The buzzer won't stop until i turn it off The clouds outside look dark & soft The dog opens her eyes & shuts them again The tv was left on all night in the den The carpet feels damp underneath my feet The mirror looks back with eyes of deceit My clothes are filthy from the night before So i peel them off & let them fall to the floor As the water trickles down my skin I stare at the wall & think of the trouble i'm in I hear the whistle of the water boiling Time to make the coffee & get going My hair looks good & the suit still fits Getting out the door is the hardest trick Turning off the stereo & hitting the lights Thinking of the monotony taking place again tonight The door is locked & the windows are shut Making it through today would be a stroke of good luck i get in the car that's almost out of gas Turn it on & pull out of the grass The radio's playing some kind of bullshit But i've taught myself not to listen to it i wave at the neighbor mowing his lawn Thirty seconds later i'm already gone Just gotta make it down the hill So i can bring home one more twenty dollar bill All i can think of is "what if...?" i drove straight off the side of this cliff
You see him when you're driving You walk passed her on your path You pretend you don't see them Even when they stop to ask They ask you for a quarter Or they ask you for directions They ask you for a dollar But you're not answering their questions He may be Broke He may not have a home She may be addicted But they're not alone They still hear their friends Who are long since gone Whispers & whistles & wind When there is none You earned your change Just as they earned theirs By just scraping by & never getting anywhere Next time you see them Just do me a favor Give them a cigarette & treat them like your neighbor 'Cause the roles could be reversed Him in the suit & you in the hearse
Once upon a time i had something to say...but now all that has gone away I just sit around talking to the town... with a pint of tears to drowned my ways Dereliction of duty is a strong way to put it... i like to think i waste my days With nothing to do but sit and stew... and let the pretty girls avert my gaze From a direction of destruction... off in the distance covered by a thick haze That awaits me still at the top of a hill... like a piece of cheese at the end of a maze
i can smell you from across the room, cigarettes and sex. your eyes collide with mine, and now i'm vexed. you're a confidant little seductress. you're gentle when you caress my ego, i don't ever want to let you go. but not everything is what it seems, i guess you're not just the girl of MY dreams. you've been loved like a good bicycle, or the popular girl in high school. you may be a screaming hottie, but you don't become a goddess by giving away your body. don't you have any self-respect? haven't you had enough neglect? cuz you've been had. don't you see that you're being used? does that even matter to you? you may think you're in control but you're slowly losing what's left of your soul.
half a cigarette and half a bottle of whiskey too much coffee makes me feel a little frisky and it lasts three times longer than it should i'd have already gone to sleep if i could my pulse is erratic and my fingers are frozen i miss how you kept me warm every single momeant and long into the night the dream stays alive as long as you're not fucking me in the mouth with a loadead .45 i think i'll survive
the road behind me slithers at your feet the dawn ahead is planning my defeat i cannot rest on these city streets the twilight embraced is so much more sweet than you could have been if you had really tried to be more than you are just a liar inside of a thick outer shell that your bullshit provides but it makes me feel better that you're not really all i've you were like the wind caught in my nose or the sun burning into my eyes a fictitious image and not at all any part of real life
put up or shut up don't get down on me do it yourself 'cause i ain't gonna give it up for free
who are you? to talk shit to me? try it yourself & then tell me how hard it can be
Don't be like me Be who you Wanna be!
you got ideas? well write 'em out how do they feel? would you show 'em to a feisty crowd?
don't be fake be real knot for your boyfriend's sake but for the feelings that you really feel
Don't be like me Be who you Wanna be!
& when you play YOUR music in front of a crowd you'll have room to talk & fit your other foot in your mouth!
a crumb of food fell out of my mouth and i sat there staring at it caring about it caring for it wishing it hadn't strayed from the rest of the flock fugazi was spilling and babbling out of the speakers and i heard ian ask me "why do you care? it's a fucking crumb is it essential to the importance of life that you hadn't dribbled food out of your mouth?" and i thought about the circles i run in and their manners i thought of the increasing difficulty in maintaining my motor functions in proper working order after the several years of constant drug and alcohol abuse and how long i might be able to maintain the control that i still have i thought of societal standards and women i thought of the times i ate things i couldn't wreckogneyes because i was a hungry homeless underage runaway and about how i don't like to waste food waste anything really sometimes i fucking revel in disenchanting bullshit so it doesn't go to waste... = ;-} bullshit?+waste?
AND THEN GOD SAID "Maybe you should just chew with your mouth shut from now on?"
i wasn't raised by the street nor the pride or the beef nothing could keep me from my eternal stride i stole the ticket just to take the ride
everything had a dollar sign or said "wanted" in the window but i didn't have a dollar to my name or a nickel or dime to show so i hustled my ass but never sold no blow i sold my act just to blow my load
i learned i could live on ten dollars a day askin' that in quarters is a 7Eleven away
beggin' is easy you just gotta give up 'cuz i ain't shit and yoU know what's goin' on a $5ive dollar beer and $Four worth of food is more than i'm worth if not gaggles of fools
i learned i could live on $10n dollars a day fuck you if you couldn't live that way
'cuz those that can will take your heart out show it to you and then rip it apart
i'm the son of a thief but stealing's an art shooting up junk is just the end of the start
i learned i could live on $10ten dollars a day but somebody had to show me the way i learned to live on ten $dollars$ a day if i couldn't beg for money i'd have to learn how to pray
a new time and a new place the same girl with a different face the same bed with different sheets all new things to please only me
and when the time comes for you to let go i will walk out onto the same road torn between the road and my feet are the challenges that are storming swirling and collecting like a hurricane of souls waiting for the time when "i" can let go
behind me the snake begins to hiss if i leave it will turn me into this wretched writhing worn out withered thoughtless friendless and tattered meaningless excuse for a child born in the small town but raised in the wild
and after 13 years 12 months and one day i still can't shake the old man's ways he taught me to change the wind and to lose at everything i did
hey go easy on me i'm just a 25 year old kid