Stirling Gardner / Press

“Dear Stirling, Thank you for the pills, especially the ambien. They make me think of Dorothy Parker's "Big Blonde" - "one verinol tablet and you cork off pretty." Thanks for the book with your story in it. I like the "candle that smells like a Mexican carwash" and the idea of "weird Canadian baseball". Sincerely, David Sedaris”

“Dear Stirling, Thank you for the CD you gave me. I especially liked "the chia Christ", "the babies with mullets" and the line "all tanning contests are rigged." There was a problem with the CD and it lost contact just as you were comparing your girlfriend's asshole with Mother Teresa whistling for a sandwich. Goodness, I laughed. David Sedaris”