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I don't think I have to make much of a case for saying that we truly are failing each other and ourselves as human beings and so called children of God. What the hell is wrong with us? I'm disgusted by the things I'm seeing and the bullshit I am hearing in society. Nothing but a bunch of hateful and idiotic bullshit. People that can actually sit and list excuses why it is acceptable for a police officer, soldier or even just a civilian put multiple bullets into someone who is on their knees with their hands in the air and shoot them to dead. It should not even matter that this kid was black, but it does matter and it takes an ignorant bastard to argue with that. Cops aren't gunning down white teens and believe me white teens are doing WORSE than what these black kids supposedly did (which I'm still pretty unclear on what Mike Brown or Travyon did that earned them immediate death sentences to be carried out right on the spot without even ever having cuffs slapped on ya...I know Zimmerman wasn't a cop but that's exactly why I just said "civilians" a few sentences ago. I do think and hope the looting and rioting stops in St. Louis because I don't want to see ANYBODY killed and that goes for both sides, I'm tired of the endless bloodshed and the pain it spreads. The hate is smothering the shit out of us and it's just senseless. But if you're going to be fired up then you should be putting the energy that is rage and REALLY doing some shit to change shit out there. Let's start being as aggressive towards gangbangers and who ever the hell else is out there killing our teens whether black or white, latino, etc. all of our kids are getting gunned the hell down and we gotta do something about it and I'm not talking about petitions or lawsuits, new laws, repealing current laws, appeals, pleas, none of that shit....Stand up and unite as the PEOPLE, take our communities back and turn shit around the way we're supposed to do... We're failing each other and we're failing ourselves on this planet, in this world we just don't deserve to be here if you really think about it...Luckily there's no God up there and all that religious shit is bullshit, right?
I could simply type "Fuck You" and click save and be done with it. For anybody that finds themselves uttering the stupidly stupid and ignorant words that somebody is "selfish" for committing suicide. For those who have the audacity to call anybody "weak" for attempting or succeeding in suicide. But for the sake of blogging I am not going to over simplify the shit for the sake of those assholes. Pardon my use of words that most people would deem "profane", but if people are allowed to say things like "Robin Williams was selfish for committing suicide" then nobody better say a damn thing about my fuck or shit in my own damn blog, nobody did ASK you to read it, so if offended, move along please, you're not needed here if an F bomb is what offends you, and I say this with all due respect... Who are any of us? and How DARE any of us take it upon ourselves to judge ANYBODY on this earth so foolishly and flat out disrespectfully? Who made any of us the standard in what's right or wrong or made any of us the decider on what is "tough" in society/life and what is weak and who is selfish? Isn't life itself selfish? The selfish ones are those who have the nerve to dare knock anybody else for how they've dealt (or not dealt) with THEIR pain? Every one of us has our own life to live, our own world to live in and while people can RELATE to others they could never ever feel or experience the pains (or pleasures even) the same way someone else does. We should be putting our minds to helping on another instead of so harshly and idiotically judging one another and that just isn't what is happening, at least as much as is should be. Snap the hell out of this crap and start saying and doing things to make things better instead of spewing the dumb stuff and pointing your fingers at others like somehow you are high and mighty. Depression is a very serious thing to struggle with and if you think it's simple and easy, you just don't get it therefor should not even speak about it out of ignorance. Now that's real...
It's been a fairly weak summer this year. After my two weeks of hospitalization in April I've been unable to get back to business and it's pretty damn annoying. I'm hoping to have a few new songs done very soon and also hope to start working on some tracks featuring some other artists and getting things done on THEIR tracks as well. Starting to feel like collabs are really what I need right now, like they are the next step for me to take. Oh yeah....by the way... Be on the look out for some MAJOR changes soon..
I've stumbled onto a new concept for me as far as "albums" go. I have decided that I will give each year a particular "title" and during the course of that whole year, every song that I write and record will be a part of that album.
I'm currently in the process of my "Mental Dizorder" album, which I started right in the beginning of January 2014 and every song I do until new year's eve will blah blah blah yada yada yada
I am always in deep thought. I'll often sit and just stare off into space just lost in thought. The bipolar meds at least slow my thoughts down enough for me to actually focus on some things. Without my meds though, my mind races like craaaaazy and I would not even be able to write this blog, and that is truly a nightmare. I hate this bipolar shit but I am glad I got enough support around me or else I'd have been dead a long time ago.
I'm excited about the next few months, I'll be working on a new "album" and continue putting myself out there. Thank you all for the support, you've no idea how much I appreciate it. I don't have much confidence in myself, never did, but lately I've been a bit proud of how I'm doing. Now I'm looking to hit that #1 spot, local AND national...
Started off with a lil bit of cold like symptoms yesterday, thought it was just a weak lil thing that would go away but hell no, this shit has me feeling like i'm on my deathbed n shit. My head is killin me but it's not a headache, it's crazy...Weak as hell, and on top of all of that I feel myself slipping into a depression. The Mania lasted well over a few weeks but these past couple of days I've been starting to feel very down and out, starting to doubt myself once again. Hopefully I'll be able to at least get some good songs out of it but I hate feeling like this, Bipolar disorder is gonna be the death of me....that or some bullets, i'm a marked man just for speaking truth
It's not political so I'm not launching the cliche and overdone diss tracks against government because the evil in this world goes way beyond those governing it. It's easy to point fingers at politicians because it's easy to have an enemy who's name you know and to know what you're dealing with. Within our own minds there is an enemy and we don't take the time to acknowledge our own demons. They say don't judge a book by it's cover, but that's all we do when it comes to this world and that to me is the biggest mistake. We fight over everything and anything. Race, gender, sexual preference, political alliance, religion, best sports teams...
I wanted to pose THIS question to people and see what response I'd get. I have been researching everything like illuminati, Christianity/Catholicism, Islam, etc. Talking about the Anti Christ and the end of the world, what if Jesus is the person created by Satan for people to believe in to lead them AGAINST the wills of God? Jesus might have been legit but lead into temptation and if not maybe his followers saw dollar signs when he died and so the church that was built in his name has been corrupt from the start, causing it's followers to be lead astray from the true path of Jesus into Heaven. It's likely that the catholic church is aware of far more than they tell us, it's certain they know the truths behind so many of the questions that people ask. I'm not referencing Angels & Demons the movie either, that movie was a nice way to divert attention to how powerful the illuminati REALLY are (if they do exist). I want people to really think and pay attention to what they're doing, what they're saying, to what they're praying and to where this world is headed. There is a global threat hanging over head but according to the media we should be more focused on numerous bullshit stories that are being labeled "headlines" in our papers and on television. People who report on deeper topics get labeled as kooks and conspiracy theorists that we should really pay no mind to but "what if...".
What if there is no religion that is the absolute answer? What if it is that your relationship between God is between just the two of you? What if it was supposed to be that we treated each other as we want our God to treat us...but instead we acknowledge our inner devil's instead and live the life of jealous, envious, greedy, backstabbing, FALSE demons that it seems many people are. How many times have you walked past somebody on the street beggin for change? How many homeless dudes did Whitey donate money to when he made money off the song "What It's Like"??? No i'm seriously asking that question because I don't know if he did or not and I don't feel like googling it right now. I'm drawing a line in the sand, it's Good VS Evil, those who stand for self and god vs those who stand for wealth and satan...if you wanna put it that way. Fame is a deadly game if it isn't used correctly and managed correctly. I am currently the only member of my "team", I'm not an actor, i'm not a politician, i'm not a "public figure" so i'm not in need of a publicist or anything like that to help me promote my music. I don't need lawyers to get me in and out of shit, and I don't need grammy's to show me how successful I was this year. The only way I will even begin to accept any type of success is when I see the streets start to clean up shit on their own, the people wake up and take the world back from the devils, the kids be given a safe world to live in once and for all, and for the truth to be revealed to all.
So in the end, it's me against ????
but who's with me?
Feel like I'm gonna need to start recording more and more often and more and more and more from the heart. Gonna write down a game plan for what I want to specifically talk about and get it down as best as I can. We all have our own personal truth too, look deep within yourself and think about your life, think about what you've experienced in your years, what has happened, what have you been taught to think, what do you ACTUALLY think, and what do you think of yourself? what do you see when you look into the mirror? are you AFRAID of the mirror? Me, I am still fighting my devil and it gets hard because when you think you're cool it's usually just the fucker letting up n letting you think you've got the upper hand so he can strike even harder later on. My Trinity album and the Exorcism album I'm working on now are weird because I was never a religious guy, in fact I down right said I didn't believe in God not too long ago. But out of nowhere my mind started to be flooded by all of these thoughts and visions. I'm still not 100% sure of anything but am fighting for a more clear vision of what I believe in, or rather, who/what believes in me...I admit I've got a very low self esteem, I do NOT have faith in myself, I do not even like myself, I'm bipolar manic depressive and I've struggled my entire life. I don't even accept compliments without doubting them in my mind. This entry is going to probably make some people think I'm nuts and they're probably right but this isn't the reason why...this is probably the most sane shit I've ever written. My aim is to lead people away from the false and into the truth. If I can stand my ground and accomplish exactly what I'm setting out to accomplish, then I think there is a good chance it will spark enough minds to follow and will allow the people to reclaim this world.
Yeah I figure I'd share this video with people. Believer or not in the Illuminati this shit is very deep and I think deserves more thought than ignorance. My thing is, why do people put so much faith in God and say they believe they believe they believe, but when it comes to the OTHER side of the coin they wanna act so ignorant to it like "that is bullshit it's make believe it can't happen". There's more to everything than we are being allowed to know and i think if we were to find these things out we would have to be destroyed
I'm gonna start getting back to writing in a few minutes. I've gotta finish what I started and exorcise these bitch ass demons. This "Exorcism" album i'm working on is the most serious I've ever been. The most honest I've ever been. Gettin rid of all the years of anger and frustration and sorrow...gonna unleash my soul with this album.
Since January of this year I have compiled about 40 tracks, some that work in the realm of Exorcism but many tracks just came out of nowhere and so they don't fit with my album. Man, I know I ain't a good rapper, nor am I trying to be one. I'll never be great like most of you let alone be as great as my musical idols, Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Tupac, and David Gilmour of Pink Floyd. If any of you have not taken the time to listen to David Gilmour, download his "On An Island" album but even better than THAT, if you have netflix, put in your que "David Gilmour: Remember That Night" a great concert and it's even better if you smoke a b to it...I dip into Sinatra, BB King, Beatles/Lennon, Floyd, Bob Marley, Metallica, Eminem, Ozzy, Skynyrd...ya gotta be open minded and listen to EVERYTHING because you will miss out on a lot of great music.
Special shout out to SugeGotti...follow him on twitter @SUGEGOTTI...i was very shocked because I dig his music and honestly I am partial to the west siiiiiiide, I've never been to California but I have some friends out there so I am wanting to take a trip out some time...I'm pushin 30 this july but i'm married so i'm really pushin 50...anyway...so I followed Gotti on twitter and the cat followed BACK. Not only THAT, but the dude interacts wit me and others like we are not below him like MOST artists/celebs do. I respect Gotti for showin the luv that people are showin him. Follow him people, cop his music and support an artist who truly deserves our backing.
You see, we are ARTISTS. Music was invented by ARTISTS because it was a way you could express your true feelings and ideas or disapproval of society, is by putting it in your painting, writing books but using "fictional" labels as a saftey net, and they sang songs...Music is a force that should not be treated like it should have a price tag on it. The fact that money has pretty much bought the art form of music and pimped it the fuck out, gives us the scene we got goin on these days. It's like nothin but Pop gets pushed n pumped into the vains of America. Then when a cool ass down to earth real cat is making great music but slips a lil bit and people just dog the shit out of him/her in the media and what not...Whitney Houston is a good example but it goes back further, Netflix again, if you have netflix, put in your que, The Last 24 Hours of Jimi Hendrix...
The point is, I'm high as fuck and have a lot on my mind. I'm sorry if I jump so much into topics, it's part of the bipolar manic depression shit, makes it really hard for me to focus, so I speak from the heart as much as i can but my brain bein so cloudy and racing fast as hell makes it hard to concentrate...and yes, the weed HELPS, so I wish the retarded ass government would just quit being little pussies about it and legalize my shit, fuck, I don't wanna drink, I wanna smoke...
So to @SUGEGOTTI....thank you big homie for the follow back! I wish ya all the success
I want money hoes sex n weeeeeed (and if my wife sees this then she'll kill meeeeeee)