Two Hour Delay / Blog

Tom's take...

From: TOM MATTERN Date: Wed, Apr 10, 2013 Subject: know the drill Warning: the new Courtyard Marriott opposite Kitty Hoynes on W. Fayette and Franklin may not open in time for your visit to downtown Syracuse this Friday, April 12, at 9 pm, but don't get complacent. Soon enough you'll be competing for tables and specials all over Armory Square with all sorts of people from all over the world, particularly colorful invaders from ACC cities, predominantly southern, who may be visiting downtown Syracuse for the first time. Here are some tips.

Give yourself whatever time you usually need to park as close as you usually do or walk from wherever to Kitty Hoynes, the beating heart of Armory Square. Use the W. Fayette St. entrance. Before entering, check out the Courtyard Marriott across the street. You are thirsty and maybe hungry too, but bear with yourself.

Imagine you've been traveling in time back to the golden era of inland waterways. You are on a small boat. The boat is hung up on debris along the bank of a small creek. Time passes quickly.

The boat breaks free and is carried downstream by the current. You and three or four friends abandon ship and make for dry land. The creek is choked with chicken wire and tires and begins to smell like industrial pollutants.

You grab hold of a hearty invasive species and pull yourself out of the drink. Litter begins to disappear. You vault over a steel railing and land on a sidewalk. Your clothes are dry and there is a hint of Garnier Fructis in the air. You are hungry and thirsty. You are tired.

Welcome to the Courtyard Marriott! What a great idea! Your room has a panoramic view of O'Brien and Gere. Check out the tv. A little nap, a nice hot shower. Get dressed, make your way to the lobby. Avoid elevators if you can. The new Courtyard Marriott is filled with bright red Wolfpack fans. Alcohol is involved.

Speed up. Southerners are generally more laid back than we are up here and tend to move slowly when they do move. Scamper around them. Think of our fabled black squirrels.

Find your way quickly out the door and across the street. Jaywalk if you have to. Remember: they might be moving slowly, but they are still moving! Send one of your friends back to impede the nearest group. For example: ask what makes Carolina bar-be-que so special. Proceed unchallenged to the last free table at Kitty Hoynes. Your friend should join you in about an hour. Southerners are usually more relaxed than we are up here and tend to talk more slowly than we do. Be patient. Remember: they might be talking slowly, but they are still talking!

Your are now swimming in the beating heart of Armory Square. Free entertainment. Catch the show, stay as late as you want, then one for the road and back across the street to your room in the new Courtyard Marriott. Well done. Slow down. Back a wee bit. Stop imagining now. Return to Kitty Hoynes 9 pm Friday, April 12, 2013, this Friday, April 12, 9 pm. Enter. Have a seat or stand. Enjoy a draft, stick around for breakfast. 2 Hour Delay is on the house.