*Not getting a gig cause “I look too much like Kathy Griffin.”
*THE Tiffany serenading me with “I Think We’re Alone Now” and then stepping off the stage, sitting down beside me, facing the press and saying “We need a pic together.” I almost fainted.
*An audience member telling me that he was glad to find out I wasn’t a tranny.
*Some guy tossing his wedding ring in the air when he was on stage with me. He told me later that he had planned on tossing it in the river (caught her cheating) but decided to do it in front of 600 people instead. Got a lot of questions about that one. I'm not a home wrecker, folks.
*Hosting a huge New Years Eve party and accidentally doing the countdown a minute early because I couldn’t see the clock. What’s extra funny is that the audience knew exactly what time it was but they counted down with me because they obviously felt sorry for me. Gotta love southerners.
*Being hired to sing in a freight elevator (ended up being one of my favorite gigs).
*Having anchorman Joe Bickett of Fox 7 News paint my toes while I'll sang “Big Fine Daddy” to him live on the air. He's a serious guy so it was fun to lighten him up.
*Forgetting the Austin mayor’s last name when I introduced him at an award show.
*Walking out of an FHM photoshoot because the outfits they provided were NOT what was discussed. They threatened to sue me but never did. The publication went out of business in 2006. Shocker.
*Asking a huge crowd of white people why there weren’t any black people in Texas and NONE of them finding it amusing except for the 5 Nigerian guys sitting in the middle of the crowd. To make everyone feel even more uncomfortable, I went up to those guys and serenaded them by singing “Black Coffee.” They loved it.
*Ashton Kutcher telling me me that we had to leave a party we were judging a dance contest at because it was getting “too wild.” Ashton has a “too wild” meter. I was impressed.
*Yelling for security when I actually needed it and my band laughing at me because they thought I was kidding (I yell for security all of the time as a joke). We now have a “safe" word.
*Grabbing an audience member by his tie, pulling him close to me and both of our mouths hitting my microphone pretty hard. He had a fat lip and I chipped my tooth. Still have that chipped tooth. It's a battle wound.
*After being interviewed by Howard Stern, and receiving the usual inappropriate questions he’s been known to give, him coming over to me, giving me a hug and “making sure I was ok.” Totally different guy off the air.
*The instrumental recording cutting out when I was singing the opening number during the Austin Fashion Awards, which I hosted. Ended up singing acapella and being grateful it happened because I got to improv what would have been happening if the music was playing. It was actually a funnier performance because it was so off the cuff.
*Pulling my wig off during a show and not realizing why the audience was looking at me funny. Quickly realized that my wig was off, but the wig cap was still on.
*”Grooming” Regis Philbin’s nose while being on Live with Regis & Kelly. He was so embarrassed that he walked off set and they cut to commercial.
*Making the VERY hard decision to pass on being a millionaire... by not posing for Playboy. People still give me a hard time about it.