SHANE: He once wrestled a bear whilst simultaneously feeding and grooming it's cubs. He doesn't play the drums with sticks...just his pinkies. Also, he makes a mean frappuccino. He is the least interesting person in the world.
BRIAN: This gentleman received his PHD from Bad Guy Supervillain College where he graduated with highest Honors. He enjoys death rays, sinister lab coats, prematurely revealing his master plans, general destruction, and collecting Charlie Brown Coffee mugs.
MYKE: This ex-con is a rough and tumble cop with a heart of gold, a thirst for vengeance, and a taste for justice. His particular brand of justice being the cold steel of 357. The other fellas on the force will tell you, sure, he's a loose cannon, but he always gets the job done.
SWINE SMILES is a band that specializes in the rock and/or roll genre of music formed in 2008-ish. They have enjoyed little to no success.
This is more than likely due to numerous run ins with sheisty record companies and promoters, name/member changes, general dollarless-ness, and an impressive lack of social networking knowledge.
But you're gonna change all that, right random internet gods?
See, while you may not have heard of these guys, turns out, they're seriously pretty damned good.
And really, let's face it...You're absolutely sick to death of listening to all your metal, pop, indie, screamo hooplah what-have-you and you're ready for some good old meat and potatoes, original, and genuinely batshit awesome rock n roll.
So give them a listen.
You've been good this year, and honestly, you owe it to yourself to stop listening to shitty music on your early morning work commute and start your days right with a big ol' bowl of Swine Smiles.
Please and thank you,
- Ricochet Christmas
Generic Action Hero Magazine Award Winner 92'