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Todd Lincoln Richards / Press

"I'll tell you a little secret....Under the hat...Todd Lincoln Richards is totally bald".

Dwight Yoakam

"I didn't realize he was so popular. Just yesterday I saw a picture of him at the post office".

Dad

“Let me guess, the chords in his new song are....G, C, and D?”

his bandmates

“A lot of people don't realize this, but he's an accomplished guitarist also, at this point he knows all three chords, and he plays two of them pretty well”

his guitar instructor

“Todd was never the same after the Milli Vanilli incident. He took it very hard....”

a concerned friend

“You call that Country? Bull****! He's a total poser, I bet he pees sitting down.”

Mom

“Legally, Todd cannot be within 100 yards of me.”

Steve Earle

“He's winning! The guy drinks tiger blood.”

Charlie

“Let's put it this way, he's personal hygiene challenged.”

the band

“Don't make him go all Jim Steinman on your a**”

his producer

“There are seven degrees of separation between Todd Lincoln Richards and Kevin Bacon”

Will Smith

“When I get older, I'm gonna beat the crap out of him. Let's see him write a song about that.”

his little brother

“When you play his songs backwards, you can hear satanic messages plain as day”

Jerry Fallwell

“If I had to describe Todd Lincoln Richards as a songwriter......I'd say he has a very cool dog.”

my best friend

“I have never seen Todd Lincoln Richards and Batman in the same room at the same time.....you do the math.”

The Joker

“His cover of Dancing Queen is always a high point in the show!”

random audience member

“Go see Todd Lincoln Richards live onstage! The choreography and pyrotechnics are amazing!”

fan

“This guy can clear a room like nobody's business. It's actually quite impressive.”

every promoter in town

“Todd once wrote a song so sad, that it scored an 11 on the sadliness meter. Now keep in mind, the sadliness meter only goes to 10.”

Yoda

“Folks around these parts, most of them think Todd's a ninja!”

Todd's parole officer

“Todd Lincoln Richards?! He's great. He and I went to different high schools together!”

Joe - At the corner Texaco

“Out of all the songwriters in Los Angeles, Todd Lincoln Richards is definitely one of them.”

yesterday daily review