So working out this week I realized this thing is truly hard my body hurt my mind hurt and oh my ego hurt. I felt the mind game of being in a gym with gorgeous bodies and not being one of them started to get to me. I have been good on my lifestyle change in the food department and know that I must keep up the physical aspect as well. I know if I just diet I will be a bag of sand and I need definition. I dont know how people do it though my weight feels safe and I am losing that motivation to continue and push through. My trainer is great but I just dont feel like going everyday. Although since losing weight my dating life is on an upswing lol but I still dont find it becoming the cause of why I am working out. I need to look internally and find what it is that I am missing why am I not doing this for me and me alone? This and more next week
Hey every body this week I almost went dark. It was a very trying week, I had a friend from out of the country come to visit and they wanted to eat every thing I could not. I cheated I ate like a pig my will power was up but the peer pressure wore me down. Ice cream, cake, fried food, and even straight up candy. If it was bad it was in my mouth no counting calories or anything. I don't know why my mind did not register that I should have stopped, after thinking about the situation I found it was because of old habits and feelings. I know I want to lose weight but my weight has been with me all my life. It is the one thing I can always count on my weight and food. Relationships fade excitement does as well but food can stay around forever as long as you know how to cook and I can do some mean cooking you know. I have to figure out what is holding me back mentally that makes me feel secure albeit not happy but safe in the weight? If you know what I am talking about feel free to chime in. I know I have to lose it to do an album cover and to further pursue my dreams but it is a road block here and I do not know why.
Today was uber terrible I heard a great song and thought my morning would be AMAZING and it was I did my little power walk and then I realized I would have to work out today. As I do it more I hate it less and since I slacked on yesterday and had an appointment with my trainer today was mandatory.
*HINT* If your are plump take your chicken money and pay for your sessions up front that way you will not cancel when you not feeling it.
So as I'm on my way to get a cup of oatmeal for breakfast from a little restaurant near my job and I ran out of my Dannon yogurt light that I have been eating for breakfast at work, I realize I forgot my debit card and cash at home. All I had was $3.00 and some change. I thought how can I find something that I can be healthy low in calories and easy on a empty wallet and keep me satisfied until I get home?????
I pondered and realized I had to suck it up and get a burger and I knew I couldn't eat the bread just the protein. As I sat and pondered while I ate I realize if you do not have money in this world how can you be healthy? The only things that are offered at fast food joints on the dollar/value menus are salads with an expired shelf life and food that is full of grease. How can we solve this problem because after being 500 lbs and losing 200lbs and now on the journey to lose 200 lbs more I know I need to figure out a solution. What are your suggestions?
I went to the gym and released so much aggression and tension I also realized that after making a few healthier choices this week and being more active I have lost 10lbs I am on my way to doing a topless album cover and maybe completely nude *WINK WINK* well its been a swell day and thank you for reading
Today starts the journey. I will blog at least 3 x a week until I get signed. I will bring you all into my life as an artist. Talking about my weight loss because I want to do a topless photo shoot or hell even naked for an album cover and I also want to complete my album. during this time frame I am going to become transparent and thats ok. If you like me and want to help on this journey let me know and you might end up in a story. Today I weight 350 lbs. Just joined the gym and will be working out I also just finished writing 2 amazing songs. lets see if everything can come together and btw please reach out if you like.