The Monolith Deathcult / Press

“If I had known these guys earlier, I would have used Trivmvirate as sound track for my Brüno movie”

Sacha Boran Cehon - Confessions of a Parallel Killer

“STRAIGHT OUTTA KAMPEN - Crazy 30-somethings called DEATHCULT!!”

Ice Dodecahedron - South Central Theoretical Mathematics & Automatic Rifle Journal

“Trivmvirate has redefined Western Civilization, plain and simple. CD of the year 2008!!!”

Azamat Bagatov - Which? Dictator Magazine

“The Second Coming. A second helping of a brutal dish, with a side order of ferocity and sprinkled with roasted chips of musical genious. Animals were harmed in the recording of this album.”

Karin Slaughter - PETA magazine review of The White Crematorium

“I wouldn't be surprised if The Monolith Deathcult are to blame for climate change. I can already picture them shooting that poor polar bear from his one remaining iceberg.”

Al Gore - How CO2 Made Me A Rich Man

“Fierce, savage, fast and naughty with a hint of strawberry cupcakes and W. Somerset Maugham sipping gin pahits. Perfect for scaring away your inlaws at dreary parties. Not suitable for children...”

Raymond Luxury-Yacht - Poststructuralist vs. Leavisite Quarterly: Album Reviews

“A pastiche of left-wing cant, fawning references, grandiose quotations, and outright nonsense (...) structured around the silliest lyrics they could invent about history and war.”

Adge Cutler - Metaphysics in Blastbeats Magazine

“I think we can solve two problems in one go by using The Monolith Deathcult band members to plug the holes in our Fukushima reactors.”

Takashi Kurita - Tokyo Nuclear Power Plant Fanzine

“I pray to God that He will smite The Monolith Deathcult.”

Richard Dawkins - How my life went to hell in a handbag (autobiography)

“An unimaginable insult to all mammals.”

Charles Darwin - The Origin of Species

“This musical diarrhoea makes suicide a viable option. A phone book has more coherence.”

Clarice Colonoscopee - Metal Mail on Sunday

“Bloated, pompous, absolute garbage.... makes a baboon seem lucid and coherent. If you think mankind has evolved, think again.”

Wendy Wankery - The Spectator

“Listening to The Monolith Deathcult is like staring into Satan's unwiped cloaca while velociraptors are gangraping your ears. Avoid at all cost.”

Steve Rimjobber - Satanic Metal & Gardening Lifestyle

“Yes, their dumb ugliness sometimes has depths of expression, like an imbecile’s face. But let's face it - 400 years after the abominable slave trade, the Dutch have finally found a way to push another atrocity unto mankind.”

L.B. Johnson - Revisionism Review & Death Metal Sampler

“Their snobbish behaviour, catastrophic cacophonies and complete disrespect for the genre and scene makes eternal damnation in hell seem like a stroll in the park.”

Timmy - Goldman Sachs Financial Report 2009

“The Monolith Deathcult are a vile assault on the fundamental canons of musical taste and art in general.”

M. Manners - Snobs Weekly

“Trivmvirate is a monument of boredom and unimaginativeness... about as funny as a kick in the head. Lord, take me now.”

Pope John Paul II - Vatican Music Observer

“...Appallingly irritating....unintelligible gibberish.... Trivmvirate is the produce of decades of mental degeneration… This band makes me pray for death.”

Vladimir Blashyrkyev - Metal Crowbar (Kazakhstan)

“I do not claim to be a music critic, but I know dirt when I smell it, and here is dirt in heaps — festering, putrid heaps which smell to high Heaven.”

Hank Williams - Times Death Metal Supplement

“There are disappointments which wring us, and there are those which inflict a wound whose mark we bear to our graves. Trivmvirate will be registered as a permanent loss of happiness...”

John E. Johnson - Metal Hammer of Tasmania