I learned today a simple way to be celebrity
Just hang my dirty laundry out on nationwide TV
A television studio’s a place I’ve never been
The public eye just loves a guy who’s sordid and obscene
Soon you’ll see my ugly face on White Trash TV

I’m not too bright - I love to fight while people cheer me on
The tabloid paparazzi started camping on my lawn
I think I saw on L.A. Law I should get royalties
A seven-digit figure should be written out to me
I’m the star of Season Three on White Trash TV

Hey, Ma! Hey, Pa! Get a load of me
Hey, Pa! Hey, Ma! On every TV screen
I rehearsed for four whole days (but drank for twenty-three)
My greasy chin and black-toothed grin and bloated face
On White Trash TV I’m the star of Season Three
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na! Wheeeee!

Hey, Ma! Hey, Pa! The camera sure loves me
Tell Gramps and Grandma I’m star of Season Three
Tell Aunt Jenn and Uncle Clem to turn on their TV
My episode’s in syndicate on White Trash TV
Wheeeee! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!