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David Sword was killed by a Brontosaurus pelvis which fell on him at the Smithsonian at the age of 12. He didn't let that stop him, however, and we really think that should be an inspiration to us all, especially those who think tragic accidents in Natural History Museums are the last stop on the hit parade. Mr. Sword dedicated his life to making weird songs and his death to singing them in public. He has 11 theories, 10 of which he can definitely prove are false. Mr. Sword can carry a tune but where he is taking it is anybodies guess. He was an early investor in Monopoly money futures and is therefore listed in the latest issue of Forbes Magazine as the 3,646,981,711th richest person in the world. "David Sword" is a stage name; he asked his Mom for his birth name and she said it was "Get a job." David accidentally signed up in the Taliban when he tragically misunderstood a recruiter who he thought was enlisting "sewerside bummers". David Sword will NOT seduce his female backing singers, unless EXPLICITLY instructed to do so by a FULLY AUTHORIZED agent of the ONE TRUE GODDESS or one of her EARTHLY SIRENS, or the guy that comes around every morning with an ice cream cart.