The Thousand Eyes

Rock • Fayetteville, 28306, US

Videos

About the Artist

The band was formed when Elijah P. and J. Hero had a coin toss over who would be the bandleader and vocalist. The loser had to play bass. Elijah P. lost. Having decided on the leader, J. Hero and Elijah P. sought out a guitarist whose guitar skills were far exceeded by his ego. That's when they found Warren Love, the most narcissistic guitarist in the world. Needing a drummer, the trio went searching the streets for the first homeless man they could find, handed him a pair of drumsticks and said "Welcome to the band". The homeless man, Van Nelli, proved to be even more musically talented than the other three, despite having less than an hour's worth of experience with the drumsticks, and only an old garbage can to drum on. The classic lineup of the Thousand Eyes was now complete. Once the band was complete, Warren Love declared himself the new leader of the band and convinced Elijah P. and Van Nelli that they no longer needed J. Hero, and unanimously voted him out of the band. A day later, the band was served with a court injunction barring them from using the name The Thousand Eyes, playing any of their instruments, or even using their own names, as unbeknownst to them, J. Hero had registered every letter of the alphabet with the U.S. Trademark office exclusively in his name. He then returned to the band, promptly fired the other three members, and hired them back on contracts in which they were required to work for a penny a year, and in which they were required to donate the penny to charity. Angry, the band decided to file suit against J. Hero, but found they couldn't because they had to pay J. Hero a licensing fee of $1000.00 for every letter of the alphabet they used in their court filings. Jaded and disappointed, the other three members decided to remain in J. Hero's employ until they could find a way to get him to sign over his rights to the alphabet so that they could sue him to get out of their contracts, or at least choose which charity they could donate the penny to. The power struggle amongst the members remains until this day. This is, of course, an entirely fictional account designed to distract from the fact that as of this point, J. Hero is the only past or present member of The Thousand Eyes.

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