Last time I spoke of having a difficult time accepting the inevitable changes that come daily in life. I have grown more and more into myself within the last year since. Independence being the focus of this. My friends and family mean the world to me first off, but learning to live with myself, my own decisions and habits has been an incredible journey as well. I have been living on my own for a while now learning each and every one of my own quirks. It's amazing what freedom you have when you are the only one that you are answering to! Granted, I still prefer the company and presence of others, but I have learned many lessons over these passing months. First: I am not the best house keeper. When I had a roommate, I was constantly worried about how tidy everything was because I was so concerned with how they felt about it. Now that I'm on my own, I spend my time doing much more productive and creative things. I've played my instruments more, went out to the bar with friends and sang karaoke, baked cookies, painted a mural and re arranged my record collection according to musical genre and preference. Little things like this I rarely took any time to do before because of how obsessive I became over pleasing that person that I was with 24/7. Sure, my laundry only gets done once a week now, but the gain from that is discovering what I like to do for me. Second: I should never be worried about expressing myself around strangers. As I mentioned above, I started to go out a lot more with my friends. More time out= more people and places. I've gained more new acquaintances in the last 3 months than I have in almost 4 years! I'm a great talker, and I love to chat it up with anyone, but you HAVE to GET OUT to meet them! Third: I am an attractive, beautiful person inside and out. Yes, this one is cheesy but most important of all. I always believed that I was a good person, but I never gave credit to my outward appearance and wore ratty clothes to 'prove a point' that your insides are all that matter. They are quite a big deal, but things can be hidden when you don't take the time to spend on your outside as well to match that sparkling personality. Treat yourself! You deserve it! There's nothing wrong with being selfless, however every good person should be good to themselves as well. Living alone has been an absolute journey of discovery that I couldn't have imagined would turn out like this. I chose it for myself, realizing that change was inevitable. Having forced myself to do this has made me grow into a much wiser human being. I'm thankful for the chance to have experienced it.
Change is a big deal. We can’t always hope for the golden cup to be placed into our hands, or for it to be a down-hill ride to success. There are so many things within my own life that I have been unable to do because I’ve been so reluctant to accept the change that slowly moves its’ way over me, my family and the many other people that surround me every day. I have never truly liked change. I enjoy returning to the same place again and again and finding everything exactly the way I left it from the previous time I was there. In fact, I can’t remember the last time that I walked in on a new surprise and not been upset by it. It isn’t a matter of whether or not it’s a good change; the point is is that I cannot emotionally feel comfortable when something that I have grown accustomed to has now changed. It’s an awkward way to begin a story; I do not deny that. However, I do know myself enough to admit the one true thing about me that will most likely never stray. A solid foundation makes for an excellent structure, and truth when paired with fact is nothing short of a cement slab. Really, what else is there to know? I could entertain you with the facts of my life events and tell you the tales of late night excursions with unnamed peoples but that wouldn’t effectively tell you how I feel about anything. I will share a story or more, there’s no doubt about that, but I can’t begin a story without an introduction. My lack of acceptance towards a world that never stops, a mind that does not sleep, and an environment that doesn’t ever cease to change; that is the start of me. When I am left alone with my thoughts, I often debate with myself about the moments of my life in which I considered myself successful. Now, define success. It can be measured several ways. You can be the well-known business owner that will never have to worry about his family going hungry, who is a common name in every household and receives hundreds of emails daily begging you for secrets on how to get where you are. You can also be the hard working homebody that lives in a rambler home, has three beautiful children that all have their eyes facing in the positive direction, and a spouse that makes life an adventure twenty-five years after your third child. Now, I define these as either social success or personal success. With social success, it’s 100% about how others view you. Personal success is much more self-explanatory; being as it is all about achieving contentment within your own person. True, both are arguable but neither is my real opinion on what success really is at the heart of it all. Success is making mistakes and learning from those experiences. It is about that long hike to the top, and which trail you decide to blaze. It is knowing who you are, and taking the necessary steps to make yourself happy in getting there. As you by now have already thought: How can one be successful without making necessary change? You are afraid of change! How on earth could you of all people be successful? The answer? It’s a simple thing honestly. Just because I hate things to be different than I expect doesn’t mean I let them hinder my progress. You cannot be successful if you let a silly thing like change stand in the way of your life, your dream, your goal, your progress.