It all started a couple of weeks back when we got an email from Furyon asking if we could support them on 3 of their UK tour dates. Sadly with other commitments we could only do the opening night in Birmingham.
After a warm up gig with new drummer, Allan Gardner, on Tuesday in Preston we thought he had bailed and decided not to meet us for the trip to Birmigham! Turns out his time keeping is as bad outside the band as it is onstage! The 5 of us set out from Lancaster in one van laden with gear ready to rock!
40 minutes in we thought we are about to die as a massive thunder storm hit complete with three massive fork lightening strikes, which looked close enough to rip us a new one and singe Dan's overly straigtened beard. On top of this a rain storm so bad that we could barely see the car infront battered us. Despite the concerns we made it through the other side! We found Birmingham in plenty of time but the venue didn't open for an hour so we set off to find a boozer. It only took us 40 minutes!! It was my fault entirely I have this mechanism whereby I just walk without any real concept of which direction I should be going in which means I spend a good amount of my time lost. I, of course, got the blame as I was in front and the others didn't think to say it was not the way we came!!
The pub we got to had the biggest guy in the world on the door, smoking, covered in tribal ink and complete with the Adidas symbol on the back of his neck. If the rain didn't kill us we were pretty sure he would. He seemed nice enough though and let us enter the premesies with our necks still attached to our spines - a result we thought.
At the bar we put in the least rock n roll order in history - 2 lemonades, 2 blackcurrant and sodas and a coke!! As if a metal band walk in to a bar anywhere and order that - we deserve tohave lost our lives for that alone - we once again survived unscathed.
Sound check was a pretty simple affair with a great sound man and we quickly went to get some food before we started.
Another long stretch of road was walked because all we could find were Indian takeaways and much to mine and Allan's absolute horror, Barry doesn't like curry. He then exclaimed that he was ordering Chips and Curry sauce at the chippy to which I confirmed that if he did, that order would just as quickly appear on his face which would be left seriously burnt and scarred. He does love a wind up our Barry (you can send flowers and gifts to the Burns Unit at Lancaster Infirmary FAO Barry Burns Unit Mills).
Three bands on the night Black Road Home, Promethium and Furyon. It went very smoothly and we made some great contacts for that area too.
We left pretty swiftly after Furyon, who were awesome, with our badly burned and scarred bass player Barry, fuelled up with two cans of Monster Energy Drink, in the driving seat. This where the misery began really.
Barry was unhappy with his life on the journey, he slated everything from the choppers in the cars sharing the road to the music we had on and my attitude. I do think he found a new love though The Dillinger Escape Plan. We played one track - he wasn't impressed. Later he asked if we had any more and before we could answer he simply said "Well if you do shove it up your arse!"
At the services while getting petrol Rossi and I stopped for coffee. Rossi not usually known for his mental retardation managed to get a large cup, a small drink in it and once back in the van realised that he had infact cocked up further by simply getting warm milk instead of the required cappachino to go with it. Subsequently, he was asleep in no time.
We arrived home about 2.30am and planted a sausage roll tree in Dans garden by simply chucking a left over suasage roll in his bush along with a litre of coke. None of us actually realised his gardener was due the next day.....I am sure he can give us tips on how to cultivate the sausage roll tree further. Free sausage rolls anyone?