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Chan D / Blog

Expressing Anger

Can't even use normal words on a verse, without fear for causing some kind of war. without some crack whore dead beat slut, trying nothing much but to stir shit up and blow every motherfucking word that I say outta proportion. I couldn't even write a story or not, whether I had a plot or not, just cos I may say.."she's annorexic, she's too slim, she needs to eat!" Shit I can't even begin to use the word Dr on a verse in a rhyme, whatever context I mean it in at the time, shit, I wouldn't even make it to the Hospital in time! Endless obstacles in the way, not so cool to rhyme and all of a sudden everyone's lost it! For fuck sake, quit dick riding bitch, I didn't even get to finish off my sentence to mention that they don't get paid enough, so shut the fuck up and pay attention! It's not even funny no more, you can't even use every day words from your jaws, without people flapping theirs, twisting shit till it gets distorted, just like the press writing a story. Is it any wonder what I think is fucking gory?!

Would you be impressed, when these males wear the dress that I'm supposed to supposedly?! Dressing up their issues, like I even chose to be here in the first fucking place; never mind a girl, and of course, that won't do. It's that bad for fuck sake, I can't even say the word "shady", without some fucking tado, like it's some kinda hidden fucking taboo. I've always used the word since way back in my youth as a euphonism for whatever I've felt. I've always said "life's shady, along with everyone else in it", no maybe's about it. Hell it's just a word used for expression. Sick of getting accused by a bunch of jealous cunts, tryn-a question some kind of method, that I don't even have, let alone what I'm supposed to be saying. Every word sailing out my mouths getting twisted on the low, just to cause friction yo, like this games rigged bitch. No doubt, I ain't naming names for shit, It ain't like that, so before you try running your mouth, to state that this tracks some crappy ass claim to fame or calling motherfuckers out for any fucking reason, you better make sure whatever the season, your aims correctly aligned, tight and damn right.

Bars

My freestyles are crap, I don't even know how to rap. This is half assed shit with no fire or caps. Feel ired, calm but yet wired, fuck promotions and flyers, demote it all, promote riots. Some bitches need showing the fire like funeral pyres. Some might say just the usual style, riled feel sick could give a fuck if I bring up bile when I attack the Mic, like it was my life! I ain't made no money from Rap no, that's got fuck all to do with not having an ill flow or having no skills to actually show. I live for the love of it and the Music, while on the subject, to care less if I get paid. I love it that much, I do it for free. See I had pads of shit scribbled with scrawl, just some more bullshit about my life, ain't nothing at all. I can do better than that, and that shit is just rubbish, rather make beats to blow up your subs harder than fathers that beat up your mums, so you can thumb through whatever shit that you wish and take a good look at Raps so attacking, that they never even needed no backing, demons fought daily, no asking, most ain't even sharks and if they are, they're just basking. Try going deeper to the ocean floor, where there's batcteria that dwells and just swells and spreads like the rate of hate in such a majority coleny fucked up debate. It's constant, non stop hypocrisy And what happens to these kids just bothers me, honestly. I can't stress just how much my heart goes out to them. To try to guess the maths on how many have died in the time it's taken me already to write this rhyme, is more than to stress, how the fuck wouldn't any of this shit alone make anybody depressed? Real statistics being realistic, is one every three seconds, so reckon it up, that's at least 40 already, now that's more what I'd call heavy!

Fate (Continued

Somebody's fate maybe to see bad shit happen in the dreams, then it deems to be doomed to come true in real life, like it's another twist of the knife. You can bet your life that there will be some that do. You're not them, how can you say what's true? Would it be true to say that some don't have a clue what their fate is? Is this because somebody else knows it? It's really hard to talk about something this deep, for people to really get the gist as I flow this. It's not the way that the pictures painted, cos others try to paint others and in no way is even related. I'm kinda more with the real on the diction, rather than fiction, cos I'm a realist, so it ain't much my way and I guess being honest and true in what I say, tends to cause a lot of friction. Maybe it's a part of my fate, that I gotta state my heart, soul and mind, find that it gets a bit out of hand, when the others not aligned correct with the Chakra, but I ain't no actor.

Some may have Mothers and Fathers that hate them, instead of love them. And it's a kids fate, to get up and state "fuck the world", whether they a boy or a girl. Maybe it's somebody elses to know nothing but fighting Demons, non stop, constant, like the guns that pop. Feeling nothing but drained of their feelings, but whatever shit it is that you're dealing with, I just hope that you all get freed of it. Just gotta hope that its not your fate to be greedy, cos that shit gets you fucked from all angles, when its like the needy, feeding the needy along with the greedy. Some only ever know a fate to survive. To do that, it's imperative to battle your whole life. Better live, but it's hard to know how when you merely exist. And to live is to know the pain, which for some, there is no gain, but then again, maybe that is just another persons fate.

So when you read this my mate from the US, this is what I eventually came up with. I only drafted a few rough words at the time and left it for a long while as I was busy on other things etc. But as I am really poorly, doing nothing, I thought that I would finally finish the crafting on it. Although, I didn't actually flow this nor speak it. It was all in my minds eye if you like. Anyway, there you go, something on fate, although I'm not sure it's good enough at a rate.

Fate

I just got asked by a mate from US to write on the topic fate..To be honest, I ain't quite sure how to drop it..not because I'm about to quit on it, or cop out..just that, it's one huge wide thing to talk about.. Fates one of those things, that some can change and others can't..for some it ain't really gonna be grand, no matter how hard they try and make it so..So you see, in a sense for us all, in one way, it's gonna be the same..like one day, we're all going to die, be carted off in a hearse, or maybe not for some, just worse, they won't even get the funeral or the usual. .Give me any topic and I will get on it..I won't fall nor stawl..I don't say the shit I say to be cool..I say what I say cos it's real, do you feel? Some of the realist shit never gets recorded on the real, to the reel and maybe that's just a part of fate to say that it's the proof, in the truth that whatever you're spitting, regardless of a Mic, that you didn't need to record it in the first place, cos you could still do that shit again and ace it. Somebody elses fate, might be to take a load of pills, get wasted and die. Why try to hide the real facts of life? Which is what fate is about, no doubt.

It might be another persons fate to for see some parts of their own future, long enough to be able to redirect it, to save their own life and another's. Sisters and Brothers, just because you ain't ever experienced it, doesn't make it not somebody's elses fate, or make them necessarily fake. What if it's your fate to keep coming back to hell, burning, never learning? Keep the tables turning.

It could be fate that I wrote these words in the first place. Whose to say that it ain't? Who can choose their fate? Maybe you can, and if you can that's great, but lets try to debate for a moment, it's not something that cut and dry. Why do we humans often try to make it so? So we can try to find some kind of peace for the closure. But lets try to think of the facts, because for some, that's never the case, it will stay the same regardless, and it's just never over. You state that you can change your fate, perhaps it was your fate alone to state that to an audience, not that I'm saying it's fraudulent; but we are oh so very different, along with the circumstances, so it's circumstantial, that some cannot further handle, whatever they battle against daily. Like it's their fate, at a rate, to deal with all, like it was their fate to just fall, like it's just sealed, and no matter what they say or do on the real, it's never going to change, nor heal. Whose to say that everybody's fate should even be revealed? We all take things to the grave with us, keep them concealed. .

Break Me Down ft Gee

Verse One

I know the real reason behind why you wear those shades. They're to disguise that agonizing pain in your eyes. You'll soon realize when reality hits home and raps you on the head G. Why do you pretend? When will the falsehoods end? I bet when you go home at night you're crying, cos inside, you're practically dying. For the reason, that you're living a lie, in front of the people that you think are your friends. You say that I'm your enemy, but your enemies are your best friends, in the end, so I'm told. Rolling a smoke. If that's the case, why are you clashing me back to back? Understand, whatever goes down, I've always got your back, no matter what you think, that's fact. But..

Chorus

You will never break me down. You can pop me if you want to. But you'll have to turn around, everyday, look at your ass in the mirror. Live with yourself and the fact everyday, that your souls a snake and you'll have to wear that fake smile along with those eyes upon your face.

Verse Two

It's twisted, it ain't actually where you're from. it's where you're at. I just hope that one day you can look further than the end of your nose and see, that the more that you fake...so grows the pile of bullshit, that surrounds and rises up past your armpits, over your head. You try to swim, but you're left sinking, then drowning in it. Cos like the planet, it's always rotating, too much hating. Too much faking. It don't stop spinning. It's hard to think about the winning, when we're just trying to survive, another day, soldiering on, striding onward, to carry on living, for just one more day. . but.

Chorus

You, you will never break me down. You can pop me if you want to. But you'll have to turn around everyday, look at your ass in the mirror. Live with yourself and the fact everyday that your souls a snake and you'll have to wear that fake smile along with those eyes upon your face.

Cos like the planet it's always rotating, too much hating, so much faking, it don't stop spinning, it's hard to think about the winning, when we're just trying to survive, soldiering on, striding onward, to carry on living, for just one more day.......

Gee's Verse.........

YO FIRED UP

I'm from the Ghetto where Niggas get shot. You don't want beef, don't snitch shut your mouth. Don't be a snitch, be a woman make them house. Wanna clash me? OK spit those bars now. Now blood your bars is crap. Don't be here cos you ain't making no cash Speak them bars so raw, I'm pro, Speak them bars so cold, I'm cold. Back on the Mic Dizzy Rascal. Don't try me, cos I'm grimy. Back on the grime scene with a new flow. Everyday I'm hustling. Everyday I'm dogging. Getting paid I'm hustling. Every day, I'm high, high, high. ..RAAHHHH

(What I spit under Gees verse this time)

Get shot...I don't snitch, shut your mouth. . Don't snitch..make them house? Nah!...Clash me, spit those bars now!..now blood your bars is crap!! Don't be here cos them bars are whack!! Don't be here cos you ain't making no cash!!! Yeah I speak them bars so raw, I'm pro! Yeah I speak them bars so cold, I'm cold. On the Mic like Dizzy Rascal! Try me..cos I am grimy! He's back on the grime scene with a new flow! I'm hustling.. Every day he's dogging. Getting paid, hustling. Every day, your high, high, high!!! But..

Chorus:

You, you will never break me down. You can pop me if you want to. But you'll have to turn around, everyday, look at your ass in the mirror. Live with yourself and the fact, everyday, that your souls a snake and you'll have to wear that fake smile along with those eyes upon your face.

Outro

Cos I'm a warrior...(echox4) You will Never break me down (echox4) Soldiering on (echox4) Holding my head up high(echo x4) cos you will never break me down(echo x4) cos I'm a warrior(echox4) Soldiering on(echox4) Yeah(echox4)

Reach (Razor and Khi's verses)

(Razors Verse)

Why are we living a lie? Getting held back, the more we try. Believe everything we're told, human clones being bought and sold, so hot in hell, but why do I feel so cold? Lyrical bliss is when I flow yo. Why do we reject religion? I see a spiritual vision, not the devilist's vision, it's an evil incision, make a decision on what's life's mission. Why do we choose to travel on runes? When we die, get modified and buried in Egyptian tombs. Formed in my mothers womb, white snakes, rise up, hypnotized when I play the Flute. Cos the stars are like with the tune, wake up when you hear the bass boom. It's the sharpest tool. Now Chan D, take these boys to school.

(Khi's Verse)

What's brighter days? Finally getting paid. Getting a true one and **** to bust one raid. Flying out to yard in Spain on a bum plane, watching are CD sales hit number one game, without harassment. Chilling and blazing, or living in a flat that's quarter past freezing, moving to a country where there's no racism. Once I beat that level to discrimination, meet a bum gal, saying later to my friends there. Cos half of them is drugged up and full of whiz suggestions. Institutions, with the personal questions. Going round and round in circles, you only need educating. Sometimes I think "trust" (fuck them) it's them traitors that have put me in the care system. So I party, trick and blaze, staring at Strangeways, tagging real spirit, recording, thinking of brighter days. Trust, that's how it is, you get me.

Reach (my strongest verse)

Stop staring at my jugs, open up your lugs, you gotta rise above a lot of bugs out there. You know have to be alert and aware when you're pacing the street. Like anyone I love a good beat, but when you taking a seat, think back for a bit, real spit ain't all about the beats. If I could I would turn the hate into love in a heartbeat, flow deep, pen my dreams on the reams, while the haters roles fall apart at the seams.

Just Got To Let You People Know.

(Sang)

I just gotta let you people know, that when you're feeling all alone and stuck in the zone ,and feel that nobody gives a fuck for your well being, they do, know this all too well for myself. Just be aware that someone out there cares for you. Just gotta let you know, I just gotta let you people know.

(Rapped)

There's always somebody that gives a fuck for your well being, even if you don't believe it's true. And in among the grieving, still achieving, to hold the world upon their shoulders. It's the heaviest boulder to hold onto, like a ten ton weight of gold, and truth be told, hearts made from the same property. A lot of guys out there trying to make girls their property, but I ain't really down with that kind of shit honestly. Gotta be free, see my dreams like Martin Luther's for a freer kind of future. So hold your hands up high to the sky freedom fighters. Let's unite to fight for what is right and for our rights. Yet we are writers and there's only so much we can say at the end of the day. I'm down with one of the best, Malcolm X, what benefits humanity as a whole is what I feel is for the best. And it's my goal to let you people know in this test, before I rest, there's always somebody out there that gives a fuck for what is laying in your chest, so don't stress, I love you all yeah, so God bless.

(Sang) I just gotta let you know, that when you're feeling all alone and stuck in the zone and feel that nobody gives a fuck for your well being they do, know this all too well for myself. Just be aware that someone out there cares for you. Just gotta let you know, I Just gotta let you people know.

Just Don't Know (Just wanna be close to you)

Intro

8 Bars, piano chorus melody

Verse One

How can you say that you love me, when you don't know me? Then you change your mind, giving attitude all the time. Why don't you show that...

Chorus

You just want to be close now with me? Gotta be much closer to you (don't you know) That words don't mean a thing now anymore? I'll just be much closer to you (you don't know me)

Verse Two

You chose to believe everything you heard about me. Never asking once, why would I believe when you said that...

Chorus

You want to be close now with me? Gotta be much closer to you (don't you know) That words don't mean a thing now anymore? I'll just be much closer to you (you don't know me)

Middle Eight

They don't know me and you don't know me They don't know me You can't know when

Verse Three

Too many people keep talking non stop contradictions. It's not the words that we need. It's actions that prove the meaning that...

Chorus

You wanna be close now with me.. Gotta be much closer to you (don't you know) that words don't mean a thing now anymore? I'll just be much closer to you (how can you say) You just wanna be close now with me? Gotta be much closer to you (don't you know) that words don't mean a thing now anymore? Gotta be much closer to you (you don't know me)

Freedom

No such thing as freedom for anybody. Only in a moment of bliss, and that's about it. You think all these celebrities are free? Course they ain't, they're just as trapped as you and me are in the hood right now, which I'm sick of hearing is all good, when it's really not and far from the case. And as I pace, back and forth and ponder, I wonder what difference anything makes in the end. And what a lot of fake Rappers say for the trend, sends me barmier by the minute, being free, is nothing but a dream we've had since way back when. We're all slaves, men, women, kids, shit its just a means to an end. None of us sane, no such thing as sanity, that's why we practically search for it, same with the normal, but there's none to be found, even when it seems like there is in the formal, for the reason being, yours to his to hers to mine is very different I think you'll find. Fuck whatever society wants me to be, my priority is to remain me, because the biggest battle we face in this life is to be yourself, if we were a bit more, maybe we'd be a bit freer. Let me try get this clearer, we're all one of a kind and unique, we all should have the chance to have the freedom of speech, which many peeps say they believe in on the debate but prove whatever they state in public or the low low that they really don't across the whole board and it's just in selective., why I have to recollect my retrospective, so I can spit this shit 100% in perspective, like a sniper, got to make incisions through your lines like a surgeon, cos real life (rap), is the reason why people's hurting. Just like that, we all need saving, don't matter if you're male or female, all semantics as I craft the detail, I ain't saying that I'm super woman, but sometimes it feels like I should be. I ain't saying that I'm hard, but it's hard to hold the world on your shoulders 24/7, it's the heaviest boulder to hold onto, regardless of gender, even for Hercules it pretty much takes up all his strength, like what the fuck!? You want me to murk these MC's like it's breakfast before lunch when it's not even the strongest part of my art? Not that it would be hard to murk them when the majority talk nothing much but junk, not even like I'd have to be an MC to beat them! and that's kinda the point as I'm reeling. and more to it, I'm more than that by a million miles, I practically compose any Musical style, don't do it to be cool or to impress, and I stress that sticking to one genre, wouldn't be me being true to myself, which I put before any amount of wealth I could ever make from this. You can kiss my ass, just like the past! The very thing that can make you feel free, makes you turn into a slave, whether you make money or not in the trade, days and nights of nothing but blood, sweat, tears, hearse after hearse and pure sacrifice. You've never seen the amount I've put into this right. Ain't nothing funny, slavery's never ended. A lotta people, what they do spit, is kinda the truth..but it's bended. Freedoms a dream we all fight for to come into existence; like ourselves, but for some reason, there's a resistance.