Life is ever-changing! Where I once thought I would be doing one thing, I find myself doing another. It's all for the same purpose though... TO FEEL LOVE AND JOY as much as possible. I have my days where I am completely there: in love and in joy. However, there are many days where I struggle. I struggle to see what I DO have and can only seem to focus on what is lacking. I've been like this my whole life. Actually, we are all like this a lot of the time. Focusing on what is NOT right in our lives. There is merit to that kind of attention, but that merit only reaches so far. It's good to know what is NOT right so we can become aware of it to change it, but it's even MORE good to know what IS right so that we can allow it to flow into our lives more naturally.
When I say the word "right" I am not referring to the rights and wrongs of society or simply what others may feel is right or wrong. What I am referring to is the inner knowing of what is RIGHT for OURSELF. Only I know what is right for me. Just as only you know what is right for you. Our minds don't really know shit about what's right for ourselves.... I believe it's our souls that know the truth of what is RIGHT FOR US. All that being said... My mind thinks I need to find a secure job, but my soul is clearly not on that path (at least for now).
I have a four-month old little girl named Mira. She is such a light in my life. An unexpected present to my existence. She has been teaching me so much already and I only expect more lessons from her. Recently I've been facing my mind with the thought that I need to find a secure job with benefits. It's very practical and very smart, however the universe is turning me down left and right. I am more than qualified to work as a cashier at Whole Foods, but they didn't want me because of my music.
I take that as a sign. I guess I'm meant to continue playing music for the masses. Whether it be for a group of children or a loud obnoxiously awesome group of drunk people dancing or anyone in between those two extremes... I love to perform. I also love to write and record... just been a while since I've done either. But like anything... ebbs and flows.
I don't know how often I'll actually write in this blog, but when I do... I'm sure it'll be as spontaneous and random as this writing was. Thanks for reading and listening! I hope to see you out and about with a smile sometime.