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William Mahler / Blog

$15 Billion USD In Stimulus Bill Aimed At Artists & Venues

‘We Saved the Music’: Amy Klobuchar on Getting $15 Billion for Venues Into Stimulus Bill “People embraced music and culture more and more,” says Minnesota senator. “But they were just alone doing it on their computers and their phones, and they want it back”

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/stimulus-amy-klobuchar-save-our-stages-bill-1106846/

Life As A Mental Patient

A near 26 page, 12,000+ worded readers digest biography detailing and highlighting my last twenty years in and out of the mental health care community is currently online for your reading pleasure.

http://mahlers.net/life-as-a-mental-health-patient.htm If it is of any reference, read this in it's entirety and then draw your media deluded conclusions about "reality"

https://dennis.wickedlocal.com/entertainmentlife/20181012/fantasy-meets-reality-in-books-by-cape-cod-author-janet-morris

Of which the online life and gainful employment with Janet & Chris, both of M2 Technologies Inc. and my ex-in-laws of whom for of other than 9-5 work I've had that started long before the internet summer 1984 would entirely be as dull as some limited attention spans make mental illness out to be.

I am going on record here publicly on a subject that touches the inner lives of millions of mentally ill people and the world in and out of the not mentally ill.

Regarding 09/11/01, after the once in a life time experience I had within the entire two month lead up to the day, capping off with a completely understandable if believed to be insanity of a conversation with all 19 terrorists going on in excess of ten straight hours the night before and well into dawn the day of, well.

Is it entirely possible that somewhere on this Earth, scientists work with a futuristic, literally from our future computer sent back to when a "UFO" landed here in America? Is it entirely possible that computer contains every minute detail as intricate or more than DNA itself about the entire future of the planet? Me thinks so. In fact, for those who tune into that stream of consciousness, as I know I have dozens of times lifetime, lastly being 09/10/01 - 09/11/01, it is entirely possible that my public and proven track record of for example being a complete human history before it happens dynamo of all things NFL, well, Hakim Clay and those at the circa 1999 - 2000 Cape Cod Works of Hyannis remember exactly each score and in depth pre week ahead analysis betting advice I freely gave. I capped it off at the last Pete Carrol led Patriots game vs. the Dolphins in Foxboro. The entire time, for days and nights, my computer was entirely online and I was as well as my wife were wide open to any information being broadcast in means that is the stuff of nowadays, reality yet forever known as futuristic science fiction. My ex-in-laws are sci-fi fantasy authors backed with a lifetime of being over their head deep involved with the Kennedy community and JFK's Cuban Missile Nuclear crisis ensemble of CIA advisors on down to Janet’s father being head of Massachusetts Civil Defense at the height of the cold war, within less than 1/2 hour walking distance from the Kennedy Compound. It's been the absolute education of a life time short of actually attending a "university". - Combined with as I see as a cover of mental illness, it's been a one arm behind my back challenge to say the least.

By now, you are probably bored and loaded with my emails.

the unedited ever growing 14,000+ word “Life Of A Cape Cod Mental Health Patient” is entirely online at https://mahlers.net

I most humbly request you do read that.

William Mahler

Life As A Mental patient Part 05

Family, if they inwardly believed I am not mentally ill, to this very day, it’s their best kept secret. Despite any reasonable, common sense approach to conversations with clinicians as to the open possibility of not being mentally ill, to this day have always fallen, with exception to Judge Joseph Reardon, largely into totally dismissive professionals. If you ask me, only the Jews of World War II suffered a worse fate. It’s on record that mental health care and the core of psychiatry here in America is broadly based on the same principles, beliefs and findings of Nazi era psychiatrists. Is there one physician of the body who would without warning a patient of life shortening drugs actually prescribe the drugs? Sure there are, but to the best of my knowledge, other than mental health based anti-depressants and anti-psychotics, known to largely take 15 years or more from a persons lifespan, nothing else comes anywhere close to that. My mother says that her drugs for cancer left her brow less and bald but she knows that isn’t a life shortening situation and her hair is fully grown now while I’m less of 15 years of my life due to an largely on and often not off again 20 year enemy of me lifestyle and regiment of mental health drugs. My online life and off line life, with the exception of music remained by far, totally separate. With years of vocally in person speaking positively of non-lethal technologies to my family, not once have they so much as hinted at anything more than listening with a near ignore me attitude. The only concern of theirs as family if anything can have is my well being and it’s been primarily “take your meds or we wont allow you to visit your nephew or niece, won’t talk to you at all” from two of my brothers while a third, at least he is always friendly and genuinely supportive of me while making no demands. Can you imagine a conversation with a U. S. Armed Services Veteran, life long adult service in law enforcement brother with two children also police, a sister in law valedictorian attorney and me, the black sheep of the family regarding health care? Believe me prior to diagnosis we used to talk but since then, there’s been utter silence with a rare occasion critical juncture conversation about the immediacy of our parents health. Despite always asking my mother how my brother Tommy is, I’m stonewalled with week later news and little more than “he’s fine”. If Tommy is anything like I remember him to be, when he and his wife Julie do email or call, they are very informative but I know nothing.

Life As A Mental Patient Part 06

Over the years, I got into trouble and to that I can to this day rationalize the bad times, never being an instigator and making honest mistakes. For instance, interviewing a court officer and recording the conversation with an open microphone exposed and known to the court, just not with the officers permission, thus wiretapping and two years of probation and court ordered psychiatric care. Then, my brother (RIP) and his drug fueled abusive ways took advantage of my Achilles heel while he never fully knew how drugs affected me outside what I told him, like a borderline idiot, I believed he as well as my father and mother would take my side and leave me be. I felt better for being open but paid a price due to their “child with a loaded pistol” mentality. My personal life got totally weighted with the day in day out routine of “don’t need it, not mentally ill and the drugs are causing the problem” belief that to this day, for the most part I adhere too. Am I mentally ill? There is no room for doubt the twenty years of stress and lack of support until I found Mind Freedom & Mad In America has taken its mental toll. Other than the new to me “Dance In The Rain” of Cape Cod where I’m from, there is not one provider in any capacity that adheres to anything holistic in mental health care whatsoever. 90 miles of land and not one provider in any capacity. Truly, the internet is in my reach reality and amen to that. As for the diagnosis that got changed to Schizoaffective Bipolar type? It originally started and came from being in the same doctor’s office with my business partners and aunt and uncle in-laws along with my wife, a psychologists office. I truly thought the doctor was speaking of me when he said “don’t talk to him unless he gets help for his schizophrenia” but little did I realize that new to me psychologist was talking of my in-law. Is that a sign of my alleged mental illness or a logical mistake of an assumption considering everyone in the room was entirely in the know of my life. My mother shows outwardly a barely perceptible smile in her voice, always quick to raise her voice, tell me “enough” or “I don’t want to hear it”, “that’s not funny” or “I’m gonna hang up on you if you don’t stop it” and I’ve come to realize that is a core component to how I approach mental health professionals here in the Worcester Recovery Center. As for my father, he finally seemingly has agreed and understands now that I am his son and thankful for that. He is on the record for saying no one should have to legally forced to take a drug that causes diabetes type two yet he also says “you need your medicine”. My Mr. Miyagi version of best friend Richard always is quick to state “if you go off your medicine, you’re going to end back in jail and in the hospital”, “everyone can see when you are not on your medicine” and it’s been the same way despite proving to him for instance, my then in-law possessed federally backed listening capabilities you know as eavesdropping as far back as pre-2000.

Life As A Mental Patient Part 07

In Richards office, there sat the two of us. Also, a landline phone and a disconnected, powered off Compaq desktop PC with only the electric cord and a phone line from the internal dial-up modem connected externally. We both head Chris Morris speak through the monitor speaker and only Richard smiled and asked pointing at the monitor “did you hear that”? He at the least especially since an October 12, 2018 public interview both in print and online of Janet & Chris Morris vast involvement in non-lethal technologies with reference to the United States Global Strategy Council and their employer Deputy Director of The CIA Ray S. Cline mentioned, well, Richard went on to state “don’t mess with those two” as if he thought I needed advice. The reality is he finally with his own intelligent two eyes, believed everything I ever told him but to this day, does not consider me more than mentally ill with very little chance of a life beyond it. How do I tell a mental health professional, I’ve been involved with the intelligence community as a private consultant since age sixteen and have been totally engrossed in pre-September 11, 2001 behavior with my CIA trained in-laws without being totally drugged up and labeled as a threat to myself for having delusional beliefs that I am a government agent? Maybe I should take the chance considering that diagnosis has been largely going on for twenty years without a hint of my professional life spoken to anyone in health care since 2011. If anything, I dare say, it’s time to step away from the acting stage and let them know exactly who I am and my beliefs of the system, my mental health and make it entirely public. Not any of my landscaping, restaurateur employers and in person face to face musician friends and people outside of my immediate core family know anything. The LGBTQ community has had severe public reaction to them coming out but over time, acceptance is more common place so the press says. But for me and the mental health community? The psychiatrists themselves will go to their graves never seeing me more than a mentally ill person with zero chance at anything close to a normal life without constant daily medical intervention both in and out of an institutional setting. Yet, my silence is only furthering their diagnosis. On September 11, 2001, I faced Judge Joe Reardon in a near empty court as I was sent to Corrigan State Hospital for a week citing non compliance of health care despite no court order previously. Had I chosen to stay at home that day, life would have been dramatically different but strong headed me sought ways to have my record expunged on the very worst day of American history even with my overnight one on one conversation with all 19 terrorists well into dawn that day for the most part totally forgotten and non-existent in my mind while at the court. To that you’re wondering perhaps “what did I just read”? You read that right. I’d have made it out of that court house but if not for my idiot comment volunteered without a hint of question from a former probation officer about not taking meds. Did I really pose such a threat to anyone by bringing the subject up? Only to myself I now know. One week after September 11, 2001, I walked out of Corrigan State Hospital knowing my only week-long roommate was a living breathing version of how God is perceived to look like in almost every Bible. Tall, elderly with long white hair, beard and mustache and simple robes complete with sandals. That experience was solely the only time I felt good about my unwarranted situation in a hospital. I’m telling you now, I have zero doubt God and I spent private exclusive one on one time alone in the same room nightly for seven full days and six full nights.

Life As A Mental Patient Part 08

The health care on Cape Cod is atrocious, bordering on illegal practices involving pornography, enslavement and law enforcement that in my case, will outright slander, create false police reports just to get that “patient’ off the streets. It worked, I was charged with two assault and batteries and a bomb threat. For a couple of years, I sat in Bridgewater State Hospital unable to react other than a talk or two with my less than informative defense attorney. At the time of my arrest, I was neck deep in private undercover investigations aimed at removing a terrible scourge from my immediate neighborhood, ISIS in America and heroin, literally in the home I rented a room in. My ex-in-laws Janet & Chris Morris stood by in the know and their business M2 Technologies Inc. was formed with as a psychiatrist would believe and say “paranoid schizophrenic delusions of the government” yet for a fact, Ray S. Cline, head of the United States Global Strategy Council and longtime direct assistant to President John F. Kennedy during the Cuban Island nuclear missile crisis, deputy director of the Central Intelligence Agency hired my in-laws from 1989 – 1994 as senior research director and senior fellow of the USGSC. I personally can attest to my partners prowess in non-lethal matters in of all things, being authors. During the month of July of 1984, both Janet & Chris Morris and I shared our thoughts on their book “The 40 Minute War”, publicly released in August 1984. Twenty Saudi Arabian & Pakistani terrorists hijack a passenger jet and trash Washington DC, a complete futuristic sixteen year in advance September 11, 2001 bullseye and probably the only to exist that I’m aware of at this writing. Over the span of 5 years during the early nineteen nineties, my boss, also my in-law and her husband traveled to Russia and as a non-lethal technology strategist duo helped arm our military and law enforcement with non-lethal tools including, infrasound, digital and psychological weaponry. The ability to put sound squarely in the head of an assailant that no other living person can hear has existed since the 90’s and the Russians had it first. Nowadays, that capability is sold nationwide in of all areas, entertainment. To hear a show without headphones and no one else but that person unless the device is programmed for others actually exists and cheap too. This also lays credibility to the idea that the government can make voices heard plain and simple. To this day, I’ve never knowingly talked with a mental health professional in person, face to face about this other than a CISW “Dave” of whom did believe me as we jammed on stage performing blues classics in Hyannis. He’s the same CISW that got my diagnosis changed from “paranoid schizophrenic” to “schizoaffective, bipolar type” and unfairly I still to this day feel slighted by societies “media darling” psychiatric community.

Life As A Mental Patient Part 09

At least since 2017 my family listens to me seriously pull no punches about the stark, raw reality of drugs and borderline inhumane behavior of the mental health care community at large. There is one other CISW by the name of Eric Larsen whom was with me before and after September 11, 2001 and he knows full well the depth of M2 Technologies Inc. and our business position in all things including a document known as “Weapons Of Mass Protection” online long before September 11, 2001 and that is one word away from “Weapons Of Mass Destruction” coined by then President George Bush. That era got the three of us thrust into an internet national spotlight, for over a decade, the leading national non-lethal consulting contractors and top three in the free world outside the USA. Whether you’’ll believe me or not, M2 Technologies Inc. got me a private audience twice with President Bush on my turf on Cape Cod. Once via phone in my home office and once at work in Dunkin’ Donuts, summer 2003. As a musician of precognitive works both prior to September 11, 2001 and the Christmas Day 2004 South East Asian tsunami, well that Christmas Day, our president asked me if nuclear weapons were involved at the site of the biggest quake this planet experienced since the day of the dinosaurs. “No sir there was not” was all I remember saying to him via the internet and technologies only someone on his level has to use. Our work got me a one on one private audience with fresh from the office of vice president, then citizen Joe Biden in downtown Hyannis, March 2017, a short walk from his favorite mode of transport, a train station. To that I say, not a soul around for as far as the eyes could see, just citizen Biden and myself. He is an extremely honest, gentle God-fearing man complete with a large sky-blue marble colored cross he wears around his neck. The two words we shared, is the word Joe used during his acceptance speech of the democratic nomination, “possibilities”. But for all intent purposes, I’m a “mentally ill” person with no foreseeable future other than the existence of “eat, sleep, take meds, work and pray” with little chance of economic freedom in the eyes of God knows how many people. To say to an extent, looking back, I never know fully exactly what to expect but when it happens, I manage to get out of it physically unscathed and equally so does other people, friend or foe.

Life As A Mental Patient Part 15

Each of the drugs, listed in a roger’s order, antipsychotics and related side effect drugs, when combined in any form, according to Drugs.Com have for me great potential for heart problems. My mother and her father each have had heart attacks, without mental health drugs. As for my father, I recently spoke with my DNA match father, and know nothing other than he is 79, near sighted, has prostate cancer and Parkinson’s disease. As for the man I call my father, Richard Mahler, it cannot be 100% ruled out we are not related but his mother and father both had heart problems. My father’s father had a heart attack. Of the drugs listed, least likely to have adverse effects, Latuda, was not chosen to be mixed with Geodon, rather Haldol and Geodon are prescribed now 2x daily. Previously as Geodon went up to 80mg’s from 60mg’s 2x daily. While taking Geodon 60Mg’s I had heart problems, out of sync, out of rhythm as if the beat was totally irregular for almost 45 minutes. Although told to the nurse of the unit I was in at Bridgewater State Hospital, no treatment took place. Both the head physician, Dr. Khan & my psychiatric nurse practitioner Erin Regan were made aware of my problem and to date, here at the Worcester Recovery Center, beginning day one in late August 2020, I’ve vocalized to two physicians and two psychiatrists about my experience with Geodon. No strenuous fast paced activity shall I permit myself, including sex with a female partner or anything beyond a simple game of catch or free throws on the court. I manage to keep up as a singer songwriter but leave no room to get fully absorbed in an all-out physical setting fully immersed in the highly active stage persona. I was never told despite up to date blood tests regularly at Bridgewater State Hospital that I became type 2 diabetic. Other than the obesity and high cholesterol that staff contributed to a lack of exercise and genetics, no reasonable word came from anyone to address the effects of anti-psychotics. Ever since I started the ungodly regiment back in 2000, I’ve always became a metformin for type 2 diabetes oral dosage taker. After 5 days here in the Worcester Recovery Center, I learned I am type 2 diabetic. My current psychiatrist, Rifat Sharif when asked if she’d prescribe anti-psychotics for her own flesh and blood if he or she became type 2 diabetic, her answer was emphatically without hesitation “yes I would”. Sharif did not take any of my history into account – yet regarding my current drug prescriptions. I’ve been to the official www.mass.gov website, have filed one complaint against the license of the psychiatrist and await until Monday for free advice from the proper channels to further a complaint against the social worker and psychiatrist. My attorney is the attorney in charge of the mental health litigation unit for all of the city of Worcester and its surrounding county. I’ve also got the backing of a independent clinical psychologist and a long documented track record / history of no threats of physical violence and literally no physical violence going back as far as 2011 when I was charged for assault and battery against 3 security guards of whom, without provocation, dared to place their hands on my peaceful self in a hospital, totally self-defense yet I pled no contest to assault and battery and did three years of confinement at Bridgewater State Hospital.

Life As A Mental Patient Part 16

90 days to serve, the rest for a year suspended but in Bridgewater, one slightest incident of any nature, including slapping a friends back got me stripped naked and placed into the Intensive Treatment Unit for hours to days on end. Anything other than admitting to mental illness and full med compliance without so much as a hint of displeasure got people like me stuck there within a volatile Department of Corrections staff that thought nothing of getting into fist fights and started many of their own, many times a week sometimes in my 22-person unit. At one point, a patient was murdered by way of suffocation by correctional officers in the ITU and due to that horrible incident, that by the grace of God changed with private prison – hospital caretakers in the form of Well Path Recovery Services taking over. To the best of my knowledge, even in the direst trying times, not one staff member was heard using expletives such as the f-bomb or the word “damn”, always professional and at times near family like between patients. Yet like any hospital, it was entirely their belief system, not democratic and no room for debate in the slightest means differing from their perspective. At one lengthy time during circa 2018? A part time television news station reporter of Boston25 was employed as a mental health worker whom spoke intimately with myself and other patients who were put at relative ease by her natural appeal as a person both mentally and physically. When world got to officials, she quietly slipped away and remains a reporter with the station. Reporter Litsa Pappas has received occasional email about life at Bridgewater from me as recent as late October of 2020. Other employees of Well Path have also been reporters for both CNN and Fox News, mainly part time and short lived as employees.

As for my creative life on and off the internet during this entire sordid mental health constant crisis, I’ve been steadily writing of previous achievements while trying to avoid what I consider to be a conflict of my personal best interests. Letting on to the powers that be know that I had been deemed mentally ill within the entertainment and intelligence world yet going on full steam ahead in accounting for every action held against me in public mental health support groups. Some of my childhood idols have clinical depression and one has even died of HIV/AIDS. I’ve worked exclusively with Queen & Paul Rodgers within their 2008 world wide release “The Cosmos Rocks” with unlisted writing credits for “Through The Night” and “We Believe”. While Queen & Paul Rodgers were in the writing stages of their 2008 full length release, my 1981 self-penned anthem “All Through The Night” became a gift and payment sent directly to Roger Taylor for all the unpaid digital music, bootleg audio and official releases I managed to obtain and do to this day. The song “We Believe” is a largely penned piece about life without war and non-lethality as a whole, also becoming an internationally performed single and European chart-topping song. Roger Taylor solo from his founding role in Queen as singer and drummer took the time to record his rendition of my self-authored, cryptic and descriptive melancholy, sad and somber pre-September 11, 2001 song “Prelude To September 11, 2001 – Leonda (I’m Coming Home)”. I’ve heard my song dissected publicly via a DJ and caller in on WMVY radio while driving on the mid Cape Cod highway shortly after September 11, 2001. Rogers version was played via satellite radio as my wife and I along with nearly a dozen locals ate at Friendly’s of Hyannis summer 2003 one early night.

Life As A Mental Patient Part 17

Bruce Springsteen from as far back as 2002 used large portions of a co-authored song of mine with a local musician known as the dark brooding prescient “No Highway” released shortly before the capture of two murderers shooting random people dead at gas stations sniper style throughout Virginia in fall 2002. Bruce clearly copied the guitar arrangement for his live 2008-2009 renditions of his title track “Magic” a song represented on the full-length release of the same massively popular name.. Indeed, the foundation for his song “Gypsy Biker” also upon “Magic” lies deeply in his cover of my song 2003 “Act Of Mercy” rumored to be included in his upcoming Tracks II release. Bruce Springsteen and his 2005 Grammy nominated song of the year “Devils & Dust” with its “tower two” harmonica solo is tightly based upon my co-authored with friend Audrey Lee Kelly, our song and my “tower one” harmonica solo within “Freedom” from September 19, 2001 captured live first and only performance, later released the same night worldwide with announcements in Bruce’s fanbase. In turn I’ve lovingly covered some of his most treasured songs such as “Thunder Road’, “Tenth Avenue Freeze Out”, “Reason To Believe” & “State Trooper”. The last dedicated to my step brother, niece and nephew all of whom work as law enforcement officers for the state and local police here in As for Bruce Springsteen and his cover of my song “Act Of Mercy”? Not only did he do a standup note for note rendition, he added instruments, described by fans as a combination of “Thunder Road’ & “Badlands” two of his most beloved pieces of music known worldwide. There is proof positive in my mind the photo also serving as an autograph Bruce signed stating “To Bill – Let’s Rock- Bruce Springsteen, spring of 1983 became what neither of us knew to be as an agreement for future work and it’s paid off in droves. Every single song of my 27 track digital release including two cover songs from Queen & Warren Zevon, recorded by me without a shadow of a doubt exist entirely with huge Springsteenian influence start to finish. The release is still buzzing with nearly unique individual yet sometimes repeatedly visited but in total, 3000 streams in less than six weeks since November 2020 even though it’s original debut in 2004 was made internationally public via the internet. A dedicated team of unknown musical allies locally and from afar including local radio and CD purveyors helped the success come to fruition and without the strong show of support, life would not be gratifyingly the same. If anything, the stark, raw one take finished songs of entirely first time ever performances took place over four years in a coffee house, the streets and public spaces of Hyannis and a home studio in the same small city with one final nod to a song recorded in South Yarmouth, Christmas Eve 2004. Through each note and attempt to create music, Leonda stood steadfastly supportive of my entirely with good sound quality advice always readily spoken of and taken into serious and often used consideration. She became the first model on the original cover of “W. K. Mahler” now known as “Outshining The Sun” available almost anywhere music is public online. So, I’m bragging, can you blame me, the outlet has always been relief and inspiration came all the time while deemed mentally ill and in some form of legal trouble.