It was a brisk spring morning in April 2011 that the founding members crossed paths in the most likely ways possible! Randal Hickman made his way into that fateful court room shackled and chained awaiting his fate to be decided ,on 47 counts of cattle thievery and facing life in Folsom ,when he fired his lawyer on the spot and made his way to the bench. Upon his arrival in front the Honorable Judge Presley the judge spat his bourbon on the floor and yelled “And to what do I owe this most unpleasant of occurances?’’ Randal hollered back “Judge I have decided to change my ways and make an honest livin”! Judge Presley snarled and sneered back “ And just how do you plan to do that”? Randal replied, “ Remove these shackles and chains and I will show you”! As his restraints were removed in walked two female officers carrying a very large coffin shaped box. They laid the box on the floor in front of Randal, the judged laughed in disbelief as Randal removed a golden three quarter sized upright bass. All in an instant the outlaw spun that bass on its endpin and began the most brutal onslaught of triplet slapping you had ever seen and just as quickly the two female officers rippped off their uniforms down to their black satin and lace underwear and began moving as if they were performers in a burlesque show. As Randal wrapped up his performance the entire room erupted in applause as the judge stood to his feet and said “ you my son are destined for greatness, acquitted on all charges”! The female officers loaded the bass up as Randal flung his hair back slid his sunglasses down his nose and turned to head out the door. Just Before he made it out a stranger stopped him to inquire his name and the outlaw said “ they call me Hellbilly”!
Hellbilly decided to stop off at a local saloon to celebrate his new lease on life with an ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon. As he sat at the bar listenin to the records spin in walked a young man with a buzzsaw haircut and an attitude that couldn’t be rivaled by the devil himself. The young man took the seat next to Hellbilly and ordered himself a whiskey straight no ice. The two men exchanged stories of women and their long history of run ins with the law and as Hellbilly explained to the young man what had just occurred in the court room the youngun stood up and said ‘’well it just so happens I pick a little bit and do my fair share of singin”! He took a step back, cracked his knuckles and began to belt out an old Carl Perkins tune in a tone so majestic it was only to be matched by the angels that descended through the ceiling lowering his pearl white Gretsch guitar! His fingers flew across the frets with such ease and beauty that the man closest to was shot in the head by the man behind him just so he could get a closer look. He played on for a few minutes and when he was finished the bar had erupted weeping tears of joy! Making his way back to the bar the young said by the way the names David Stark. The bartender exclaimed as he sat back down “ son you made that man commit murder in my bar” to which Mr. Stark replied “ Homicide is just a fact of life”.
The two men decided to make their way to the back of the bar to discuss their future when they happened upon a table filled with nine big breasted, tattoed Pinup Queens and a surly Italian. They asked if they might commandeer the end of the table to conduct business and the man obliged. As they conversed they noticed that the man and the women were playing a game of strip poker and began watching. A good thirty minutes had passed and the Italian had the women down to there underwear and he proclaimed “ I’m taking bras with this next hand” and in true fashion as the rest of the game went the women were on the losing end. The Italian stood up and in a quick snap and crack like lightning he popped every bra at the table and was standing back at his seat with all nine dangling from his finger tips. Stark took quick notice and remembering the talk he and Hellbilly were having he asked “ What’s your name and with hands that quick tell me you bash the skins”! “Victor Seeley” he said “My friends call me Smytie, that’s short for show me your titties and yes I play the skins, who’s askin”? As the pair relinquished their story and their future plans on Beginning their brand of High Octane Rockabilly Smyties smile grew from ear to ear as they shook hands!
The rest is being written as you read this these three men are slaving away to bring you the best in stage entertainment and musical pleasure! Hellbilly Homicide