I like to invite people to free shows advertising free drugs and alcohol and then lock the doors and throw mass interventions. I'm the only rapper to transition to ballet, emo, disco, and then successfully go back to hip-hop. I join gangs for free coffee at the meetings. I sell gimmicks and lie about about my lifestyle through my music. I poke holes in condoms. I've never punched a child, they usually respond to hard slaps. I tell other people's kids that Santa died at Wal-mart. I help old ladies halfway across the street and then run the rest of the way to hit the crosswalk button exposing them oncoming traffic. I lead peoples animals away from their house with food and then call them to say I found their pet and would like a reward. I will siphon your gas when I still have 3/4 of a tank. I don't like to brag, I just think it's best to remind others how much better I am than them. I go to other people's funerals to try and sell insurance to their families. I make fun of stranger's haircuts, even when they look good. I pretend I have superpowers and refuse to use them when people are in trouble. I de-pants my girlfriend every time we're in line at the store. I will send you to Scientology Hell if I don't like your face.