After having to undergo a sobriety test on the way home from Fitchburg (Passed with a B+)Christmas is over. I received a Candyland game from nick that has assembly required. WTF! I am still grateful. It has actually been amusing trying to assemble it while my daughter takes neccesary pieces into the other room, leaves them there and then insists on playing the game NOW! We have come to terms that spinning the wheel and trying to guess the color is probably the best way to play candyland at this point. Who decided to change the boardgame into a jigsaw puzzle anyway. My personal critique of the new candyland. design...horrible, ease of starting play...horrible....trying to convince a three year old it is probably a better idea to eat fruit snacks and watch spongebob....Priceless!! Happy Holidays everybody!!! Keith
OK….Santa brought Rock Band the game for Wii to my house this year. The kids have been wanting it for months and couldn’t get it hooked up quick enough to play. Since Christmas day I think they’ve played for about 16 hours (too much). I’m not much of a “gamer” myself but I really don’t understand the popularity of this game. Aside from some catchy songs I’m missing the fun part. Are we raising a generation of “wanna bees”? When I was my son’s age all I wanted was a real drum set that actually didn’t require batteries and made sound when you hit it. I sound like an old man so I’ll stop now…….BTW- maybe I’m bitter because I’m no good on the Rock Band drums! Jason
‘Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the shack. Not a creature was stirrin’, cept the lice on my back. The skoal cans wuz nailed to the screen door with care, with hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were sleepin’, all snug in their beds, while visions of tractor pulls danced in their heads. And Ma in her nightgown all stained with pound cake, had just settled down to watch Ricki Lake. When out in the driveway, a loud noise I heard, I opened the winder to check my T-bird. I ran to the door, like I’s on a mission, but I tripped on some parts from my granny’s transmission. The moon shone outside, the hound dog wuz barkin’, my daughter weren’t home yet, she was still out parkin’. When what to my whiskey blind eyes should I see but a Chevy S-10, pulled by eight flyin’ sheep. With a fat nasty driver, so disgustin’ and sick, I said “Shoot Fire!” That must be St. Nick! More rapid than X-lax his wooly sheep came, and he belched and he hollered, and he called ‘em by name. Now CLIFFORD! Now VERNON! Now LESTER and ENUS! On FESTUS! On ELMER! On ROSCOE and CLETUS! From the top of the shack to them there garbage bins, now Dash Away! Dash Away! Dash Away youins! I heard a loud sound on the roof of my shack, put down my beer and went fer my gun rack. He fell through the roof, plum killed my dog, I swear that ole’ Santa looked just like Boss Hog. He wore a T-shirt, rebel flag on the front, and his jeans were all bloody from that morning’s hunt. A big naked lady tattooed on his arm, and he wore black boots that he’d picked up in ‘Nam. His eyes, how they glazed from too much Wild Turkey, from the side of his mouth hung a stick of beef jerky. A scar on his cheek from a fight with the cops, the veins on his face looked ready to pop. The butt of a Marlboro clung to his lip, he wore a hip pack full of B-B-Q chips. He had a fat face and a hairy beer belly, I ain’t seen one that big since my ex-wife Shelly. He was gap-toothed and dumb with an I.Q. of three, and I laughed cause that redneck was smarter than me. A wink of his eye, a fierce shake of his head, from his hair came a rat that ran under the bed. He reached in his sack, sipped his gin and tonic, then filled the kid’s stockings with Hooked on Phonics. His toys came from Big Lots and they weren’t very nice, but he had lots of them and you can’t beat the price. He gave us a tape of them hound dogs that sing Jingle Bells, some Crisco, some Spam, some Oatmeal Cream pies, and a Nascar T-shirt in Double X size. When the presents were gone and he had no more, he staggered and stumbled right through my screen door. He hopped in his truck, to his sheep gave an order “Hurry up youins! To the Tennessee border!” And I heard him cry out, with a strong southern drawl, “MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU REDNECKS! MERRY CHRISTMAS Y’ALL!” YEE HAWWWW!
Merry Christmas to all you LoveMonkeys fans! Thanks for the support this year, it was the best gift we could have asked for! LoveMonkey Trivia Question: What is your favorite song that the LoveMonkeys perform? Keith
I woke up this morning and was called to my bass. No, seriously. I love the instrument so much, and I am so blessed to have been obsessed by its existence for the past ….. whatever years….anyway, I love to play. Well, after playing “Louie Louie” 4 or 5 times (in a row), I decided to YouTube some of my favorite players. I checked out John Entwistle (The Who), Michael "Flea" Balzary (Red Hot Chili Peppers), Phil Kingsbury ('Nuff Said), Jaco Pastorius, Les Claypool (Primus), Geddy Lee (Rush), Adam Clayton (U2), Victor Wooten, John Entwistle (The Who), Bootsy Collins (Funkadelic), Jack Bruce (Cream), STING, Stanley Clarke, Timothy B Schmidt (Eagles), John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin). Then I pee’d, and ate Cheerio’s (not at the same time). Man, I love music so much…..how about you? Do you play an instrument? If so, what do you play? Why? When do you play it? WITH WHOM??! Serious inquires only J LoveMonkeys Trivia Question: How many years have the LoveMonkeys been the LoveMonkeys? Merry New Year and “FA RA RA RA RAAAAAAAA” Neak Read more: http://www.faqs.org/shareranks/594,Greatest-Bass-Players-of-All-Time#ixzz0aSQxWNTk
Merry Christmas everyone. Find a way to let those around you know how much they mean to you. I know the band is very thankful for your support over the years. We've had so much fun playing live. Thank you. LoveMonkeys Trivia Question - What was your favorite LoveMonkeys Show? Jason
I remember the time I questioned the validity of Santa Claus. Every kid has his or her own version of this story and mine is probably similar to many – however, I love the ending. I am in 3rd or 4th grade, the kids at school are talking smack about the jolly old man and I am devastated. The story of Santa Claus, the North Pole, 8 Reindeer, presents for kids all around the world may be the most amazing fantasy one never wants to part with. I couldn’t sleep at night. I couldn’t eat during the day. I loved St Nick. I loved Christmas. I didn’t want this part of my life to change – at least not at such a young age. I grew up in a “very Brady environment” and, looking back, I’d like to think my brothers and sisters all possessed a sweet vulnerability I didn’t see in the other neighborhood kids. I approached my mom and sat down next to her. I vividly remember breaking down in tears to sobbingly explain to her how my classmates and friends were saying Santa Claus didn’t exist, making fun of me in the process for still having belief. I looked at my mom straight out asked “Is there really a Santa Claus?”. There. I did it. I put her on the spot. Mom has never lied to me, deceived me or given me any advice that would put me in a bad position. Mom didn’t flinch. I think she was waiting for it. She looked me right in the eye and responded, “What do you think?” I rebounded with every possible response a 9 year old kid could offer – from the administrative nightmare of traveling around the world in 24 hours to that section of our garage covered with a tarp that may or may not have a JC Penney’s Catalog shipment under it. I ran the gamut for mom and she didn’t say a word as I one-sidedly debated the Santa Claus myth. After I finished, she once again looked at me and said “well, if that’s what you think, that’s what you think. I still believe in and will never stop believing in Santa Claus. This world NEEDS Santa Claus.” She stood up and left the room. Mom never gave me an answer to my question. She left me to decide on my own. To this day, I still believe in Santa Claus. He offers us hope, he lights up a child’s sad face, he encourages us to be good people all year around. When I think about it, so do God and Jesus. Man… I am glad I never questioned her on those two. LOVEMONKEYS TRIVIA QUESTION Where did you first see The LoveMonkeys?
For those of us hopeless romantics, struggling with Holiday gifts for that special someone, I made an eye-popping discovery that the price of romance is also affected by the crumbling economy, inflation and jacked up labor costs. If you want to be the romantic, traditionalist at Christmas and follow the gift buying lead laid out in the classic, Twelve Days Of Christmas, sad to say, the total price to cover all the gifts, has escalated to $87,402.81 in 2009. Good news is this is only up a mere 0.9 percent compared to last year. Among the 12 gifts in the Index, three items fell measurably from last year while five increased in cost and four remained steady. The sharp rise in gold prices proved to be the main contributor to the dramatic 42.9 percent jump to $499.95 for the Five Gold Rings. The cost of the Seven Swans-a-Swimming, which generally provide the biggest swings from year to year, fell this year by 6.3 percent to $5,250 following last year’s huge 33.3 percent rise. As the only unskilled laborers on the gift list, the eight Maids-a-Milking received an automatic raise for the third straight year due to another increase in the federal minimum wage. Before 2007, they had not received a raise since 1997. As usual, the musicians and entertainers did not get a raise! The cost of most performers — the Drummers Drumming ($2,475.20), Pipers Piping ($2,284.80) and Lords-a-Leaping ($4,413.61) — saw no increase at all from 2008, reflecting the labor market in which the unemployment rate rose to 10 percent after sitting around 5 percent for much of the decade. Only the price for the Ladies Dancing is higher this year, up 15 percent to $5,473.07. They must have been hired to do more than dance for that kind of increase! Anyway, just some fun facts that prove once again, the price of love is EXPENSIVE … especially during the holidays! LoveMonkeys Trivia Question: Where is your favorite venue to see the LoveMonkeys? For more fun info on the Twelve Days Of Christmas Index: http://www.pncchristmaspriceindex.com
I’ve decided that’s it’s time to tell my 7 year old daughter the truth about Santa Clause. He plays drums for the Toys. Just kidding Jimmy! But seriously folks, she’s been asking me well thought out, intelligent questions about Santa’s existence like “how does Santa actually make it to everyone’s house in one night?” and “How does he get himself, and all the presents into the house when we don’t have a chimney?”. So for the past 2 months or so, I played the game that my parents played with me when I was her age; I made shit up! But now, I know that she’s on to me. In fact, yesterday she told me that she still “believes in Santa”, but not elves. Elves are fake”. Well, who the hell is Santa Clause without elves! So here I sit feeling guilty that she may have figured out the big lie. Pretty tough to swallow considering that I spend a good deal of time explaining to her that lying is a bad thing that comes with consequences, and I’m about to reveal that I’ve been lying to her for seven years. Jeepers. Seriously, any advice? Nick “the lying parent” Lovemonkey
I hate ice skating…..haven’t done it in years……I hate getting cold and falling down…..now is not the time for me to try to ice skate……or so I thought I went to Red Arrow Park to ice skate with my family and I had A BLAST! I want to go again……I didn’t want to leave it was so much fun! The Christmas decorations, lights and music filling your senses as you skate in circles seemed like the perfect way to spend the evening enjoying the season. The hot chocolate was sooooo tasty. I recommend you go. You can rent skates if you don’t have your own and it sure didn’t seem crowded so no worries if your skating talents are on my level! Jason