Jd Wheels / Blog

Top Ten list for 2011

JD's Top 10 of 2011

Here is my list for the best in 2011. Some were a big surprise while others tended to be not... but in all it was a great year for metal. Check them out and see for yourself.

1. Wild Starr - Arrival 2. Transcending Bizarre - The Misandthrops Fable 3. Northern Oak - Monuments 4. Requiem Eternam - Visions of Eternity 5. Untimely Demise - City Of Steel 6. Argus - Boldly Strides the Doom 7. Malpurtuus - Doodbringer 8. Unleash The Archers - Demons Of the Astrowaste 9. Hymir - Nyctophobia 10. Abigail Williams - In The Absence Of Light

Saskaton metal rocks

The Metal God’s are smiling with my picks I have for you.

Starting off with a blast of pure metal, is Thrash metal masters known as Chainfire.

Hailing from the small city of Saskatoon, Sk, Chainfire are one of the top metal bands in the region - ripping up live venues like a wildfire in a tinder dry forest... and who are a personal favorite band for me. With explosive riffs , bulldozing Bass, raspy and full vocals that tie everything together with pummling drums, they give you this raw talent and powerful writing that really does set them apart in the scene.

With songs like the very catchy ‘Under me’ to the steel fortified ‘ Lay down’, shows that such a young band has some major talent that is just budding . The album called Details sounds very raw and does need a little work to clean up the recording end of things, yet it is the songs that shine through and shows Chainfire has something that cannot be taught or learned - It has to be natural.

It is true, Chainfire need a little work in some areas liked most bands today... but there is so much talent that have not bee tapped yet - they just might be the next Overkill with the power and writing they have. Thrash is not close to being dead... and seems to be alive and well in the prairies of western Canada

Chainfire Website: www.chainfire.ca

Next up, is another Saskatoon based band, one that has me even more excited than with the previous band. Doom Metal newest stars... may I introduce Lavagoat.

Heavy as granite and meaty as any Candlemass song, this four piece takes pounding Doom metal and has created a sound that is a step up in power and force. Taking the Doom metal of today, along with the classic detuned sound of very early Black Sabbath that meet very early Candlemass and My Dying Bride as well - you get this melody and power that is wrapped up in a slowed down package that can crack concrete.

With the release of their self titled album on Independent Label Somnambulist Sound System, Lavagoat bring their own stylization of massive sounds to the masses. This titanic four piece of destruction embody fully what metal is all about, yet they seem to be also making their own brand of originality and passion without missing a step or taking a road that is easier than ever.

Musically, Lavagoat has perfectly crafted calculated slow and ponderous riffs that spreads through your mind with malice, yet holds this odd feeling of catchiness that is harder to ignore than even the wall of heaviness they created. The sad fact is that these guys play a form of metal that is not as popular does not deter them... it seems to drive them to make you listen and broaden your mind to see them for who they want to be.

With a strong sense of what they are trying to convey through their brutal lyrics, the four members craft a wall of pure heavy bliss that will stay with you for longer than the album playing would. These guys are destined to be a force... too bad they might have to go into the Us and Europe to make it... but the world deserves to hear this band in the first place.

Lavagoat Website: www.myspace.com/goatlust

More is coming... next time, I have some Toronto based metallists that need to be heard... until then have a cold beer and check out the bands I have told you about already.

Daryl ‘Jd Wheels’ Adolph

Farts - Metal Style Part two

Continued- 6 to 10

6) Nu-Metal Farts

They sound a little different that the old school butt blasts, and have this strange but gag compelling aroma of vegetables and imported beer... yet they still hold their own odour wise. Despite the nu-smell, it seems to work great as it repel any signs of country music for miles, and give you the chance to order another brew from Mexico before they go to the army surplus store for masks.

7) Progressive Metal Farts

These very interesting back door opuses are a joy to hear, being that they are well crafted musical arrangement while still holding a rumbling bark like a very angry pit bull. The smells dance around and spreads as well, making people notice and run away all in the space of a few seconds. They seem so nice to the ears, but the musicality of it’s complex nature is a little bothersome to your colon.

8) Death Metal Farts

These one are nasty both on yourself and others. It leaps out and attacks at full volume, sounding like the anger of all the gods in one.. It kills by using flesh rending vibrations with the mind melting green gas cloud that accompanies it. It with stop traffic, and kill many domesticated small animals if not done outside. Some of these ones have been known to take down a commercial jet from overhead too.

9) Black Metal Farts

These nasty wicked blasts tend to nearly demolish your butt clear apart, and threaten to melt your jeans like if you had blown Brimstone fire out of your orifice. What hangs in the air after it is release, would kill any Jehovah’s Witnesses who are sadly in a ten mile radius of you and makes people repent in horror.

10) Extreme Black Metal Farts These are the ones that you only do once. Between the sound and the putridness that accompanies it, it will disintegrate you like a hydrogen bomb, and will take all life as we know it in one large cloud of green stench. We would be left in a world of methane and destruction, where even the cockroaches cannot survive them.

Farts - Metal Style Part One

I decided to do something that was very entertaining aside from my rants on bands and life in general, and it has turned out to be a little crude as well. Metalhead gaseous attack listing

1) Pop Metal Farts

These bottom explosions are ones that you may ort may not be proud of once released. They seem to have little in the way of volume or any real power, and in the end... they do not last long either. Some might say that it is even lame to blame them on the dog if your inclined to blow one, but at least you will believe that your body has better in store for next time.

2) Old School Metal Farts

These ones are your basic nasty and straight to the point sort of rear attacks. They are loud and unabashed, with a wee bit of small power that would make your little sister pass out and make her irritating cat shed on the spot.... but keep in mind they have been proven to be somewhat hazardous to your pet fish or to that butt-ugly iguana that your kid brother stole from the science lab.

3) Power Metal Farts

These one make most people around you take notice, because they sound like your taking a cheese grater to a bear’s genitals... and they really come out smelling worse than that ol’ grizzly as well. They are boisterous and completely remorseless, one whiff certainly will kill any rap fans that are within a four block area of your location. They also seem to make pet hamsters explode on contact as well

4) Thrash Metal Farts

They make most people around you want a stage dive away from you in horror... even if there is no one there to catch them after a fifteen foot drop on their faces. These bottom bellows are bombastic each of the senses anyone can actually have in their bodies, while the reek are way more crude and rude than any sailor who has had way too much to drink on shore leave.

5) Speed Metal Farts

These very distinctive bad boys are like a run away machine gun stuck on full automatic. They flair out of your nether regions and make you deliver whip lash to everyone’s ears and noses too. The stench that is produced will literally melt everybody’s minds... as well as any hair they have in their nostrils. Your butt might feel as if it on fire while expelling this rumbling attacker, but seeing the reactions around you... and the fact that it may kill the nerd in the second row, would be more than worth it.


Greetings and horns up to all:

I am back... but from exactly where, I don’t wanna talk about it ( and you don’t wanna really know...LOL). It has been a rather interesting journey, and very mentally draining to say it mildly.

I am back, and blogging away like mad for you fellow thrashers. Have lots of stuff to tell about, so over the next few days, I do that. It will take a few blogs just to get it all unloaded so the headbanging masses can see what strangeness lurks. The simple reason for the multiple blogs is simple and true here... I am too busy... that is my problem here!.

On to the task at hand... to start things off on the right foot, here is two bands that I think people not only need to know of ... but to stand up and take note of:


Australian based Technical Metal outfit Octanic is a band that needs to be heard. The mix so many stylings into their material that their brilliant originality shins through while their heaviness clubs you in the head with no mercy.

Sounding like a rather odd and very much heavier Yngwie Malmsteen styled Neo-classical progressive metal which has that classic metal mixing with some industrial and gothic leanings smattered throughout... this band shows the old adage that I love to say: talent and heaviness do go together.

I am gonna shout it to the sky and beyond about this band !! “ Industry” is clearly one of those very few albums that is good as it can get, in any style of music that is out there. With that so blatantly said... I advise anyone who loves metal and loves every genre it come in to go out and get this album.

Band Contact: www.octanic.com

Cincinnati, Ohio metallers Silver Cypher are an another one of those bands that really does seem to show that metal is alive and growing. They are on a path that will bring them metal glory, as long as they take no prisoners in the process.

They may not have the best album that has been released at the moment, yet in listening to it... I could see that tell-tailed hint of a great band that is held on the disk makes me believe that tis is a ‘to watch’ sort of act. They need a little tweaking to get there, but the talent to do al of that right is present.

They are forging their own path through the metal world, and their release of ‘Cryptic Chartacters’ really does show that they will be a band to be regarded if they keep it up. If the band can land some really good backing that they are needing, and get that proper push in the right direction... They will prove me right.

Band Contact: www.silvercypher.net

That is all for now. As usual, all of these bands and more are reviewed on metalbite.com ( they will be up in a few days) If you have any questions or comments on these, or other bands... feel free to get in touch with me.

Hail to thee, and I shall see you later:

Jd Wheels Senior Writer Metalbite.com