Once upon a time I used to care what ppl thought of me, especially my parents! When I became a young adult I was always picky wiTh what I allowed my parents to know about me. I still let them think I was the same kid they raised that was sheltered from the outside world, went to & from work and no social life. It wasn't til I became pregnant that I start to realize I needed to truly find ME. I was in a bad relationship which at 1st I hid from my parents, but then I think that's when my "fuck it switch" came on. Lol I realized this is my life and no matter who you are, u can't dictate the choices someone else makes or force them to do what u want them to do. Now doNt get me wrong I would never disrespect my parents, but I did have to stand up for myself and nip it in the bud b4 my son came. I said all that to say this... now that I live my dream of being a recording artist, it doesn't mean the ppl closet to me support what I do. Its the complete opposite in fact. My mom frequently tries to talk me out if it even though she's never been to a show or barely even heard any if my music. My dad will listen if I'm talking about or working with an artist he's heard of b4. And my sister ....smdh I don't even want to go there!! Now some of my cousins support me to a certain extent but nobody is just really ride or die spreading the word about Ms.Kash. My drive throughout my whole music career has come from believing in myself, my fans, & most importantly God. A lot of ppl talk and criticize what I do, but they don't understand my passion for music. I've work many jobs, damn good jobs but I was always left incomplete at the end of the day. You can't please everybody is what I always say, & theres only one that we should be concerned with pleasing anyway. I'm happier in my life than I've ever been, and its because I DO ME!
So I've been pretty bothered by racism a lot lately. Since I've moved to Washington, I noticed that things are way different from Oakland in so many ways. It seems like a lot of ppl here live under a rock or something bcuz they are so out of touch with reality. In the work place I gotta deal with jokes that really ain't fuking funny, they are offensive...but what do u do if ur a single parent an u gotta feed ur kids the best way u know how without having to do sum otHa shit? Last week I was pissed bcuz I was at work, downstairs in the basement organizing sum stuff during lunch while everyone else was eating and my supervisor (white dude) came down in the elevator (still chewing food) and asked if I could come upstairs to talk with some clients and explain our policies? 1st I'm thinking...its lunch time, why did you come way down here to get me when there's 3 other employees sitting with u at the table? 2nd I'm thinking OK this is weird then I had that funny feeling in my stomach like something wasn't right. I get upstairs and he points to some Black ppl and says yea I just though maybe u could explain it a little bit better! WTF?????!!!?? That odd moment when u feel flames coming out of your ears and the hairs rising on the back of ur neck... omfg! Then I had to remain professional bcuz these ppl have no clue of what just happened. So I smile, talk to them as I would with any client then I go back to the basement and start praying. I prayed for strength bcuz the Hood in me wanted to tell that MF how I really felt, but my logical ass always gotta think b4 I speak... (which is a pain in my own ass sometimes). It was a Friday so I finished my shift and went home without saying anything. I still haven't brought it up this week bcuz I'm researching how to go about reporting that incident and several other incidents as well. Now yesterday I'm on my way to work and this guy cuts me off as I'm driving, then we both got stuck at a red light.. I'm thinking this asshole made me miss the light lol. Then I look at the back of his car while waiting for the light to change and he has that fucking "Don't Re-Nig 2012" bumper sticker!! (_) Omfg!!! I was effn furious! The light changed, I hopped on the freeway and had an attitude all damn day. Smh I was thinking damn I shoulda rammed into the back of his ass! Now today I seen a whole big deal about the bumper sticker online today and at 1st I was thinking oh its just Washington ...now I'm even more upset to find out that shits everywhere! I mean damn, c'mon ppl its fuking 2012! U MFs still on sum racists sHit? A d don't try an say "oh I'm just against Obama being re-elected!" BULLSHIT!! u know exactly what type of subliminal message u sending with that punk ass bumper sticker GTFOH! I been really ticked off by a lot of shit so I'm just trying to hold my peace cuZ if I go off...man o man smh. I come from one of the most diverse cities in the world....home of the Black Panthers...I don't play that shit I work too hard to be still having to fight for equality. That's all for tonight, I really gotta stay prayed up cuZ i have a bad feeling this election stuff is only gonna get uglier. I am not a happy camper 2nite :(
I cAn hOnEstLy sAy, sOmeTiMes tHiS muSic sHiT aiNt eVeN fUn nO mOrE! THeRes sO muCh buLLsHiT u gOttA toLeRaTe An iF u aiNt cArEfuL iT wiLL bLoCk uR cReaTivity. EsPeciALLy beiNg a wOmAn theSe duDes bE cOcK bLoCkiNg LiKe a MF! BuT tHeY aLwAyS aSkiNg Me tO bE a 1st Lady of tHeiR wAcK aSs moVemEnT...fOr wHat?? My naMe sPeAkS voLuMe sO uNLeSs u puTtiNg mOneY iNtO wHat I've eStabLisHeD oN mY oWn, wHy wouLd I sEt aSiDe aLL I've woRkeD for? AnD doNt get Me sTartEd oN tHeSe rAp bRoaDs... OMG! HigH PitChed aNnoyiNg aSs voiCes, fuCkiNg EvEry niGga in tHe iNduStrY tHat sAys tHey Will pUt eM oN oR giVe eM bEaTs/ sTudiO tiMe eTc. GoT tHeSe niGgaZ thiNkiNg tHey cAn coMe aT ReAL FeMaLe ARTISTS wiTh tHat buLLsHit! GTFOH! tHeN I gOt grown aSs mEn tHat biTe mY stYLe/ ADLiBs An sHiT, feMaLes sWaGga jAcKin waTcHiNg mY eVery fUckiN MoVe! UGh. FaKe aSs pRoMoteRs tALkiNg sHiT bUt aLwAys wAnT Me tO dO sHowS... jUsT heLLa sHit. I guesS tHis iS tHe "fAmoUs b4 fAmoUs" part oF the gAmE...sheEsh!
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