Trichotillomania / Blog

What is there in apology?

If genuine: everything. I am saddened by people and their lack of ability to realize when they are simply being .. well, what is it to have one grown man ask another for an apology regarding ANYTHING...when the man who is asked to apologize can NEVER actuallly genuinely mean a damn thing they would say in said, requested apology. All of these things cancel each other out to the point where we are doing things for NO reason. The double entendre...There IS NO REASON in the compleat argument. To prompt, for whatever reason (it does not matter) an apology, with the motivation to do so inferred as nothing more than those, who could have made said arguments AT THE TIME, but did not. WHY? There ends up being only one reason (a persons' desire to speak will always overwhelm their desire to NOT engage someone in an argument/debate. The only remaining reason is lack of anything to say. Now, this being said; the whole thing begs the question: the pursuant party is acting like the traditional British nanny ANY nun. The image of a man taking another by the ear and dragging them as so many a stupid, prototypical story portrays. The fact that someone would ask for something instantaneouesly, LOGICALLY, SO INCREDIBLY USELESS has me flummoxed beyond belief....especially when my description of it has met with grand approval. I have no idea how someone would not see the EXTRAORDINARY disconnect in logic here.

I ask for an apology, knowing it will be totally disingenuous; and I plan to send it to more people who will all, also know it to be disingenuous. I can only ask: What does this accomplish? --Nick-Gerald Peterson

in a town where people don't know their neighbors

There are evangelical groups, around the country [the U.S.] because other nations know what it TRULY is to lack things). Knowledge is knowledge, information is information. If one considers said information to be spurious ...; then keep the fucking book as an example of that which is spurious! , I'll reiterate for the slow.. I HEREBY ISSUE A DECLARATION....I WILL, IF GIVEN THE CHANCE, BEAT YOU ASUNDER WITH MY FISTS AND FEET -OR- I'll simply put ~7 million volts of electricity through your book burning, body...I know it'll be enjoyable for you, you filthy pig-ignoramus anal cyst pulsating with your LOVE (HATE). I wish, dumbfuck, misfiring neuron-owning (Hell....IThe electricity if I zap them hard enough might finally balance their screwed up brain chemistry causing them to act like a member of the "normal" Human race) ignoramus,...Let me let you in on something you may not know: In case you didn't know: most people think you Evangelicals are insane. We laugh at you when you leave as you are totally flipped; you are the lost cause...the reason Christianity has developed a Stigma of its' very own: YOU asshole shoving it down EVERY throat....like it or not. Someone who desires to destroy knowledge does ONE thing...they bring us a tiny step closer to the end of civilization. I HAPPEN TO ENJOY Having books, electricity,and relative safety. Your retarded sectarianism will cause most of you to kill most of you. You are insane. If you don't believe what I say, as per severity...simply watch the documentary entitled, "Jesus Camp". If you are not disgusted....you have no Soul. To watch that film...to see a 300 pouund woman (who 5'5") scream at a child (under 10-years-old) about the necessity for "retraint" and moderation. How it is a sin to be a Glutton. The idiot-bitch barely had wiped the KFC gravy from her lips after downing sucking down a 12-piece and Mached potatoes witha quart of said drippings of fat that taste OH SO FUCKING GOOD.....but FUCK a fool who is THAT kind of Hypocrite. I hate the stupid.. Being of low intelligence is NOT the same thing, nor of course woulkd IGNORANCE. It distills to a few things: 1.Do not burn books (it is wrong, intrinsically; and has very shaky and screwed up echoes of the past...i.e. The Holocaust) which I am sure a decent amount of Evangelicals believe never occurred.. 2. Do not be a giant hypocrite (no pun on the 'giant' intended as per the fatass lecturing kids on "Gluttony" 3.Watch the documentary "Jesus Camp" and prepare to be disgusted and appalled 4.Buy our EP (it is way better-sounding in 320Kbps than the streaming version...trust me..and if you buy it and FWD you contact info...you'll some free merch....for the millionth fucking time. If you BOTHER TO SPEND 8 U.S. DOLLARS ON OUR FUCKING EP, YOU'LL GET FREE STUFF ALONG WITH A VERSION OF THE EP THAT SOUNDS SO FUCKING CLEAR YOU CAN HEAR THE CRACKLE OF MY JOINT BURNING...(literally...you can...our microphones are insanely sensitive). The EP is called "Echo Il Nemico". I've done too much work promoting this with what has amounted to lots more in the way of attention for us, but GOD, 8 bucks!?! It isn't much for what will get you extremely high quality versions of our songs, not to mention free merch. if you bother to contact us (tricho@live.com) so we can GET IT TO YOU..shit.. You will also have priority advance purchase chance on our new LP (it will be out on CD, electronic download, and Vinyl LP] This set of songs eclipses everything we have done, as we are simply better at what we do now than we were when we released the EP. .. email us, find us everywhere, or...give us a try on Skype....if you check at the right time/s you'll get one of us. We do expect other musicians to maybe contact us this way, as we would do the same and just "talk shop"... So, simply look up trichotillomania on Skype or by email, tricho@live.com

Howitzers were rad: I mean: a conventional GUN that freaking size? Come on..

THat I think the things I do..I t forces me to question everything in extreme detail. I need to examine things from every angle I can see, and try to guess what motives who might have for what reasons. I do this automatically and without and thought. I question every event...every gesture...all without a single conscious thought. The fact that this is part of my makeup makes my capacity for trust a woefully inefficient and difficult to manage part of existence. I have seen at least 3 separate commercials from various levels of food outlet (i.e. "restaurant" (or fast food joint, hence the quotation marks). It makes me angry that I have to permit, to permit myself continuation of the medication I need, is contingent have my skin pierced, blood taken; and end up feeling like shit for the rest of the day. The fact that that which can ONLY harm me, is policed as per our militarized policing of perscription-writing, not to mention the deification of Doctors that Americans can't seem to realize is bullshit. HOw many Dr.s do you know that are not jerks, one way or another? M.D.s, while likely trained properly, etc....they largely ask me what to do regarding my treatments of any ailments I may have as I've may have been dealing with them for 15+ years. Specialist or not, 15 years of daily life with with an malady gives you far better perspective than fucking being a good damned M.D., focusing on EVERYTHING in 11 years....4 years average college, 4-years med-school, 3 years (minimum [to become the typical G.P.]...most of the Docs you see have their degrees. as in they are Doctors with a 3-year residency....in other words; unkless they have CONTINUED their education on a CONTANT basis, they do not deserve to be your Physician. 4+4+3 does NOT equal mastery of the human body and its' ailments. The deification of Doctors in the U.S. is a reflex of our general lack of education. My Maternal Grandfather only completed "school" through the 4th grade, yet got HIgh School equivalency, and 2 college degrees earned while in the military and working at a Liquor store. He was a badass. There are literally Nazi-blood stains on the trench-shovel cover (the one used by him to kill at least 2 Nazi fucks as they ran over his foxhole...the shovel is still sharpened on the sides to the degree of an axe...which it was used as at at least a few points to chop wood for warmth. Nazi fucks were rushing over the ground his hidden foxhole existed on, as they passed overhead, held the sharpened showel up and killed the fools. ..that is apparently when thee canvas cover got sprayed with blood. That shovel, and moreso...his KA-BAR, are 2 of my most prized possessions. They have so much sentimental value. Sentiment and that which quantum physics makes everything we know so bloody strange. To know that, factually, everything that has occurred in this house...since 1968, and whoever and whatever occurred here prior (it was built in '58 I believe)...that, in a very real way...all of that is occurring in this space simultaneously, in constancy: we are just out of phase with it and its' contents....this is how I explain Ghosts, etc...spots/things that make things fall INTO phase with other "times". I wish Adam Sandler had stopped acting before he went the way of making a movie where he is playing a female version of himself.....Jesus...uit is just sick, I want nacho cheese.There is far too much to do for me at the moment,...not really...it jjust looks that way: most of it is simple, directly in the trash garbage.......it gets very easily overwhelming,....When I realize that it would take me only an hour or 2 to clear everything from here; it depresses me; but feels liberating simultaneously.. I really hate when I'm typical.

book of Job, horror of cam,cam fills 3 tulinx

`Speaking of morons: Those who get all juiced up (yeah, you heard me) about 'The Twilight Saga'...'Oh, I am sooooo forlorn! " I am a vampire who, somehow, still wants to fuck you, even though I am dead; my real kick is making people de facto Necrophiliacs just to watch their face when I corpse up, imitate rigor and, since I've no heartbeat..hahahah, it is fucking hilarious! Hahahahaha, (coughs dust) Stupid fucking teenage girls., chough, cough (dust clouds emerge again ...he gags and coughs and gags, then coughs rapidly with no dust. A pair of panties,( red satin with black lace trim the prototypical whore lingerie) flies out at incredible speed and sticks against a large rock, dripping with mucous and viscous crud replete with particulate inhalation/internal decay. "haha...they love it when I literally eat their panties...a good way to "accidentially" get in a first bite in the femoral artery., way up high." I am sickened that these moron Twilight lovers keep it where it belongs...then I'd not call them morons. These idiots, some..and far too many, quite literally are so wrapped up in this crap that they hit on me more now because I am pale (maybe its' the engagement ring [yeah I decided to wear an engagement ring,as my Grandparents did and then wore both through their entire 60+ some years of marriage...they died 13 days apart from each other, in 2002].

Happy Families, traps lain to glue you to, the trap as fleas.

Another abstraction for the sake of distraction. I am, apparently, incapable, of conventional life. I wish there were a viable amount of hours in a day: that a choice existed. If you desire it: 4 hours can be excised every other day...the only hiutch being that you have to put in the request two days prior. Best bet: excise things you know are going to MINIMALLY be kinda shitty, yet you have to do X, Y or Z anyway..: no way around it, -POP- it no longer exists and you are in a moment 4 hours, exactly, later I'd like to simply throttle whatever idiot started playing so-called Gangsta Rap (shitty rappers who were once good whodo nothing but talk about their money, their cars, the fact they are HUSTLERS. I doubt the average ad exec ANYWHERE (save for NYC, maybe) knows what the hell they are saying when they say they are a "Hustler"....they probably think it is prostitution or SHIT, who knows what these privileged jerks think (they probably do not think about it at all.....I'm sure when you make enough: i.e. NOT living paycheck to paycheck..lots of things go away...but, those inclined would have those worries that MOST of us have everyday due to a shit economy and idiotic decisions made by idiotic people...so in debt they will pass it on to those who survive them. My father did this: it was my Grandparents that bailed him out, or rather US, as we would have been who they went after next. When did people simply get even stupider...I mean to say.., I now see people crossing streets without as much as a glance to see what the condition of traffic is, etc. The "universal pedestrian Right of Way Law" is just about the stupidest bullshit in history. Morons assume: "Oh, they can see me, though it is night and I am wearing all black, and if they hit me, I'll sue them for everything they have.".....--enough solace for the average dipshit. It is a syndrome that can only occur in a shittown like Santa Maria. In any other place: people cross without looking.., but because they know tthe timing of the traffic signals..so they know precisely when they can/cannot cross. If you don't believe me, go to any REAL metropolitain area and watch people (L.A. doesn't count except for smack in the middle of downtown or in a lot of Hollywood .. I unfortunately left the TVC on Mtv (Empty Vee)...The show (no music on Music Television; not that I need to tell you...there is scarecely any on MTV2 or VH1 or VH1 classic, etc....I certainly have a love/hate feeling about television. I watch this vacuous idiot packing up his uncheap-Volvo (one of more expensive models about a year ago..no doubt with all amenities) witht he contents of his very swanky, luxurious San Francisco pad for which he was paying no less than $2,500 a month in rent as per the district (as I could tell) and the simple fact that there was a view. It was North Beach if I am right...this fuck ..he has a car in San Francisco. NEWSFLASH: You DO NOT NEED A CAR IN SAN FRANCISCO...it becomes a liability at times more than anything. Dumbfuck should have simply sold his car, bought an econobox if he needed a car so damn bad and looked for a cheaper apartment. I honestly hate the stupid.(by stupid I mean: those with the capacity to work it out: they just won't and do not bother to exercise logic. A 1 year-old, 50K Volvo is extraneous and 100% unnecessary to have a vehicle in that city. It can be convenient at times, but it is NOT needed. I can't be sympathertic toward these morons... ***.continued in next post***

Flaglog 14, 10.31.pres

A workfellow will pay for being a jerkfellow, a jerk-off, who will pay for his initial action, one, the initial lie, 2, and the delay in COMING clean. Work-fellow of my betrothed: know you have no room now for error; you fuck up again...if you desire entension into my life, you'd better pay me, as you are trying to fuck me. You owe ME apoliogy; moreover my female counterpart....I'd kill you were it legal to destroy someone for an obviously malicious "joke" . Fuck You you simple piece of shit. I'll be glad to tcare for you. for you, for you ever you desire to "come around" again; but its' not so worth your ugh, uh, splatter a few ouncers of man-batter on Julio, or Jesus, Play-Zeus (the imaginary servant kind from Heaven you thought about in the bathtub whilst dingling your wink, flagellating your stabbing aching, start masturbating instead of spraying your kindergarten semen all over my world...pealy while hurl.......but life will take care of you....waiter for life or even less, I hope. You simply do not touch others' beloingings and claim to be them...sending msgs to me...as you have now, independent of all, fucked with me....I now will make things have equanimity. I will destroy your peace of mind. I will intrude where I do not belong and IF YOU DARE, dumb motherfucker, I'll beat you and do the days with a smile, as justice sometimes has a human price...sometimes far too often, sometimes far too thin...whether my head hurts or not is unlinked. -radius.: - 2.33338765 ulnar deviant on 'acceleerant cyuclce (3 from 21 most precise by algorithm 56_Hlensley): 6.8 Reccomendation: Reconvene in Safety ++-:END TRANSMISSION-++

I wish there were more Elmyrs in this world.

I was the manager here; I stood around supervising stupidity. I am an unnoticed phantom occurrence within the place I am supposed to be able to call home. This place is as fuck as it gets. I get weary, wary, diseased and hairy-eyeballs from those who'd give a shit, conscript the writ, l;legalize SHIT. When I walk through anywhere or anyplace; I almost want someone to fuck with me just to allow me some practice in real life.....there is NOTHING like the real thing: or the first time. Getting attacked/jumped, mugged, etc (there is no other reason but money for someone to hit me in such a a manner, so ..eliminate impossible/left with answer. I am a plasmatic entrancement; literal: damned considerable, and , literally just saw my nephew kiss my moms' ass. Why I had to look in at that very instant, recoiled and will wait (or emply my new cooker for my room so I NEVER have the need during regular hours to go near the co-residing ingrates.....a kid with his hand directly in his asshole kinda makes me lose my appetite (and I wonder why I get sick too often). I think, as much as possible it is paper plates and packaged, unhandled by the child food....fecal bacteria on my food is NOT what spells Loving A Something Dumpling; what a looker, from the bloody cheap electric cooker purchased to avoid: one way or another. I just had an unforgettable motel experience which I will not say a work regarding as legal action may end up occurring (it was that bad) When a simple pleasure I have: as in watching a few TV shows a week regularly as simple, easy-on-the-brain entertainment: but nowhere near the level of comatose bullshit that preempts my damn dumb shows. Fuck You, inflated importance of sports....it doesn't instill good sportsmanship as I have seen (at least the "Higher Level" Athletes playing various sports in kids leagues..as in the level of seriousness with obsessive, pushy parents getting in fist-fights, giving their kids specialized sports supplements, as well as "supplements...in their ..ahem, juice.., if you get me. WHY? 'CUZ FUCK 'EM, THATS' WHY^!!!! No, really, with metal, barbed sticks....I hate these "people" (likely just cleverly disguised Crab People from the center of the Earth)... I just can't abide a bunch of either fat and old douches called "athletes", along with a bunch of Dominican dudes who can smack a ball 1/4 of a mile but speak not a lick of English and are, likely, the most appreciative and understanding of what was once the TRUE spirit behind baseball [I get the point; I just think(can see) its' been corrupted and is irrelevant on the level it is granted unconditional Preemptive ability on television. Major media has to comprehend that there are shitloads of people who couldn't care less about sports of any kind. There are some, like myself, who like watching certain, oscure sports, but if you preempt Family Guy,.I want to beat you into a coma. I didn't ask for fucking baseball; and since I do not follow it,..I don't know/care when the damned world series is and when I a, going to have my routine raped. I, as I said, only ask for a small thing: for the little bit of TV I actually, actively watch (as in not miss a single episode...MUST follow the story-line..or simply have had such a horrible week that I NEED some stupid bloody laughter at the end of the friggin weak-assed week. I have but one use on an average basis (I am not opposed to baseball or playing it: for fun...BECAUSE IT IS A GAME!!! Once again.., let me run you through the logic: Sports are games. Baseball, though a relatively idle activity, is a "Sport"......therefore it is a GAME. Hence the common usage, "Watching the game" or "Bitch, bother me one more time during the game, and I will fuck you up" (not all 'sports-fans are violent woman-beaters: many take on the Bohemian douchebag mirage to draw their victims..


Accelerated Decrepitude!!?!!

Wow.., the contrast is amazing.: after being in shit-Central CA for a long while without a break (my "choice" in a sense...but more that "fault" of my idiot-anxiety which has been whipping my ass like the proverbial red-headed stepchild. When coming from The City ( refer to San Francisco as such; there is no other proper "City" in California...L.A. is a giant spread out rotting Basin of filth that I'd rather be dead than live in or even near. Upon my last visage of San Diego; I saw nothing but what appeared to be a simple extension (like a deathly, horrible stinking, belching moss-covered drainage of filth that has slowly, but surely dripped and infected all that with which the slime came in contact. As a strangling Kudzu fueled by Pseudo-Neuvo self-proclaimed Sophisticates simply due to the fact their state (not in their shithole, thank god) produces more and better wine than anywhere on the planet. L.A. has its' amenities: not a one'd cause me to reside there...I don't mean this as a personal attack, or anything close to those who dig L.A; I personally simply can't stand it and its' viral sprawl-spread mauling dead former cities identities. Every place has its' merits.....just some a lot more meritorious than others. The sessions of which I'll soon post photographs produced our sound,distinctly: however we have grown..as time necessitates/permits. I am proud and pleased that what we are now creating is distinctly different from our past work, yet is of a quality that will make me very happy to cut into Vinyl. I am not in a state of mind that allows me much more to say at the moment. Depending on whether we get anyone requesting such: we may release the tracks that will go on new new LP one by one; however..we have no incentive to do so unless we hear from you; know what you want: can be sure you'll bother to buy a record after hearing all of the tracks for a month or more... i.e.: make it worth our while, and the songs will appear as they are finished. FEEDBACK, please,,,,..feedback. We cannot yet read your thoughts directly.

Come say 'Hello' if you too are seeing the Foo Fighters TONIGHT!

post refers to what is currently today)[duh]..:10/19/2011(October 19th, 2011) It is too early and I am siting here listening to band with whom we have a musical kinship (perhaps)...I hear not much....a band here; a singer-songwriter...mostly a bunch of moving walking and talking cliche. I find myself saying over my headphones blare: "Oh gid....this is terrible: whoever made this should be", "Please walk into traffic", "I gope flesh-eating bacteria hit your larynx so I never have to hear that voice again", "WHY the HELL does EVERY white rapper not seem to recognize that Hip-Hop existed before Eminem!!!!!" (there are more white guys who obviously mimic his style, rhyme schemes, rhythmic patterns, subject matter: even his look....fucking repugnant.) Eminiem does Eminem JUST fine.. That being said: there are FAR more band and musicians out there who have a distinct kinship with our ethos/aesthetic prjection desired by our songs. There are so many:..I hope every one of those who deserve it get to develop their sound in what "the music biz" is hopefully becoming for the first time in ages: a meritocracy.....if you are good at writing/recording/playing music.....you'll get the attention and ability to NOT worry where the next place you will sleep/where you'll get the cash for a next meal [I have been there and never Desire a return. PLEASE COME AND SAY HI IF YOU ARE SEEING THE FOO FIGHTERS TONIGHT...GET AROUND SOMEONE W/ AN ANDROID SMARTPHONE, DOWNLOAD OUR APP (go to the android market and search 'trichotillomania' install the app and we can push text directly to you. I will; in the case that HOPEFULLY someone will come say "Hello".I will push our location in the arena and where we'll be during the intermission betwixt the bands' sets. ...fuck bad omens,! --NGP

My dead dad can beat up your dead dad!

I am bored and now forced / and I am forced to use the government/ up and down the stubble fence/ I'd rince you motherfuckers down the toilet along with the rest of that which IS HUMAN WASTE/ the absolute, resolute, lacking contribute Flush you first, Not a real name Aguilar, henceforth known as feces. Please Geez, DELETE this disease of a Human. Reprise the delusion and recreate this solute, which is obviously faulty.:;..nauseously guilty, doused with baby-oil greasy, easy, who fucks anything with a vibration or that can be sapped/leeched from; I beseech reality to rectify this abnormally greasy ponce) I'd name some names of theRapist and its' quarry and and dining buddies...but justice comes one way only.; I can hear the train with my condenser mic pointed at the tracks...it isn't too far...the Karma is a Bitch Express: Always Right On-Time. The tracks vibrate violently with that which will arrive shortly. I am giddy at its' arrival._____ __________________________

Idiots who do very foolish things are doing what amounts to walking forward, between two large, immovable vertical steel rods that have an inch-thick, very flexible & strong inner-tube/band at whose center is a 3 lbs. lead weight. The fool walks forward, between the rods and pushes the 3 lbs weight with his crotch, laughing each time (he isn't very bright) mimics thrusting his junk at the weight. There is a hook close to the wall. It catches the rubber with all its' stored energy...but not very well. Dumbshit starts rubbing together his few remaining brain-cells and decides to make a "big-ass sligshot, huhuhuh." Douchebag steps back to see the thing in its' "cocked position" at which point the hook gives way (as designed, and kills the Waste of Sperm and Egg capacity to make more idiots.... He just got what he deserved; for being stupid.......... testicles smashed to the consistency of Loose, wet oatmeal. A speaker will then actuate playing a laughing sound....theRaprist goes away forever and ever, Amen. When The Universe sorts this out: all will be illuminated; one will be incarcerated, or interned upside-down in the box caskets are shipped in as shit like Doucheyfuck don't have anyone who can care....they have burned all of their bridges. If you think me cruel: Rape is cruel, beating your girlfriend or wife is cruel...writing a damned blog is far from cruel. Good Evening.