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Nichole Elmore / Blog

April 20 2011, 11:30pm; Day 186: Radio 180; Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Part 1: Pain In Change. "Time may change me; but I can't change time..." David Bowie "Changes" (1999 Digital Remaster, )David Bowie; The Best of David Bowie If you haven't ever met someone raised by hippies and to a large extent in festival backstage’s it might actually surprise you to know that I'm actually pretty resistant to change. If have met kids like me you're not at all surprised by this grand revelation. Backstage kids fall into two distinct categories as adults: Those who go with the flow, and those who have an almost pathological need to control where the flow is going. The Beautiful Wife falls solidly into the second category. And me? I'm not as Type A, but I do work in the box office; so what does that tell you? Even my wandering years were dominated by lists and plans; side trips were plotted out in advance (Dad's frequent side trips and "short cuts" might have traumatized me a little as well.) I think I'm capable of great spontaneity; but only in measured doses. I like knowing where my shits at, color coded, pretty much at all times. That's why in over a decade of substance abuse I rarely lost my keys, my phone, or my wallet (just my mind which I wasn't using much.) I don't think it's strictly luck that prevented me from getting a DUI, dieing on the road, killing others and generally kept me out of jail, although that was a huge part of it; the rest was a bloody minded need for order that wasn't going to let me stray outside the lines. I also believe that's what kept me so very employable for so much longer than I really was. I was the kid that made a point of coloring inside the line. I'm the kind of women who organizes her socks by color and type and my panties by relative sexiness. I'm not an uncreative person; I just like order. (view the rest at damagedelmore.blogspot.com