Mcilveen / Blog

Plan B

Plan A – “The Lotto” This investment is not working out so good, since it’s inception we are down 83.6 % Our holdings include scratch tickets and quick picks for every pack of smokes purchased as well as numerous trips to the local casinos. Fortunately, the gas to get to them was a taxable deduction. Plan B – “The Island” Ok, I like islands. The only question is “how may I purchase such an item?”. It starts with everyone on the planet buying one song for a dollar. Baboom!, Island. This Island will be very special, just like Willie Wonkas chocolate factory. You could be invited because we will be giving out golden tickets in the downloaded song and if your one of the lucky people to find such a golden ticket, you might get an invite, but there are very specific rules that come with this Islands invite and they are as follows: 1 – Political correctness will not be tolerated. eg; anyone upset by a slang term used in humour shall be dealt with immediately by the islands resident retard. 2 – Marijuana will be distributed freely so that everyone can truly enjoy the Island and all it’s natural beauty. Especially the beach. I find it even helps Jeffy tunes sound better, it's weird. 3 – There shall be no taxes since the Island will be supported by the funding of Jeffy tunes and therefore a beer shall cost only it’s true value, around 15 cents, including deposit. 4 – Fat chicks will be allowed on the Island because some guys just like fat chicks ie; Sean Michael and Craig. 5 – Golf carts will be available 24/7 for the drinkers just like all the guys I recently played golf with. Practice makes perfect. 6 – No watches. Time will not matter and if you want to get up early, the rooster will let you know, then you may eat him for dinner but you have to catch him first. 7 – Blood letting will be available for anyone feeling under the weather. That, and of course, the medical marijuana. So buy a song and I shall make you an official friend of Jeffy. Simply copy and paste this statement, “ I am an official friend of Jeffys’ onto any word document and keep it with you. When this goes viral and you are at the bar telling your friends, “ No man, I am an official friend of Jeffy, that dude that owns that island.” Simply show them your official documentation and they will believe you. The island will need more rules so feel free to post them so that everyone can contribute they’re own thoughts. I would like suggestions for the monetary system to be used but I will take no suggestions from the World Bank or the Federal Reserve. If the island needs money we shall print and loan it to ourselves, just like JFK wanted to do. We also need a name, Jeffyland seems to pertinacious so help us out with that one. Good News - 97% of all profit monies go straight to Jeffys’ bank account. Due to our very low overhead and administration fees, 97% of all proceeds collected will be deposited directly to Jeffys’ paypal account. 3% of that will be donated to the Witch rehabilitation fund and the rest will go towards the Island. Paypal gets the difference. Feel free to use this most excellent business plan to purchase your own island, then we could possibly be neighbors.