new album on it's way.. how can it be that 95% of an album is recorded in 3 months and the last wee bit is taking forever? :)
It's amazing the power that music has to transcend daily worries, worries about the future etc. At least for me it has always almost been magical. Actually it is magic. I don't know how but whenever I start to worry again and often with good reason, it promises that everything will work out and in hindsight somehow it does, just follow the music. I told a friend today who is very talented, whenever you are using the gifts that you were born with, things will only get better and better for you. I believe that is true. Of course I can see that truth in someone else but can't always see myself!:) Maybe that why we need certain friends to remind us. Everyone has a gift, passion of some kind and it bypasses media, politics, statistics and even logic so don't listen when people say you're dreaming. I write this to remind myself too because I still forget sometimes.
I just got back after three months recording in Illinois. So grateful I followed that hunch now, it seemed daunting in theory but the whole experience was kind of magical. Recording was a big part of most days but I got to meet some lovely people and play on a few nice gigs plus had my first experience with a real snow blizzard. Snowed in at Jacksonville! Got addicted to Dunkin Donut american coffee. My huge gratitude to Paul Adams who was a joy to stay and make music with. I'm very happy to have a new album finally on it's way and about to start mixing and putting it together. Back in Sydney George Golla and I are at Chophouse again tomorrow night and we'd love to see you if you're around (25 Bligh st, 7pm)
I was thinking about what things mean to us. Watching an ant carrying something bigger than itself is more meaningful to me than for example the birthday of a celebrity for which I have no feeling. Something has meaning only if it means something to you. For better or for worse I seem to have lost interest in popularity, what is popular or being popular. Only because so much of what is created has it's eye on the market or accolades or is dumbed down for sales or ratings. And so little is allowed to bloom naturally in it's full expression!
I can't lie, I create music to connect with others and treasure the music and people and things I connect with. But connection and popularity feel different somehow. When something connects it seems to arrive already complete, but what's popular seems completed by the approval of others.
ps this photo is a basic hotel room to anyone else but is meaningful to me as once it was home.
suddenly realising it's been a very romantic year. I didn't travel or record, it wasn't about accolades, I didn't meet a man. I spent it intensely playing music, little gigs, writing, songs, journals, nature, reading, meditating/praying, observing, in cafes, talking - sometimes with friends, family, people in the street. I played trumpet under a tree most days, swapped TV for books, was in bed a...t 6pm when I wasn't gigging. It may sound isolated or self indulgent but I finally accept I'm more useful to others this way. I only ever frustrate them when I try to conform. I'm through with even trying to explain. There's so much wisdom in that saying, 'You don't always get what you want but you get what you need'. 'Need', in hindsight is sometimes a greater blessing than our 'Want'!
I once had to reduce all my things, belongings to fit into five cardboard boxes because of circumstances and it was so hard but really liberating. I thought I would pine for things but it never happened. It taught me if you like it or liked it or once loved it, are fond of it or keep meaning to use it you will never miss it. If it makes your spirit soar keep it.
There's a sadness in me at the moment and I suddenly wondered how many people live with sadness somewhere in them either from lost dreams, regret, love or something from childhood even. And many carry that around in silence. Life is great but it's not always fair, well - up close. We have to step right back and trust, it can take years, sometimes a life time to SEE and understand some things.
I admire very confident people and there's a saying 'fake it till you make it'. I can't fake it though, people see straight through. I'm not sure confidence matters so much once we're passionate enough about something. I love performing because of love I feel for music and audience. I'd like to be super confident in all areas of life, I'm not. But now I feel, forget about confidence, go for peace. Do what you REALLY LOVE, you'll find your way. Others say 'confidence is crucial in today's competitive society' but for me I truly believe, follow your heart and you'll be fine.
Picture a room crowded with people all watching you give a speech but you're floundering inside. And out the corner of your eye you see the back door open and someone who's incredibly special to you slips in silently and is watching from the back. And you feel suddenly different, clear, strong inside. That is how hope returns sometimes, it's a silent amazing shift, there's no fanfare.
trumpet has been my most tough love teacher. It's taken me so many years to understand that to practice a thing (whatever the thing is) every day is not about technical obligation or duty. It has to be SPIRITUAL, for joy, from the heart, a form of prayer, an act of love.