Jay Bell: says controversial things into a microphone and plays the chainsaw
Bill Boffatt: smacks dat bass like he smacks indonesian hookers asses
Joe "Patented Stroke Game" Pooler: hits shit with other shit
Chris Trainor: actually knows what he's doing
Bedtime Charlie (aka Shane, aka uncle tickles): the token vegan on the axe
Victor Salerno- plays a 4 stringed guitar just because
Richard "Dick" Taraborrelli- honorary band member because he helped carry shit once and gave us a microphone another time. now he just stands there and looks pretty.