"The Food sounds like God coughing through a megaphone during a college graduation speech while getting a blowjob from the hot principal hidden beneath the podium".
"Ever been hit in the ear with a leg of Rock and Roll mutton that's been dipped in liquid chrome and then coated with pepper spray? Not recommended for pregnant women, the elderly, or those faint of heart. Everyone else not listed above will thoroughly enjoy The Food however. I could go on but someone's knocking at the door right now".
“10 lbs. of Rock in a 5 lb. bag.”
“The Food tastes good going down, but terrible coming up.”
"Cuter than a puppy wrapped inside of a kitten".
“(THE FOOD)* has emerged from the garage swinging and packing heat with short and gritty nuggets of gnarled pop nastiness.” — AP KRYZA, Willamette Week *Actually this was a review for Ex-Girlfriends Club”
“The Food will make you hungry for Johnny Ramone guitar cake topped with a Chuck Berry.”
“Musically speaking, The Food are like nothing you've ever heard before, because you've probably never heard them before. This is their fault for not better documenting what they do in any formats other than live performance. But that's what they love and are working on coming up with slick polished shit that will blow people away via internet on a global scale. Ambitious, you say? Sure, why not. But more to come so stay tuned and keep your decoder rings at the ready...”