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29 Mules / Blog

SAD, HAPPY, FAKE, REAL, NOTING, EVERYTHING

MULENCARNATION: The end product of a life time of mule work: E.G. One works their ass off their entire life to die broke and physically beaten, only to be reborn, broker and handicapped?

MULE GRIP: An extremely powerful hold, usually precedes a mule punch or kick.

MULE FODDER: An excretion so vile its presence wasn't accepted by the church until 1899 during a secret meeting of free masons and illuminati assasins.

MULTI MULE HYSTERIA: a dangerous yet completely benign form of self pleasure, note to the timid and frail, DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!

NONMULENSHIP- Very simple? Compliance to controlled chaos is the only way mules can survive. If the party or parties in mention can't or wont comply by the extremely loose standard here set before the mule council, then he, she, or they will be mulelisized fom the mule collective

MULE COUNCIL: A collection of non compliant, unruly, mules who judge the activity of all mules in the collective

MULE COLLECTIVE: all of the working mules suffering on this planet

MULEALITY

Every living creature has their own, and completely unique experience of existence. For the organic simple, E.G.: bacteria, algae, simple cell organisms, etc, we assume are the basics, and perceive absolutely nothing.

For the organic medium, hence: Possums, chickens, little warm puppies?

Reality is undefined. The 29mules will explain this reality throughout our lifetime.

THIS FIRST LESSON WILL EXPLAIN muleality THROUGH THE EYES OF A PARROT:

What am am I? YOU ARE A PARROT!!!! What's that? A FEATHERED CREATURE WHO FLYS AND SPEAKS! Who does that? FOR INSTANCE, YOU DO! Hmmmm? MULEALITY, that's MULEALITY

MULE DEFINITIONS CONT.

MULE SNACK: Anything edible within a general vicinity of a mule

MULE CHIP: The end result of a mule snack

MULE HUG: By definition a quick grasping of torsos, lasting no more than 3 seconds. A 2-3 second margin of error is allotted due to any external situation. i.e. death in the hug receivers family, receiver of hug may be the father,sister,mother,etc. Also sad goodbyes

MULE HOLD: First used to describe the uncomfortable period when a mule hug has exceeded 10 seconds, with a non- situationally appropriate hug receiver. Also later used as a submission hold by Bruce Lee himself.

MULE PUNCH: LT. Ancient style of combat. So secret and deadly only true mule masters may learn it.

ADDITIONAL MULE DICTIONARY

MULELANOMICS: The ecomomic system of using cheap labor, hence the mules, to maximize one's profit margin. eg. overloading unfed mules for miles and months.

MULE TAX: The sum of the collection all of the mistreated mules stand to collect.

MULE BAIT: The ingenious plot created to lure an unexpected mule into servitude.

MULE HONEY: Simply accepted as the most desirable of all taboo delicacies.

MULEGIBBERISH: A secret language accidently invented by drunken mules, only understood by drunken mules, and spoken only by drunken mules

MULE BURGER: Known better as "the best damn burger known by mankind"

MULE MANIFESTO

As a mixture of many parts we all have a similarity that is a combination of everything.

Our connection is as fluid as the flow of a river. Our differences are as meaningless as a millisecond. So here and now, we share it all. We involuntarily provide each other with reality.

THE MULES NO LONGER TRY TO CONTROL THE UNCONTROLLABLE THE MULES NO LONGER BLOCK THE LINE AT DENNY'S THE MULES WILL NEVER STOMP A BUNNY THE MULES WILL ALWAYS SHARE A JOINT THE MULES LOVES some PEANUT BUTTER THE MULES WANT PARTIAL PEACE THE MULES BEG FOR UNCONDITIONAL INDIFFERENCE THE MULES ALWAYS KNOW VERY LITTLE THE MULES DESIRE A TORTA EL PASTOR THE MULES ENJOY BOOGIE WOOGIE, HOOCHIE COOCHIE THE MULES APPARENTLY SMELL FUNNY THE MULES LIKE YA'LL THE MULES NEED TO FUCKING ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MULETRATE

MULETRATE: The act of persuasion eliciting the sale of mule dreams.

Simply, convincing one that they in fact can be a mule, purely by going through the motions, as opposed to having the passion to do nothing else but being a mule.

Mule Time

MULE SECOND: actually the same amount of time as a regular second, but seems a whole lot longer.

MULE MINUTES: pl. only occurs after one has already experienced 119 mule seconds. unexplainable phenomena.

MULE YEAR: literally the worst and longest time lapse anybody should ever have to live through.

See MULELICIDE.

MULELINIZE

The simple act of convincing another person to carry way more than their own loads.

To add weight to one's pack.

Also in the early 19th century referred to the ever growing amount of mule wrestling rings.

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