i really wanted to go but then I realized I just have way too many things to do in september. I'm going to be working and getting my hair done helping plan my uncles birthday party and going to that. I also don't have the money to buy the tickets right now I need to save up to get my hair done it's going to be expensive but I haven't had my hair done for two years so it's about time I get that done again. I really need a change and I really want to look nice. Plus, I need to save up for the lithium batteries for the digital camera get my other film developed and buy black and white film which is more expensive then regular film. So I am dissipointed but I still want to try to go to the she wants revenge concert in october. I was going to go to this party tonight but now I don't think I will because I know if I go I'm going to want to drink and probably get wasted then I'll come home and drink some more because that's what I always do and then I'll go to work tommorrow hungover and that would not be good. Although I really want a drink and I really want to party but I think I should restrain but drinking and partying tonight. I have to work tommorrow again but at least it's only half a day this time. I have a really bad headache though right now and I think I need to get some sleep. I just want to forget about what a lousy night it was. I'm listening to irreplaceable by beyonce cause I know he is replaceable. And that one day he will be replaced and my heart will no longer belong to him but to someone else. someone who actually deserves it.
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yesterday I got a starbucks pumpkin latte it was really good and I went to caribu coffee again and got the mango ice tea. I had too much to drink last night I just wanted to forget everything but now I'm hungover and feeling terrible. Plus, I was cleaning out my basement from the stupid flood and the water was stale there was mold and milldew and I had to throw out most of my stuff except for a couple of things. It was so depressing. tonight I went to olive garden and it was good but then I had more to drink because everyone else was drinking after we left and I didn't want to drink anything but I did and now I feel worse. But, I'm not drinking anymore tonight. I think I better stay away from alchohol for a while I've been drinking so much of it lately. And that's really not like me it's just I've been under so much stress lately. I asked the photographer about helping her but she said she dosen't need it right now and she's a one show kind of women. But, she did say she would show me some stuff when she had the time like with editing and stuff so that's cool. I haven't heard back from the modeling place yet but I only sent my portfolio in on sunday and I'm sure they get millions of applications. But, it is something important to me and they are a good modeling agency one of the best so I hope I hear back soon. I'm also pissed tonight because my aunt said I was tubby but I'm not. Then she said I wasn't skinny which I know I'm not but I don't need it thrown in my face every day that I'm not a size 2. It just makes me feel so insecure with myself which I think she does on purpose. There is so much work left in the basement too we have to finish cleaning rip the floors up replace the floor and then repaint. It will take months but then I think we are moving. There is nothing keeping me in this town anymore and I want a fresh start. Tonight when I was driving home there are so many memories of me and my ex and it just pains me to think about it all the time but living here certantly dosen't help and the farther I can get away from him the better. I'm exhausted from working all day and I'm pissed at the world especially the people that claim to be my friends but obviously are not. so leave me alone. I'm currently listening to linda strawberry fuck you I'm beautiful because fuck him I'm beautiful and fuck everyone else that thinks they can make assumptions about me and my life.
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I work in Barrington and I love it. It's kind of like hollywood. Everyone walks around in designer clothes and fake tans and louie vutton bags and talk about botox. But, it's so much fun I love those people and I love being around them. I would move there if I could afford to. Today I met this couple that have been married for 65 years and that's what I want. I thought I had that but I guess not. But, I know I'll find it one day I hope. I'm exhausted from working all day and then I went for 2 walks and I went to the store 2 times. I feel like I've done everything twice today it's so strange. lol. I'm a little tipsy too It's kind of ironic but when I was with my ex I acted all sweet and supportive and loving pretty much always and I hardley never drank or partied and I listened to rock music once in a while now I drink and party a lot and listen to hard rock all the time. I guess I felt like I had to pretend because if I did't he would leave me ironically he left me anyway so now I'm being myself and just having fun not caring about him or anyone else and living my life but ironically the woman I am is the kind of women that he likes. It's funny how things work out like that I guess. I'm excited cause I have tommorrow and saturday off but sunday I'm working in st. charles.I'm working all day tommorrow and so I'm going to be really quite busy again. I'm worried about my ex right now too. I'm listening to lindsay rush's song a little bit because that's the way that I feel right now.
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Is anyone going to the hinder concert september 8th. I really want to go. But, I have a million things to do this month so I don't know if I can make it or not. But, I'm just wondering if anyone else was planning on going?
I'm really tired right now I was up all night creating profiels for other sights. I think that's what loneliness does. Then I delted some because I felt like they were not safe and too many people where looking at my stuff. I have to go to bed very soon though I have to work all day again tommorrow which I hate I don't want to. I want to just stay home and sleep all day. It's nights like these when I really miss my ex. I miss how he used to come over late at night and we would stay up and talk all night. I'm feeling like I could cry right about now. I'm going through stages. Sometimes I'm in denial and I go to pick up the phone and call him and then I realize that I can't sometimes I'm angry at him and trying to understand why he broke up with me and why he was so cruel to me when he never was before and sometimes like tonight I'm depressed and even after everything I still want him back. Other times I feel like I'm moving on and getting over it and I could do without him just fine but sometimes I just want him back and now is one of those times. I'm good tonight just tired from the weekend. It's still the weekend but I'm exhausted already. I wish hinder was on reverbnation. I'm listening to feist 123 right now.
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yesterday I joined reverbnation. It's kind of like all these sites except it's geared more towards music. It's really fun though and I'm listening to all these cool groups and musicians I had never heard of before or had heard of but didn't listen too because they are not mainstream. And listening to some groups that are main stream. Plus, you get a profile and a blog basically the usual thing on these sites. The only bad thing is that there are some artists I wish where on there but they arn't. I don't know if that's because it's fairly new or they just haven't heard about it. So I recommend if music is something you really like and if you enjoy checking out new artists then check it out and tell your favorite artists to join. The reason why I'm annoyed is because I joined friendster too and the only thing is that my videos I put a slideshow on there and it showed up like 3 times and I couldn't get it off and then this review for some porno thing showed up and that deffintly was not me so I'm pissed about that. But, my friendster site is www.friendster.com/foxystina20 so if you have friendster then check it out but know that stuff is not my doing. I'm probably going to set up more sites today I'm addicted and the internet is a great way to connect with people all over the place. Well, I decided not to go to the neighbors house today I was just too tired from working all day yesterday. I went over there yesterday to do laundry since from the flood the washer and dryer still need to dry out but he was upstairs and then when I went back to get my stuff he was in the living room playing video games and I didn't want to bother him. I just hate when I'm having a good day and I'm actually happy and then someone does something or something happens and it completely ruins my whole night or day or whatever. Like last night I was feeling really good about stuff and then stuff happend and it just made me really pissed off and unhappy for a bit but then I had a few drinks and calmed down. I don't normally drink but once in a while I do. My neighbor is saving up to take classes that's what I'm doing too. I'm going back to school soon actually but right now I can only afford to take two classes I'll be taking more later. Right now I'm going to be taking a history class and math which sucks but when I get more money I'm going to take photography, journalism and creative writing, and fashion. If I can afford to I would also like to go to a modeling school and learn how to model better. I'm hungover and I had to clean the basement from the flood and now I'm drinkin again don't ask me why.
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I went on my ex's profile. Yeah I know that's stupid and I haven't looked at it in weeks. And one of his friends posted a comment honestly I don't know weather it was geared towrds me or not. But, I feel like I have no reason to be sorry and I don't blame myself for what happend between us. As far as I'm concerned there is no reason to. He is the one that left me and he is the one that acted like a total jerk to me. I always thought if we did break up it would at least be civil and we could remain friends. But, he made that impossible. So yeah I do blame him because in my mind it is his fault. And if he dosen't like that then he has no one to blame but himself. I'm getting so tired of his friends defending him or insinuating things when they probably don't even know half the story. How could they when I don't even know what happend. They told me to leave him alone and he told me to leave him alone and I have end of story so why can't they just leave me alone. I want to move on I'm tired of rehashing this all the time but they make it impossible to do so. I'm also pissed because I don't understand why people add me to there buddy lists or friends list and then delete me. This has happend to me three times already and if you don't want to be my friend then just don't add me. enough said. On the bright side tommorrow I'm probably going over to my neighbors house. He dosen't have class so he should be home. Plus, everyone else will be at school so we can have one on one time to talk and get to know one another. I'm really looking forward to it he is such a nice guy and super cute. I might bring my camera too as you know I love photography and I would love to get pics of him to show everyone and put on my sites. By the way another reason I'm excited is I'm going to talk to that photographer about helping her out and learning things about taking pictures and editing them and stuff. so, I'm really excited about that too. And I added my modeling portfolio I got it together and sent it in. So I hope I hear something back soon from the modeling agency. I'm exhausted from working all day and tipsy. I'm probably just gonna finish stuff up on the computer tonight and come back on tommorrow.
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She wants revenge is coming to chicago october 12th at the metro. I really want to go to the concert. Who else is gonna go? I'm tired from working all day. I wanted starbucks and some caribu coffee but didn't have any money left because I had to give it to my grandma for gas. I found out my hair is gonna cost me 95 dollars to get it done. But I should make that or almost that working this week deffilty by next week so I can get my hair done. I went over to the neighbors house but he was upstairs so I didn't get to say hi. That sucks because I really want to talk to him some more and thank him for helping me with my basement when it flooded. By the way my art work was saved so I'm so happy about that. My collages got ruined but I didn't really care about those anyway. I haven't checked my guitar yet though. My clothes are washed or mostly washed so I have more to wear now. I took pics of my art and as soon as I get them developed I will be posting them. I have to work all day again tommorrow so I'm rushing to get this stuff done. I wasted so much time on the computer tonight.
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In the united states:
1. NY
2. California
3. Las Vegas
4. New orleans
In other countries
1. Paris, France
2. Japan
3. India
4. Ireland
5. south africa
6. Ibiza, spain
7. London, England
I also love Door county WI and I really want to go back up there sometime. I might be goin to super soap weekend in disney world in november but I'm not sure yet.
I am just sittin here chillin. Tommorrow I have to go back to work and I'm not looking forward to that. But, I need the money.
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my birthday is not until feb 5th 2008. but, It will be my 21st b-day. There is actually quite a few things I would like to do. 1. Go to El Molinos mexican restraunt I haven\'t been there in ages they are in c-ville aka carpentersville. I want to go with close friends and some family. 2. I want to have a big birthday bash and invite a bunch of people. If I can afford it I will. 3. Go to vegas with a bunch of friends and drink party and maybe go see thunder down under the male strippers. lol. They are pretty hunky. I want to get a camera that\'s really good a proffesional one but not a digital camera I don\'t like digital cameras. I think they are too overroaded and everyone wants stuff fast but I personally don\'t think they take the best pics. I also want a laptop for back to school. I always have to use my moms and that sucks. Because she works from home and is on the computer most of the day so it\'s kind of hard for me to get all my stuff done. I'm drinkin and feelin tipsy I'm about to pass out right now. Nighty night.
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Kittie is coming to mokena IL at the pearl room september 13th. I really want to go and I told my ex about it before we broke up because I wanted to go with him. But, now that's not gonna happen. I still want to go though. I was just wondering who else was gonna go?
I wanna get my hair done like victoria beckham aka posh spice only the way she has it now with platinum blonde.
I am excited about possibly going to the concert and that I hopefully get to talk to my cute neighbor tommorrow.
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foxystina20 / Blog
not going to see kittie after all
i really wanted to go but then I realized I just have way too many things to do in september. I'm going to be working and getting my hair done helping plan my uncles birthday party and going to that. I also don't have the money to buy the tickets right now I need to save up to get my hair done it's going to be expensive but I haven't had my hair done for two years so it's about time I get that done again. I really need a change and I really want to look nice. Plus, I need to save up for the lithium batteries for the digital camera get my other film developed and buy black and white film which is more expensive then regular film. So I am dissipointed but I still want to try to go to the she wants revenge concert in october. I was going to go to this party tonight but now I don't think I will because I know if I go I'm going to want to drink and probably get wasted then I'll come home and drink some more because that's what I always do and then I'll go to work tommorrow hungover and that would not be good. Although I really want a drink and I really want to party but I think I should restrain but drinking and partying tonight. I have to work tommorrow again but at least it's only half a day this time. I have a really bad headache though right now and I think I need to get some sleep. I just want to forget about what a lousy night it was. I'm listening to irreplaceable by beyonce cause I know he is replaceable. And that one day he will be replaced and my heart will no longer belong to him but to someone else. someone who actually deserves it.
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hungover
yesterday I got a starbucks pumpkin latte it was really good and I went to caribu coffee again and got the mango ice tea. I had too much to drink last night I just wanted to forget everything but now I'm hungover and feeling terrible. Plus, I was cleaning out my basement from the stupid flood and the water was stale there was mold and milldew and I had to throw out most of my stuff except for a couple of things. It was so depressing. tonight I went to olive garden and it was good but then I had more to drink because everyone else was drinking after we left and I didn't want to drink anything but I did and now I feel worse. But, I'm not drinking anymore tonight. I think I better stay away from alchohol for a while I've been drinking so much of it lately. And that's really not like me it's just I've been under so much stress lately. I asked the photographer about helping her but she said she dosen't need it right now and she's a one show kind of women. But, she did say she would show me some stuff when she had the time like with editing and stuff so that's cool. I haven't heard back from the modeling place yet but I only sent my portfolio in on sunday and I'm sure they get millions of applications. But, it is something important to me and they are a good modeling agency one of the best so I hope I hear back soon. I'm also pissed tonight because my aunt said I was tubby but I'm not. Then she said I wasn't skinny which I know I'm not but I don't need it thrown in my face every day that I'm not a size 2. It just makes me feel so insecure with myself which I think she does on purpose. There is so much work left in the basement too we have to finish cleaning rip the floors up replace the floor and then repaint. It will take months but then I think we are moving. There is nothing keeping me in this town anymore and I want a fresh start. Tonight when I was driving home there are so many memories of me and my ex and it just pains me to think about it all the time but living here certantly dosen't help and the farther I can get away from him the better. I'm exhausted from working all day and I'm pissed at the world especially the people that claim to be my friends but obviously are not. so leave me alone. I'm currently listening to linda strawberry fuck you I'm beautiful because fuck him I'm beautiful and fuck everyone else that thinks they can make assumptions about me and my life.
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Barrington is like hollywood and I love it
I work in Barrington and I love it. It's kind of like hollywood. Everyone walks around in designer clothes and fake tans and louie vutton bags and talk about botox. But, it's so much fun I love those people and I love being around them. I would move there if I could afford to. Today I met this couple that have been married for 65 years and that's what I want. I thought I had that but I guess not. But, I know I'll find it one day I hope. I'm exhausted from working all day and then I went for 2 walks and I went to the store 2 times. I feel like I've done everything twice today it's so strange. lol. I'm a little tipsy too It's kind of ironic but when I was with my ex I acted all sweet and supportive and loving pretty much always and I hardley never drank or partied and I listened to rock music once in a while now I drink and party a lot and listen to hard rock all the time. I guess I felt like I had to pretend because if I did't he would leave me ironically he left me anyway so now I'm being myself and just having fun not caring about him or anyone else and living my life but ironically the woman I am is the kind of women that he likes. It's funny how things work out like that I guess. I'm excited cause I have tommorrow and saturday off but sunday I'm working in st. charles.I'm working all day tommorrow and so I'm going to be really quite busy again. I'm worried about my ex right now too. I'm listening to lindsay rush's song a little bit because that's the way that I feel right now.
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hinder concert
Is anyone going to the hinder concert september 8th. I really want to go. But, I have a million things to do this month so I don't know if I can make it or not. But, I'm just wondering if anyone else was planning on going? I'm really tired right now I was up all night creating profiels for other sights. I think that's what loneliness does. Then I delted some because I felt like they were not safe and too many people where looking at my stuff. I have to go to bed very soon though I have to work all day again tommorrow which I hate I don't want to. I want to just stay home and sleep all day. It's nights like these when I really miss my ex. I miss how he used to come over late at night and we would stay up and talk all night. I'm feeling like I could cry right about now. I'm going through stages. Sometimes I'm in denial and I go to pick up the phone and call him and then I realize that I can't sometimes I'm angry at him and trying to understand why he broke up with me and why he was so cruel to me when he never was before and sometimes like tonight I'm depressed and even after everything I still want him back. Other times I feel like I'm moving on and getting over it and I could do without him just fine but sometimes I just want him back and now is one of those times. I'm good tonight just tired from the weekend. It's still the weekend but I'm exhausted already. I wish hinder was on reverbnation. I'm listening to feist 123 right now.
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annoyed
yesterday I joined reverbnation. It's kind of like all these sites except it's geared more towards music. It's really fun though and I'm listening to all these cool groups and musicians I had never heard of before or had heard of but didn't listen too because they are not mainstream. And listening to some groups that are main stream. Plus, you get a profile and a blog basically the usual thing on these sites. The only bad thing is that there are some artists I wish where on there but they arn't. I don't know if that's because it's fairly new or they just haven't heard about it. So I recommend if music is something you really like and if you enjoy checking out new artists then check it out and tell your favorite artists to join. The reason why I'm annoyed is because I joined friendster too and the only thing is that my videos I put a slideshow on there and it showed up like 3 times and I couldn't get it off and then this review for some porno thing showed up and that deffintly was not me so I'm pissed about that. But, my friendster site is www.friendster.com/foxystina20 so if you have friendster then check it out but know that stuff is not my doing. I'm probably going to set up more sites today I'm addicted and the internet is a great way to connect with people all over the place. Well, I decided not to go to the neighbors house today I was just too tired from working all day yesterday. I went over there yesterday to do laundry since from the flood the washer and dryer still need to dry out but he was upstairs and then when I went back to get my stuff he was in the living room playing video games and I didn't want to bother him. I just hate when I'm having a good day and I'm actually happy and then someone does something or something happens and it completely ruins my whole night or day or whatever. Like last night I was feeling really good about stuff and then stuff happend and it just made me really pissed off and unhappy for a bit but then I had a few drinks and calmed down. I don't normally drink but once in a while I do. My neighbor is saving up to take classes that's what I'm doing too. I'm going back to school soon actually but right now I can only afford to take two classes I'll be taking more later. Right now I'm going to be taking a history class and math which sucks but when I get more money I'm going to take photography, journalism and creative writing, and fashion. If I can afford to I would also like to go to a modeling school and learn how to model better. I'm hungover and I had to clean the basement from the flood and now I'm drinkin again don't ask me why.
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pissed
I went on my ex's profile. Yeah I know that's stupid and I haven't looked at it in weeks. And one of his friends posted a comment honestly I don't know weather it was geared towrds me or not. But, I feel like I have no reason to be sorry and I don't blame myself for what happend between us. As far as I'm concerned there is no reason to. He is the one that left me and he is the one that acted like a total jerk to me. I always thought if we did break up it would at least be civil and we could remain friends. But, he made that impossible. So yeah I do blame him because in my mind it is his fault. And if he dosen't like that then he has no one to blame but himself. I'm getting so tired of his friends defending him or insinuating things when they probably don't even know half the story. How could they when I don't even know what happend. They told me to leave him alone and he told me to leave him alone and I have end of story so why can't they just leave me alone. I want to move on I'm tired of rehashing this all the time but they make it impossible to do so. I'm also pissed because I don't understand why people add me to there buddy lists or friends list and then delete me. This has happend to me three times already and if you don't want to be my friend then just don't add me. enough said. On the bright side tommorrow I'm probably going over to my neighbors house. He dosen't have class so he should be home. Plus, everyone else will be at school so we can have one on one time to talk and get to know one another. I'm really looking forward to it he is such a nice guy and super cute. I might bring my camera too as you know I love photography and I would love to get pics of him to show everyone and put on my sites. By the way another reason I'm excited is I'm going to talk to that photographer about helping her out and learning things about taking pictures and editing them and stuff. so, I'm really excited about that too. And I added my modeling portfolio I got it together and sent it in. So I hope I hear something back soon from the modeling agency. I'm exhausted from working all day and tipsy. I'm probably just gonna finish stuff up on the computer tonight and come back on tommorrow.
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she wants revenge concert
She wants revenge is coming to chicago october 12th at the metro. I really want to go to the concert. Who else is gonna go? I'm tired from working all day. I wanted starbucks and some caribu coffee but didn't have any money left because I had to give it to my grandma for gas. I found out my hair is gonna cost me 95 dollars to get it done. But I should make that or almost that working this week deffilty by next week so I can get my hair done. I went over to the neighbors house but he was upstairs so I didn't get to say hi. That sucks because I really want to talk to him some more and thank him for helping me with my basement when it flooded. By the way my art work was saved so I'm so happy about that. My collages got ruined but I didn't really care about those anyway. I haven't checked my guitar yet though. My clothes are washed or mostly washed so I have more to wear now. I took pics of my art and as soon as I get them developed I will be posting them. I have to work all day again tommorrow so I'm rushing to get this stuff done. I wasted so much time on the computer tonight.
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what places I want to see
In the united states: 1. NY 2. California 3. Las Vegas 4. New orleans In other countries 1. Paris, France 2. Japan 3. India 4. Ireland 5. south africa 6. Ibiza, spain 7. London, England I also love Door county WI and I really want to go back up there sometime. I might be goin to super soap weekend in disney world in november but I'm not sure yet. I am just sittin here chillin. Tommorrow I have to go back to work and I'm not looking forward to that. But, I need the money.
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can't wait till my b-day
my birthday is not until feb 5th 2008. but, It will be my 21st b-day. There is actually quite a few things I would like to do. 1. Go to El Molinos mexican restraunt I haven\'t been there in ages they are in c-ville aka carpentersville. I want to go with close friends and some family. 2. I want to have a big birthday bash and invite a bunch of people. If I can afford it I will. 3. Go to vegas with a bunch of friends and drink party and maybe go see thunder down under the male strippers. lol. They are pretty hunky. I want to get a camera that\'s really good a proffesional one but not a digital camera I don\'t like digital cameras. I think they are too overroaded and everyone wants stuff fast but I personally don\'t think they take the best pics. I also want a laptop for back to school. I always have to use my moms and that sucks. Because she works from home and is on the computer most of the day so it\'s kind of hard for me to get all my stuff done. I'm drinkin and feelin tipsy I'm about to pass out right now. Nighty night.
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Kittie Concert
Kittie is coming to mokena IL at the pearl room september 13th. I really want to go and I told my ex about it before we broke up because I wanted to go with him. But, now that's not gonna happen. I still want to go though. I was just wondering who else was gonna go? I wanna get my hair done like victoria beckham aka posh spice only the way she has it now with platinum blonde. I am excited about possibly going to the concert and that I hopefully get to talk to my cute neighbor tommorrow.
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