She wore a purple hat
In the chair where she was sat
Lookin' like a lady
Very much a lady

I walked up to her
And I asked her to dance
The look in her eyes
Oh, they put me in a trance

My purple-hatted lady
My purple-hatted lady

Lady, lady, lady, lady, lady
My purple-hatted lady
My lady, oh, my lady

We went home
To her place
And she hit me (ouch!)
In the face

She was no lady
Like I had hoped she was
She was a man
I think his name was Gus

My purple-hatted transvestite