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Woodpecker is made by adding Ryan Fagan, Valerie Clark, Nathan Fagan, Truman Burchfield, battery acid, beer, the pain of a thousand dying voices crying out and then being suddenly silenced, unicorn giggles, and spam together in a slow-cooker filled with the best of intents and yak spit for 10 days on high heat. At the end of cook time, throw the entire contents and slow-cooker into an abyss from whence it cannot return.
The "band" was originally called "Psycho Billy Cadillac" and consisted of Ryan Fagan and Truman Burchfield playing together in a storage shed the size of a closet in the magical land of Spring, Texas. Ryan's brother Nathan joined them in the closet and, with Ryan's snappy tunes to spur them on, they began pounding out hot and heavy noise. Sometime or other later, Nathan and Ryan's cousin, Valerie Clark from Dallas, was inducted against her will (because they "needed a chick in the band") and made to write more songs for the and clean their filthy, blackened socks. Thus the unholy madness that is Woodpecker began.
The four members are longtime friends and have played together in various other incarnations and bands over the years but never together until 2008 when Bob Newhart appeared to them laden with candy and kazoos and persuaded them that there was really nothing else to be done. They must and would become a band!
The "band" has spent at least 3 years recording what they call a "demo." It's really a toy smurf from the 80's burnt and melted beyond recognition by a sadistic child (also from the 80s but who shall remain anonymous.) Don't buy it if Woodpecker offers it to you. Do not engage them in conversation. They are, all of them, completely delusional.