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Lee Mona / Blog

Let's start with..

A good old-fashioned "hello", followed by a legitimate "how are you feeling today?". Many of those reading this will probably never notice that I took a 3 (?) year hiatus from music on Reverbnation and music in general. While I'd like to tell you it was for rest or at all for my benefit, it wasn't. [TW: Real talk], I let my inner critic break me down slowly for months (if not years),, then proceeded to cower in fear for the next what-felt-like-lifetime. I became a somewhat of a hermit while taking care of the beautiful child I made a couple years ago. Under the pressure of learning to become a mom (I mean, newborns - am I right??) I found that I couldn't sing him a simple lullaby without choking up or crying. A tiny, but endlessly prominent voice in the back of my mind would shout or whisper the worst things every moment I tried to connect with my passion. Each attempt at touching base with music, aside from listening passively, would end in tears and more fear. I didn't get into this for the attention, god no. This idea of having any amount of following - even by my own friends - gives me the shivers. I'll sing in front of a crowd, yeah, but that inner critic took the pieces of me that allowed me to accept praise. I'm fighting back though. One can't lie or hide these things anymore: it only sets you back. I've been looking at my brain a lot lately and maybe it's not everyone's business, but it's someone else's (whoever it is) business too, whether we like it or not. It doesn't have to be this way. I'll be posting more music soon, hopefully. Some original stuff that should've been posted a while ago and some new stuff. Like I said, I'm fighting back.