My name is Billy Sugarfix. I live on top of the highest mountain in Carrboro, NC. From the tower of my castle, I can see three planets as yet undiscovered by mainstream scientists. On extrememly calm nights when the moon is in a gibbous phase, I can pick up signals from these distant spheres. The first one tells me to write and perform pop songs with pretty melodies, the second planet tells me to write silly songs and use nothing but a chipmunk voice to sing with, the third planet tells me to...