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Gary Sibley aka Daniel Rassum / Blog

FINDING MY VOICE

Each time I busk, no matter where I am; I take time to thank GOD for life. I'm compelled to do that now and to declare HIS GOODNESS and HIS MERCY. Because all things exist because of HIM. I am grateful to HIM to be alive today and in a sound state of being. When I was young I use to hear old folk say, “It's good to be in the land of the living.” Now that I'm old I find myself saying it. I am sixty years old. I love life. I always have loved life....and I live it with passion. I want to see for myself. I want to experience life myself. You say the stove is hot? Well I've got to touch it. I get burned a lot. But I've got to know for myself. Some pick and laugh at my burns while secretly envying the very blessings that are associated with this approach towards life. My life has been rich and full. I've swam up stream all my life. In truth, I often consciously and deliberately chose the hard way. Well that's who I am and I don't apologize. Because GOD put that in me. I am blessed because I don't take anyones' word. I'm blessed in that it compels me to search out TRUTH. You say GOD is? Well I want to experience HIM for myself. You say that HE is good? Well I want to see HIS goodness for myself. That's a blessing because in HIS WORD, GOD tells us that if we seek HIM with our whole heart we WILL FIND HIM. I thank GOD for putting it in me to live with passion. It was GOD who put in me to put my heart (PASSION) into what I do. I am that I am and that's all I can be. I am learning to love on me. I am learning to embrace me. This may sound elementary to some, however it is healing for me. I have many issue that I have struggled with for as far back as I remember. People usually respond to that truth with, “ Who don't have issues? “. It is true, we all have issues. However, I work diligently on my issues...every day. Because my issues have landed me in jails, institutions and drug addition. I refuse to settle for being victim of my issues. I don't go to jail any more. I am free and learning how to take control of how I allow these issues to effect my quality of life. I don't have all the answers. But I have come a long way. GOD has walked with me....every step of the way. HE has revealed truths to me that have helped. One truth about Gary Sibley is that I have suffered from undiagnosed mental illness all my life. It took a long time to get it but one day I realized that I went crazy anytime I felt that I was being rejected by close family members. The key words are; ' when I felt I was being rejected '. My acting out was not based on reality...it was based on what I felt. Once GOD revealed this to me it placed me on a path of healing. I am rejected by some close family members and accepted by some close family. But to allow acceptance and rejection of others to control me is giving them power over my life. Most know this and have no issue with it. Well this has been my issue and there are other people suffering in this area that can benefit from what I have to say. And I am benefiting as I embrace these truths about me. I have to learn how to take control of me. Power is in acceptance. MY POWER REST IN LEARNING HOW TO LOVE AND ACCEPT ME.