I end up looking in the mirror asking 'Why are you doing this to yourself?'”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“The Vlasic stork brought me a baby. A baby pickle. So I ate it. And then he ate me. The circle of life? Yep.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
"Sorry, buddy. I don't have a lighter. Here are some matches, though.. My ass, your face; my stache, your ass!" - Geraldo Rivera
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“It's the return of the cicadas. I'm thrilled about this. Try playing a guitar to a live cicada making sound. Speed-bending required.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“NEWS - Two Popes living at Vatican welcome third: Poperah Winfrey.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“When you are naked, you mean a lot to me. It's just that, well, then you are so smooth, baby. Curvy curvy move, nakey nakey shoova shoov.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“After I complete 'The 486SX EP' album, I'll be playing some promotional shows and working on another live DVD titled 'Jur-Cass-ic Mark'!”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
"Go away, hair cowlick! Harry Connick, Jr.!" - Jim of Cassmark
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Hopeful that Dorothy's ruby-red slippers from The Wizard of Oz are men's size 13-wide..”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“He'd call me Ish Kabibble, caught fish 5 times a day, we watched his magic black box; Per-View there was no Pay. He said he liked my music, and knew a guy that played, a WWII-time Navy pal, tomatoes never the same. ~ R.I.P. Grandpa Steve”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Everybody had a hard year, everybody had a good time, everybody had a wet dream, everybody saw Larry Fine. Oh yeah.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Through music and advertising, the California Raisins were created to promote healthy food. My question: Will there be an Almond Brothers Band in my lifetime?”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“I'd seen the original Scorpions 'Virgin Killer' album cover when I was a young child, so I didn't understand what the controversy was until I aged a bit.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Do all of the new census surveys ask if we're oliphant or elephant?”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“I'd watched GWAR's 'Phallus in Wonderland' for the first time in 2006. It was the first thing that'd really helped me get back on track.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Just finished a 7-day/150-mile bicycling session.. Without hesitation, the most spectacular moment of the journey was seeing a trio of llamas on a Wisconsin farm.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Don't slippy on a mickey. Don't slippy on a roofie. And, whateva u dew, do not slippy on a Mickey Rooney.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“If you're havin' mural problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems, but a kitsch ain't one.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Weezer had an autograph session at a local business when they were touring for their Green Album; Pat was kicking a soccer ball, Mikey looked like the portal to the '70s, Brian was chillin' and just what I'd imagined, and Rivers seemed tired. So tired..”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“'Ice Cream of the Future' was first tried by yours truly in 1998. In actuality, my first taste from back then was produced at the Dippin' Dots plant today!”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“When I am greeted with 'Namaste', I smile and reply 'I'm nastay'..”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and watching scrambled 'Spice'? Ohhh.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Larry, Larry Fine contrary, how does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockle shells and Curly, Shemp, and Moe.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Me thinks that I'm accurately remembering that the guy who voiced the Dad Stu in 'Rugrats' was also a main voice in a handful of 'Country Crock' commercials.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“I want to spread like an eagle, to the sea, spread like an eagle, let my pier it carry me, I want to spread..”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Gordon Lightfoot would have also been a great boxing name. Almost Butterbean status.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Many people are surprised when I tell them that 'Cassmark in Cuba' only took $100,000 to budget; half for props & travel expenditures, half for profit.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
"Burrito, burrito on the wall, who is the nommies of them all?" - Gallagher
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Someday Jay-Z you'll accomp'ny me, out where the Nate Dogg met the Warren G.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
"I thought you said to rub a 'penis-sized' amount of ointment on my chest, but now I know that you said 'pea-sized'." - Jim of Cassmark
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
"Kiss my Cass, yo suck my kiss, Jim's got the sass, given the abyss." - Anthony Kiedis
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“When I was 7 years old, I'd penned my first lyrics. The first line was 'My honey bee kisses me on the lips'.. I was listening to a lot of Aerosmith at the time.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Awwwww snap! I enjoy that Sarah McLachlan song, 'Building a Mr. T'!”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“Cassmark's Top Celeb Fans: 1) Geraldo Rivera 2) Louie Anderson 3) Wesley Snipes”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
“The last manager that told me not to post one of my quips was beheaded and fed to my cat.”
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The Cassmark Cassifieds & Sarcasties
:
Sometimes when I pee, I think of David Lee, Roth up in a broth, climbing on a pea..
Comments
dude... you've got the best pressbox on this site!
Cool tracks!
Thanks for following. Keep on rocking.
Rockin tracks! Love "Pyrosa!" xo P.s new acoustic youtube vid here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4RQbC7ie4Q
Nice work!Keep it up!
ROCK ON!! Cassmark ruleZ!! excellent music amigo.Keep the good work.All the best from Spain!!