Perfect timing .. This song was written with my good friend from France Stéphane Amaté, a wonderful string composer.
Valentines day in grade school was something I both dreaded and looked forward to. I dreaded it because it was pretty normal for me to be in a different school, not each year but each semester or sometimes more than that. And when I was in school, I was in the “short bus” trailer..which we called something I won’t say, but think it’s called Special Ed now, so I was completely separate from class mates in my grade except for homeroom and lunch. And none really knew me, so when the cards went in those little boxes we had to make, I got the generic cards if any, and a few times, i didn’t get any, and the teacher made people gave me some of their cards..which is shit, because I wanted them to want to give me cards.
I looked forward to it, because I was a poet, and felt that it was an opportunity to MAKE a girl fall in love with me. But it never worked.
I remember my mother buying my valentines cards, and she would always buy me a more expensive pack of nice cards with candy to give to the very special girls. And sometimes she would buy me one heart shaped box of chocolates to give to the girl I really wanted to impress. I would pick out the little heart candies, that say “your nice,” or “I love you,” and construct meticulously messages from these to put in the girl’s box that I wanted to want me, and thought that she would see the message and run over and kiss me in front of the whole class, messages like, “Your kind.. I Think your great… I love you.” But my genius plans never worked.. the heart messages went in their mouth before they read them..at least the ones from me. The other’s given by other boys, the girls would study, looking for their own messages and reading into the slightest subtleties of a card, a smiling heart, or candy message, their own dreams of love.
So.. I’m getting sad even talking about it.. so enjoy the song.
It's a love song in the only way I know how to do love songs.. with both sides presented.. the guts and the glory of love.. but mostly guts in this one. But the melody and upbeat "happy," thing it has going plays against the bleak picture painted of love.
Holiday was the first track on the Ezra/Thomas release that never was released, Promise Land.
I always thought I had made a mistake putting it as the first track, just like I felt Stereo was a mistake as the first track on the previous album.
Because neither of them represent the rest of their album in style.. but in theme and content they do, and I guess that's why I chose to do it that way.
But albums are becoming a thing o the past... so really doesn't matter much anymore.
Holiday represented the desperation that Promise Land was.. emptiness was hollowness, hollow days , holiday from existence..in a limbo of nothingness...represented by existential boredom.
If I knew what hell laid before me from dwelling in the dark pondering of this album.. I probably never would have spent two years making it. But I'm glad I did.
The random playlist came up with an old favorite from my post Gypsy tree days, hold me down, written by me and Bart the bass player for Gypsy Tree. Recorded in LA along with the #7 track diamonds under pillows and produced by a really cool dude but I can't remember his name.
The coolest detail about these LA tracks are that I shared the studio with guns & roses while making these.. and at the time.. they were big meatballs.
I wrote hold me down when I got signed at around 17-18 to a LA development deal, which for a guy my age, from a po-dunk town, with no prospects working as a mechanic, was a pretty big deal..
I didn't want to leave though.. I liked my where i was, living in a horse barn, jamming every night and falling to sleep to a warn out tape of Chris Whitley's living with the law, and working on cars everyday. I had never been so happy and content in life, and what more could there be be if you have found happiness and contentment?
I recently went through the same feelings..and ability to leave my white bread life and live what I thought was "my dream." There was opportunity for me to completely change my life and livelihood into what I thought I had always wanted. But, I didn't want to leave, because I had found complete contentment in my desperate struggling circumstances...to change the recipe, might remove me from the place I had found joy, the place I had been looking for all my days. Once again..what else is their to achieve? What is the point of pouring more water into a cup that is already full to the brim? Would a music career add to, or remove from the complete fullness I had found? Or money, could that add anything?
Hold me down, I never liked the song, but it’s true to my life and love, All I want is to love a few people deeply, and to be loved deeply by a few, and that can be found in for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, and I can imagine even in death.
So the random song today is Mortal days.. and I ust made it in before midnight. and the " " is broken on my keyboard so I can't type the letter " " which I can't type to tell you what it is.
The reason I was so late posting tonight is because I spent an unplanned evening drinking coffee and catching up with an old friend. And much of our conversation revolved around the theme of this song.
I used to drive to my “ “ob, a “ “ob that I had grown weary of and everyday as I drove to this ob over the trinity bridge, in my piece of shit car, with no air or heat or radio and that would sometimes break down on the bridge, I would, without fail, look across the wide open plain beyond the trinity and picture myself parking the car and ust walking into the wilderness..following the river to the Brazos and to the end of it, weather it be a stream a creek or an ocean... and never coming back. I did this every day for almost 8 years.
I had no plans after that.. I ust knew in my heart that this life of doing work that was meaningless to me, for the ma” “orty of my life, and recovering from it the other %40, was going to destroy me..and in a way it did play apart in me coming apart. So why not " "ust walk away.
I still often drive over the same bridge.. and en” “oy looking at the wide open space with the spotted trees and quiet river. But I don't think about walking away from it all anymore.. I think of buying a fishing pole and catching some of those nasty three eyed poisonous fish with my daughter and my son and then coming back to the car that is so illegal that I’ll probably get thrown in “ “ if I get pulled over, and that still breaks down on the bridge, then heading home.
If I do go get locked up..that’s okay too.. I’ll have some quiet time away from this blinding life to see that day at the river clearly.
What are your thoughts on these mortal days..and doing what you love no matter the cost?
Incase you missed it .. I'm posting a song everyday for 30 days to celebrate 1000 subscribers ion Reverbnation.
So what I do is hit shuffle in my last 20 years of music and whatever plays I upload.. today it's Kinsman Redeemer from the Ezra/Thomas album Weight of being.
Weight of being was a big stepping stone for me and Thomas..before this, recordings we're not much in our control.. It was still produced by someone else, Mark Hallman a grammy nominee in austin's congress house studio. But we recorded most of the raw tracks ourself in our studio so we had a lot more control than either one of us had ever had.
The album was in Performing Songwriter magazine and received an exclusive Japan publishing deal where they re-printed it with a bunch of words I can't read on it and a extra bonus track which i can't remember which one that was.. I think it was called Angel with the wooden wing (live)..but it also could have been our song AMERICAN.
Enjoy Kinsman and let me know what you think in the comments or questions.. in 30 days these all come down so make sure you get them while you can. ez
Reverberation has been around awhile I guess.. but I just got on it last summer. And now we have 1000 fans that I didn't buy or beg for.. thanks you!
Over the next 30 days to celebrate this I'll be posting one song a day from my catalogue for free download.. please share them and lets hit 2000 in 30 days!
Yes I'm crazy.. but you remember what Seal said..
I'll probably post each morning...but at least by 5pm each day.
! When day 31 hits.. I'm going to take them all down or hide them... so download them while their up.
I'm podcasting everyday of the kickstarter campaign, privately on soundcloud to my followers.. but some say I should put this out there.. so..y'all know better than me
here is the podcast http://www.spreaker.com/user/ezravancil/day-1-musicians-on-a-mission
thanks everyone that has jumped in early in the game! You're a great help, and if you can, please share this with others. http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ezravancil/an-album-for-an-album-for-an-album-love-one-anothe
http://youtu.be/G0quONaBfIo I like this video
It reminds me that no one is writing the script.. I am. My life can be whatever I want it to be.. yes I may die tomorrow.. but today I can be and shoot for whatever I want. That there are restrictions, that there is a WAY to do things a WAY a Bass/Guitar.Keyboard player "plays"... is an illusion that society has made... not God. In him I can do ALL things... the past is gone, the "future" is there awaiting your decision to just become your past over and over again or to become your FUTURE.. It doesn't care one way or the other.. but I do.. you do
Hope is not a means to an end.. it is the end.. lack of confidence is usually tied to lack of hope.. "don't wanna get your hopes up" cause lets face it hopes get dashed on a daily basses..and sometimes really HARD CORE dashed.. but to "hope" is what makes us human.. and to hope is fun..it feels good... so who really cares if the HOPE leads anywhere... just abandoning yourself to A HOPE is something %99 of the world over 35-40, has given up on... if you do it.. then your a minority on this planet.. your special ..and people will think you "special ed" hahha but who cares what they think.. this ain't their life it's mine, it's yours..
Here is another vid you might of missed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfVXDpo1N5U
To think how incredibly small I am compared with the grand scheme .. the grand universe that goes on forever.. my life on earth is breath in time... For me to ponder that there is a planet 30,000,000 miles away, 50 times bigger than this earth..that is just sitting there and has sat there and just "been" for a million years longer than the earth makes it kind of a funny thing for me, this spec of dust, to worry about screwing up my solo at the opening bell coffee house..(or being too old.. or being cheesy to young people.). hah... it could make me feel insignificant and small.. but it makes me feel huge.. cause that planet can only do what it's told by it's master, gravity... I'm a free agent in a grand universe.. I can do what I want today.. I don't have to rotate around anything, (someones expectations), the music industry, my job.. nothing... I could walk out the door and catch a plane to spain and live in a hospice for 10$ a night and write a book about (how I love) my children, (music or twinkles. ) anyway see what you think ez
On Sep 18, 2013, at 11:00 AM, Lori Martin wrote:
And gettin closer to show time! Just kinda laying out an agenda for tonight and for the week:
1. Work on Wild Girl - Riley, I am not sure if ezra told you this already but he wants us to keep this song pretty true to the recording...
2. run through set list and make sure songs mesh well.
3. Time set /no stopping, play through mistakes as if it is a live show
4. Video and pick a song we wanna post.
5. Drink beer
On Sep 18, 2013, at 11:32 AM, Ezra Vancil wrote:
I have a slight little a change in the agenda
1. Drink beer
2. run through set list and make sure songs mesh well with drinking beer
3. Time set /no stopping, play through mistakes as if it is us playing while Drinking beer
4. Video us Drink beer
5. Drink beer
I guess I should not refer to myself in third person, I got this from my bass player Lori Martin today:
Yeah, I actually did receive your email. I was going to respond but thought it to be futile since you were sitting so high on your horse. In the meantime, I will take note of my place, lay petals upon which you will walk, feed you grapes and wipe your brow, oh mighty and great "KingEz" ; ) Seriuosly though, Censored: business.. business..business
Censored: business.. business..business... I remember thinking, " wow, their already done?" Something I think we should do as well ( oops, permission to speak freely my lord?)
Censored: business.. business..business
That's my 2 cents. I shall now wash the grapes and prepare for your arrival. :D