Born simultaneously at the bottom of a well Drookit Dogs very quickly learned how to put up with each other's dank and swampy stench. A lack of education meant they had to communicate in other ways, so as soon as Tom began tapping on the walls Matt began to make strange noises with his pondscum-coated vocal chords. Whitey collected the hair that fell from their drenched prune-like skin and combined it with an old piece of driftwood that had miraculously appeared. As a result he invented a device which made low bowel-rumbling notes when he plucked it. The well acted like a speaker and very soon people travelled from miles around to hear this alien sound which erupted like a pus-filled boil from the darkness of the well. Eventually the king demanded that this sound be given a face, so a swat team was sent in to recover these three amorphous beings and place them on a bandstand. When they emerged it turned out they were not human but in fact canine (in a sense) and the lack of sunlight had inspired a new breed; they walked on their hind legs and had an inherent ability to play their very own brand of polk music. The king awarded them all with instruments and set them loose...