Scotty Melton is a singer-songwriter whose songs have been recorded by artists as diverse as the great Reagan Boggs to legendary Nashville garage rockers Les Honky More Tonky. He has also written songs with Austin musician Dustin Welch, but his biggest success as a songwriter has been his work as...See Full Bio
Q: I was just wondering if, in all your studying, you'd yet discovered why turds are tapered...??
A: Well, Anonymous, funny you should ask! I have, indeed, discovered why turds are tapered, but the answer is difficult to explain to the uninitiated. You see, assholes come in all different shapes and sizes. Some assholes are quick, while others are slow; some asshole are more open, while others are more reserved. One thing all assholes have in common is that they all spew shit! Now as to why turds are tapered, this is of course relative to the asshole in question. In answer to your question, there are multiple reasons, however I shall answer philosophically: turds are tapered to make kids ask questions and to teach you not to take your ass so seriously! Hope that helps Anonymous! SM