Fellow Americans, ladies and gentlemen. Let me tell you a story. A story a great and powerful nation. A nation feared. A nation respected. This nations name was The United States of America.

Recent days have seen a different America however. Weaker. Hated. Contemptible. This my friends, is unacceptable. The voters have handed the nation to a shaved chimp. Todays conservatives lack spine and conviction.

So I've clawed my way out of the pits of hell. Risen from the dead. Here to reclaim glory for America. Today I stand before you as; Zombie Reagan, Undead President!!!