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In the days that followed the creation of this planet, God said fuck it and banished three angels that had been mistreating their fellows and relentlessly fucking with the mortals. These three wretched souls were cast to Earth to redeem themselves. Over time the angels kept habitually mating with each other and taking the bodies of their descendants as hosts. In ancient Greece, they plotted assassinations and got all fucked up on opium and wine and went to orgies. During the Black Plague they acted as plague doctors and performed horrifying experiments in their torture chambers and brothels. In the Old West, they were wicked shitkickers and shot the faces off every bank teller on the transcontinental railroad.
In 2008 these souls reunited in a back alley of downtown Minneapolis, beating up an old man and drinking whiskey from a trash bin. They decided to start a band called Thee Evil Creatures so they could force their brand of insidious filth on the seething masses.
There's no word yet on the whole redemption project, but it's rumored that they've discovered a method to build a bridge into heaven out of melted faces and sexual juices.
All songs recorded by Rob Oesterlin in an abandoned living room, excepting "The Future," which was slapped together in Cass' apartment one morning.