1994 was the year I passed my driving test. Cyril’s promise came to pass and I got a few lessons from Dennis Brown to get the feel for a car. The only draw back going out with Dennis is he has sleep apnea. On one occasion we had made it to the gravel car park in St Ouens and he decided to have a nap. I circled that gravel so many laps I had left a huge Mini Metro shaped trench. He did wake up finally and quipped “That’s very good you doing well” I decided if I was to get anywhere fast I would have lessons. Irishman Bill Cleary did wonders for me. He used to start smoking as soon as we set off and sink down into his saddle. I’m not sure what was in that cigarette but it sure made him calm, until one day I seen the amber light and using my lightning reflexes, depressed accelerator to get through and save time.... The car immediately goes into a skid as Bill had come out of his tobaccoesque haze and slammed on the dual braking system,, Cursing along the lines of jezzzuz you’ll fecking kill the pedestrians and that’s an instant fecking fail boy. But after 10 lessons I was deemed ready to face the wrath of the most feared instructor. Mr Cronin. I had the 8.30am slot and as soon as Bill seen it was Cronin, he remarked “Oh Jaysus Christ you’ve got the cunt Cronin” I was already too nervous to worry who I had and we set off for the gut wrenching 20 minute test. The reversing went well and the hill start was a dream. We hit traffic coming back into town and came to a stand still. “Oh dear, bad traffic” I remarked This was like a Tsunami of words. Cronin just looked at me sucked in a huge breath and started talking. Possibly the only time he had spoken in working hours. Possibly the only time any one had spoken to him without calling him an obscenity. He paid no heed to my driving we did the emergency stop where if it was in real life I would have killed the old lady with the shopping. Still babbling away we pulled up and he signed the paper and said I’d passed. Just like that. I seen Bill waiting by for the bad news. I gave him a hug and he was staggered when I told him I talked to him all the way and we were having a good old chat. Bill left me with some great words of wisdom as he dropped me off. “I don’t want to see you again. In the nicest way of course.”
Just to keep you all updates and in the loop. After 1 year living in New Zealand and battling the cold and frosty winter, our album is out very soon. We recorded it at Tsunami Studios, Levin and had a great weekend there. It's 9 tracks and 5 are instrumentals. We really hope you will enjoy it as much as we have. The first 2 tracks can be streamed here. Enjoy and thank you. XX JB and Monika
The staff were good value too. Dennis Brown was a 74 year old apprentice but a fully qualified pervert. Dennis loved to talk about sex at any given moment and his favourite story was the one of the male stallion. As he tells the tale his eyes start to roll and a light drizzle of spittle starts speckling you from his mouth. God help you If you got cornered by him as there was a chance you’d drown. He continues about the stallion and how it was brought into the stable and the female was tied up ready and wet and waiting. The stallions cock is introduced to the females vagina and with a plank of 4 x 2 they hit the stallions arse and he thrusts his enormous cock into female vagina ejaculates and pulls out. Once and once only. They take the males cock and place it in a bowl of cold water steam comes off it as it the friction was so strong as he penetrated the female. By this time Dennis had hyperventilated and had to be sat in the office till he calmed down. He told me this at least once a week and loved to talk about how when he was younger his cock was the size of a WD40 can and now he uses his finger as it’s bigger than his cock. Pure filth but a legend of La Moye.
Nov 4th/5th/6th 2011
Well what a great weekend in Jersey. I put the Trafalgar under pressure when 56 people turned up and sardined into the back rom for an evening of musical greatness.. Marcus Harley wowed the crowd with his cerebal free flow rapping and then Chris Almond did a superb slide show with a sound track of tunes from "Contradictions" Big thanks to Naomi West, Andy Coleman, Chris Herbert, Monika Jurkewitz and Christy for the final jam out.. Brilliant night and the CD "Tongue & Groove" is officially out there....
Sat seen the town leg of the release at White label Records. Jersey used to have a few indy record shops but this one seems to have lasted.. Mal White let me strum away and we had the street dancing to the tunes.. Nice vibe up in upper colomberie, watch this space for muiscal soirees there..
Sunday 5pm at the Bean around the world coffee shop. I invited the talents of Stephan Metcalfe for the support slot and it turned into a lovely evening of music.. A small crowd stayed for the whole show and were treated to songs off all my 6 releases. From mandolin tunes to the older Fathers chair. Great end to a weekend of music.
Thanks all the people who made it so lovely
Hey fans of me.
Please keep checking the dates on the tour of New Zealand .. Who knows I could be heading into your town for a showcase. Keep it real brothers and sisters