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The Performance Enhancing Suppositories

Rank #104 UK UK Other


  • Mad Michael Bass
  • Me Vocals
  • the Click Drums
  • The Breeze Guitar
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Bio: Non bio, 200% alcohol! Caution: can cause temporary (and in severe cases permanent madness)! Come to a gig.... We dare you!!!

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Posted a new photo: "What Inevitably Happens to People in This Band!!!" http://www.reverbnation.com/q/59f0x2


"They make me look like a trustworthy character, mate" - Rolf Harris
โ€” Animal Jail Hospital
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Oct 25, 2014
We've recorded two more of our long-overdue stupidity-filled, Rock 'n' Roll song... [more]
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  • 2013

    Aug 31

    Killin, UP NO, UK | 12:00pm
    KillinRocks 2013
    Killin, UP NO, UK
    Sat Aug 31, 2013 12:00pm


    If there's one thing that gets on the tits of us Rock 'n' Roll bands: it's cancer! Totally fucks the day up so each year this festival is held to raise money towards fighting the disease! It's held in Killin (the middle of nowhere), North East of Stirling! If you're a fan of Brian Kerr this is a must-see event as the whore is in about twelve of the bands playing that day (including this one)! So c'mon: let's bring civilization to the Highlands (then demolish it), AND toe cancer right in the balls at the same time! To the other bands: I'm sorry if I've misspelled anyone's name or put another band with the same name in your place (you unimaginative PUBES)! If anybody notices any errors either give me a shout and I'll change it or we can bottle each other to death at the festival! See you August 31st!

  • 2013

    Jun 11

    Glasgow, UK | 6:30pm

    Glasgow, UK
    Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:30pm


    I believe it's a glam gig so we're gonna be just like Gary Glitter (with more underage girls)

  • 2013

    May 22

    Glasgow, UK | 7:00pm

    Glasgow, UK
    Wed May 22, 2013 7:00pm


    We were asked if we wanted to play a "punk" gig! We said "yes please"! Everyone should go or WE'LL KILL THEM!!! Any excuse to drink and go mad! Rum in the cupboard! Rum in the cupboard!

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  • The Performance Enhancing Suppositories (Artist) The Performance Enha...
    We're back with new recordings and a new drummer and an even worse attitude than before!!!
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Ask The Performance Enhancing Suppositories anything...

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Q: How do you keep your singer looking so mental? I've been banging my own eyes and backcombing everyday but I just can't get that professional psycho look. Help?
A: Dear Anonymous, It does help being genuinely mentally ill, however don't threat if you're only a nutter at the weekends: you can still look like a genuine Peter Tobin with minimal effort! Firstly: sleep all day and sit up all night! This will prevent the sun from getting to your skin and keep you nice 'n white. The lack of vitamin D (which is extracted from sunlight), will cause irrational thinking: the essential mind-frame for psychos and watch-breakers everywhere. Secondly: Fall out with the entire neighborhood! Nothing makes you appear more ill-at-ease and jittery than constantly looking over your shoulder in nervous anticipation of the next beating! If you want a fast-track way to looking like the bluntest tool in the sandwich bag I would suggest purchasing a bottle of rum (dark), two cases of beer, cheap vodka, fruit juice and a large bag of speed. Lock yourself in a room overnight and listen to "the Seaside" by the Cardiacs and "Thing Fish" by Frank Zappa over and over! You can also come and hang around with me for a day and that will make you look truly manic! If you take this advice you'll have mothers telling their children to stay away from you in a week! Good luck! Michael!!!

Asked by anonymous. Answered on Wed Apr 03 2013


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