trichotillomania / Blog
Happy Families, traps lain to glue you to, the trap as fleas.
Another abstraction for the sake of distraction. I am, apparently, incapable, of conventional life. I wish there were a viable amount of hours in a day: that a choice existed. If you desire it: 4 hours can be excised every other day...the only hiutch being that you have to put in the request two days prior. Best bet: excise things you know are going to MINIMALLY be kinda shitty, yet you have to do X, Y or Z anyway..: no way around it, -POP- it no longer exists and you are in a moment 4 hours, exactly, later I'd like to simply throttle whatever idiot started playing so-called Gangsta Rap (shitty rappers who were once good whodo nothing but talk about their money, their cars, the fact they are HUSTLERS. I doubt the average ad exec ANYWHERE (save for NYC, maybe) knows what the hell they are saying when they say they are a "Hustler"....they probably think it is prostitution or SHIT, who knows what these privileged jerks think (they probably do not think about it at all.....I'm sure when you make enough: i.e. NOT living paycheck to paycheck..lots of things go away...but, those inclined would have those worries that MOST of us have everyday due to a shit economy and idiotic decisions made by idiotic people...so in debt they will pass it on to those who survive them. My father did this: it was my Grandparents that bailed him out, or rather US, as we would have been who they went after next. When did people simply get even stupider...I mean to say.., I now see people crossing streets without as much as a glance to see what the condition of traffic is, etc. The "universal pedestrian Right of Way Law" is just about the stupidest bullshit in history. Morons assume: "Oh, they can see me, though it is night and I am wearing all black, and if they hit me, I'll sue them for everything they have.".....--enough solace for the average dipshit. It is a syndrome that can only occur in a shittown like Santa Maria. In any other place: people cross without looking.., but because they know tthe timing of the traffic signals..so they know precisely when they can/cannot cross. If you don't believe me, go to any REAL metropolitain area and watch people (L.A. doesn't count except for smack in the middle of downtown or in a lot of Hollywood .. I unfortunately left the TVC on Mtv (Empty Vee)...The show (no music on Music Television; not that I need to tell you...there is scarecely any on MTV2 or VH1 or VH1 classic, etc....I certainly have a love/hate feeling about television. I watch this vacuous idiot packing up his uncheap-Volvo (one of more expensive models about a year ago..no doubt with all amenities) witht he contents of his very swanky, luxurious San Francisco pad for which he was paying no less than $2,500 a month in rent as per the district (as I could tell) and the simple fact that there was a view. It was North Beach if I am right...this fuck ..he has a car in San Francisco. NEWSFLASH: You DO NOT NEED A CAR IN SAN FRANCISCO...it becomes a liability at times more than anything. Dumbfuck should have simply sold his car, bought an econobox if he needed a car so damn bad and looked for a cheaper apartment. I honestly hate the stupid.(by stupid I mean: those with the capacity to work it out: they just won't and do not bother to exercise logic. A 1 year-old, 50K Volvo is extraneous and 100% unnecessary to have a vehicle in that city. It can be convenient at times, but it is NOT needed. I can't be sympathertic toward these morons... ***.continued in next post***
Flaglog 14, 10.31.pres
A workfellow will pay for being a jerkfellow, a jerk-off, who will pay for his initial action, one, the initial lie, 2, and the delay in COMING clean. Work-fellow of my betrothed: know you have no room now for error; you fuck up again...if you desire entension into my life, you'd better pay me, as you are trying to fuck me. You owe ME apoliogy; moreover my female counterpart....I'd kill you were it legal to destroy someone for an obviously malicious "joke" . Fuck You you simple piece of shit. I'll be glad to tcare for you. for you, for you ever you desire to "come around" again; but its' not so worth your ugh, uh, splatter a few ouncers of man-batter on Julio, or Jesus, Play-Zeus (the imaginary servant kind from Heaven you thought about in the bathtub whilst dingling your wink, flagellating your stabbing aching, start masturbating instead of spraying your kindergarten semen all over my world...pealy while hurl.......but life will take care of you....waiter for life or even less, I hope. You simply do not touch others' beloingings and claim to be them...sending msgs to me...as you have now, independent of all, fucked with me....I now will make things have equanimity. I will destroy your peace of mind. I will intrude where I do not belong and IF YOU DARE, dumb motherfucker, I'll beat you and do the days with a smile, as justice sometimes has a human price...sometimes far too often, sometimes far too thin...whether my head hurts or not is unlinked. -radius.: - 2.33338765 ulnar deviant on 'acceleerant cyuclce (3 from 21 most precise by algorithm 56_Hlensley): 6.8 Reccomendation: Reconvene in Safety ++-:END TRANSMISSION-++
I wish there were more Elmyrs in this world.
I was the manager here; I stood around supervising stupidity. I am an unnoticed phantom occurrence within the place I am supposed to be able to call home. This place is as fuck as it gets. I get weary, wary, diseased and hairy-eyeballs from those who'd give a shit, conscript the writ, l;legalize SHIT. When I walk through anywhere or anyplace; I almost want someone to fuck with me just to allow me some practice in real life.....there is NOTHING like the real thing: or the first time. Getting attacked/jumped, mugged, etc (there is no other reason but money for someone to hit me in such a a manner, so ..eliminate impossible/left with answer. I am a plasmatic entrancement; literal: damned considerable, and , literally just saw my nephew kiss my moms' ass. Why I had to look in at that very instant, recoiled and will wait (or emply my new cooker for my room so I NEVER have the need during regular hours to go near the co-residing ingrates.....a kid with his hand directly in his asshole kinda makes me lose my appetite (and I wonder why I get sick too often). I think, as much as possible it is paper plates and packaged, unhandled by the child food....fecal bacteria on my food is NOT what spells Loving A Something Dumpling; what a looker, from the bloody cheap electric cooker purchased to avoid: one way or another. I just had an unforgettable motel experience which I will not say a work regarding as legal action may end up occurring (it was that bad) When a simple pleasure I have: as in watching a few TV shows a week regularly as simple, easy-on-the-brain entertainment: but nowhere near the level of comatose bullshit that preempts my damn dumb shows. Fuck You, inflated importance of sports....it doesn't instill good sportsmanship as I have seen (at least the "Higher Level" Athletes playing various sports in kids leagues..as in the level of seriousness with obsessive, pushy parents getting in fist-fights, giving their kids specialized sports supplements, as well as "supplements...in their ..ahem, juice.., if you get me. WHY? 'CUZ FUCK 'EM, THATS' WHY^!!!! No, really, with metal, barbed sticks....I hate these "people" (likely just cleverly disguised Crab People from the center of the Earth)... I just can't abide a bunch of either fat and old douches called "athletes", along with a bunch of Dominican dudes who can smack a ball 1/4 of a mile but speak not a lick of English and are, likely, the most appreciative and understanding of what was once the TRUE spirit behind baseball [I get the point; I just think(can see) its' been corrupted and is irrelevant on the level it is granted unconditional Preemptive ability on television. Major media has to comprehend that there are shitloads of people who couldn't care less about sports of any kind. There are some, like myself, who like watching certain, oscure sports, but if you preempt Family Guy,.I want to beat you into a coma. I didn't ask for fucking baseball; and since I do not follow it,..I don't know/care when the damned world series is and when I a, going to have my routine raped. I, as I said, only ask for a small thing: for the little bit of TV I actually, actively watch (as in not miss a single episode...MUST follow the story-line..or simply have had such a horrible week that I NEED some stupid bloody laughter at the end of the friggin weak-assed week. I have but one use on an average basis (I am not opposed to baseball or playing it: for fun...BECAUSE IT IS A GAME!!! Once again.., let me run you through the logic: Sports are games. Baseball, though a relatively idle activity, is a "Sport"......therefore it is a GAME. Hence the common usage, "Watching the game" or "Bitch, bother me one more time during the game, and I will fuck you up" (not all 'sports-fans are violent woman-beaters: many take on the Bohemian douchebag mirage to draw their victims..
--NGP
Accelerated Decrepitude!!?!!
Wow.., the contrast is amazing.: after being in shit-Central CA for a long while without a break (my "choice" in a sense...but more that "fault" of my idiot-anxiety which has been whipping my ass like the proverbial red-headed stepchild. When coming from The City ( refer to San Francisco as such; there is no other proper "City" in California...L.A. is a giant spread out rotting Basin of filth that I'd rather be dead than live in or even near. Upon my last visage of San Diego; I saw nothing but what appeared to be a simple extension (like a deathly, horrible stinking, belching moss-covered drainage of filth that has slowly, but surely dripped and infected all that with which the slime came in contact. As a strangling Kudzu fueled by Pseudo-Neuvo self-proclaimed Sophisticates simply due to the fact their state (not in their shithole, thank god) produces more and better wine than anywhere on the planet. L.A. has its' amenities: not a one'd cause me to reside there...I don't mean this as a personal attack, or anything close to those who dig L.A>; I personally simply can't stand it and its' viral sprawl-spread mauling dead former cities identities. Every place has its' merits.....just some a lot more meritorious than others. The sessions of which I'll soon post photographs produced our sound,distinctly: however we have grown..as time necessitates/permits. I am proud and pleased that what we are now creating is distinctly different from our past work, yet is of a quality that will make me very happy to cut into Vinyl. I am not in a state of mind that allows me much more to say at the moment. Depending on whether we get anyone requesting such: we may release the tracks that will go on new new LP one by one; however..we have no incentive to do so unless we hear from you; know what you want: can be sure you'll bother to buy a record after hearing all of the tracks for a month or more... i.e.: make it worth our while, and the songs will appear as they are finished. FEEDBACK, please,,,,..feedback. We cannot yet read your thoughts directly.
Come say 'Hello' if you too are seeing the Foo Fighters TONIGHT!
post refers to what is currently today)[duh]..:10/19/2011(October 19th, 2011) It is too early and I am siting here listening to band with whom we have a musical kinship (perhaps)...I hear not much....a band here; a singer-songwriter...mostly a bunch of moving walking and talking cliche. I find myself saying over my headphones blare: "Oh gid....this is terrible: whoever made this should be", "Please walk into traffic", "I gope flesh-eating bacteria hit your larynx so I never have to hear that voice again", "WHY the HELL does EVERY white rapper not seem to recognize that Hip-Hop existed before Eminem!!!!!" (there are more white guys who obviously mimic his style, rhyme schemes, rhythmic patterns, subject matter: even his look....fucking repugnant.) Eminiem does Eminem JUST fine.. That being said: there are FAR more band and musicians out there who have a distinct kinship with our ethos/aesthetic prjection desired by our songs. There are so many:..I hope every one of those who deserve it get to develop their sound in what "the music biz" is hopefully becoming for the first time in ages: a meritocracy.....if you are good at writing/recording/playing music.....you'll get the attention and ability to NOT worry where the next place you will sleep/where you'll get the cash for a next meal [I have been there and never Desire a return. PLEASE COME AND SAY HI IF YOU ARE SEEING THE FOO FIGHTERS TONIGHT...GET AROUND SOMEONE W/ AN ANDROID SMARTPHONE, DOWNLOAD OUR APP (go to the android market and search 'trichotillomania' install the app and we can push text directly to you. I will; in the case that HOPEFULLY someone will come say "Hello".I will push our location in the arena and where we'll be during the intermission betwixt the bands' sets. ...fuck bad omens,! --NGP
My dead dad can beat up your dead dad!
I am bored and now forced / and I am forced to use the government/ up and down the stubble fence/ I'd rince you motherfuckers down the toilet along with the rest of that which IS HUMAN WASTE/ the absolute, resolute, lacking contribute Flush you first, Not a real name Aguilar, henceforth known as feces. Please Geez, DELETE this disease of a Human. Reprise the delusion and recreate this solute, which is obviously faulty.:;..nauseously guilty, doused with baby-oil greasy, easy, who fucks anything with a vibration or that can be sapped/leeched from; I beseech reality to rectify this abnormally greasy ponce) I'd name some names of theRapist and its' quarry and and dining buddies...but justice comes one way only.; I can hear the train with my condenser mic pointed at the tracks...it isn't too far...the Karma is a Bitch Express: Always Right On-Time. The tracks vibrate violently with that which will arrive shortly. I am giddy at its' arrival._____ __________________________
Idiots who do very foolish things are doing what amounts to walking forward, between two large, immovable vertical steel rods that have an inch-thick, very flexible & strong inner-tube/band at whose center is a 3 lbs. lead weight. The fool walks forward, between the rods and pushes the 3 lbs weight with his crotch, laughing each time (he isn't very bright) mimics thrusting his junk at the weight. There is a hook close to the wall. It catches the rubber with all its' stored energy...but not very well. Dumbshit starts rubbing together his few remaining brain-cells and decides to make a "big-ass sligshot, huhuhuh." Douchebag steps back to see the thing in its' "cocked position" at which point the hook gives way (as designed, and kills the Waste of Sperm and Egg capacity to make more idiots.... He just got what he deserved; for being stupid.......... testicles smashed to the consistency of Loose, wet oatmeal. A speaker will then actuate playing a laughing sound....theRaprist goes away forever and ever, Amen. When The Universe sorts this out: all will be illuminated; one will be incarcerated, or interned upside-down in the box caskets are shipped in as shit like Doucheyfuck don't have anyone who can care....they have burned all of their bridges. If you think me cruel: Rape is cruel, beating your girlfriend or wife is cruel...writing a damned blog is far from cruel. Good Evening.
Me hopefully being clever and smart...entertaining at least
Considering (not heavily...I am not knowledgeable enough regarding the vascularity of the face/nervous tissue/nerve paths of the facial muscles.. Obliterating the heavily shot,, and departing; am I not enough? muscularity loves the treacherous censure/serve..is it Parliamentary Procedure or is it God? Am I the guy who drives by waving and nodding, smiling and shedding evidence of bedding of the night before. Jack, Old Blackie O'Kennedy...what has the concept of Royalty meant to me? Its' bent, as I see. The smell does agree, displeases..that Thee Royal Tea is more of a Jelly...a sticky conundrum; blast 'em, but have fun wit' them. Take a Seat, Men.. I've got another announcement to rape, the words of the text on the card I grip so it won't run away, and will not escape. I grip it so tight, it cries a few tears. You'll bear an endwise tear after the completion of the obligated affair (I'm scared). The further affair. "Not in my Wallet, NOT IN MY BACK-POCKET!!. Rifled socket. Pie, nut tap and Bitch Slap. Scary-mean knifed cocks' ped, I mean feet, who knew Kung Fu, and didn't "dig on" the President. He'd be all ninja about it, and masquerade as the pardoned Turkey one year...just to get near. He'd bury his gear and wait to scout all surveillance routines, their ability, and their gear...their blind spots and their own, personal tears (our Secret Service has likely a WHOLE lot os Queers...not at all a Criticism to the Secret Service...comparison, though...if you are gay; Do you deserve this? I don't presume to think so, or conversely. I unnerve myself to protect the idea well...I've got enough for an extra 5 lifetimes (all offensive)....I hope to live long (though observations like that seem, at times, to doom one)..I just hope my realization of that fact makes become null and void...only the assholes join MENSA.. Rx q.i.D. with 10,000 grains of salt --NGP
Hopefully me not repeating myself.
Were I an American by birth AND had grown up in a parallel place: somewhere where that which OUR founding fathers intended existed; if I grew up without the very obvious stupidity of my "peers"; the relative ignorance of "My Fellow American"...: I have no peers(in the traditional sense..as ion one usually has a large group/generation/degeneration with which to associate themselves.) , really. I am disgusted to an indescribable degree by morons who blindly have faith in ANYTHING, whether it be nation, religion..fill in the damned blank. Now, this being said, make absolutely no mistake regarding my feelings regarding those who are willing to die for an ideal. My family has more than its' share of blood comprising the red on this American Flag. I have NOTHING but respect for those who are able and willing to perform military service: Were I to have the choice, I'd make it compulsory as it is in many nations....but that is another argument. The point at which I 'crystallized' I was.., well, I was born at a point in time and with tastes that left me in a "no-mans-land" (meaning I was the only one I could see there for many a moon)...I grew up with tastes in music, art and "what have you", led me to a place that I couldn't relate well,;culturally.., to my "peers". I think that is why I make music..and seek specifically to make music that is unprecedented in its' composition and reception. I' am ABSOLUTELY one who wants to change the world, but I would be very happy to know that I made some music that was what I NEEDED to hear and some other folks 'got it' and dug it and....I am content. The simple possibility of "The American Dream" is coming to an end slow but surely. We are sinking as a ship of large size slowly reaches complete catastrophe. We are a goliath of a nation with interests and money spread around the planet like an multi-tendriled beast whose extension must be fully withdrawn before all remnants of the monster are truly gone in their effect.... Gone? gone...it'll take a millennia (I laugh aloud in thinking that long exists for humanity (at least those who don't escape Earth in time) to make sure every memory and remnant of what will be called Old Earth some day...if there is anyone to say the words.
I'll change my name to Anonymous to take credit for a lot of things I didn't do.
I need to talk to a priest...I just HAVE to know how they don't /can get away with NOT masturbating.The body has a built-in system to release semen (i.e. the wet-dream, or 'nocturnal emissions' [damn...that'd be a good band name...I've got dibs on producing your first record, , The Nocturnal Emissions..if you already exist...I'll find you: please don't suck. Catholic Priests get Prostate cancer far more often than is average; presumably because of this fact. I can certainly see that it could be bad for the body/reproductive system. I never knew how many insane ideas/periferal beliefs amongst some (likely hardcore Evangelicals to a large degree) Christians. My Fiancee (no idea how to get the right character for the end of that word) , being a Christian (a ration one; I couldn't be with her otherwise..and certainly not plan to marry..however, having not EVER gone to any church regularly/ associate with those who hold such beliefs.... Now, this being said, My High School girlfriends' mother was certifiably insane without a doubt. This being said; she forbade I bring her daughter home at 12:00 midnight..before or after was FINE...but NEVER be outside at midnight...or the Devil can take your soul! Tremble!! I literally laughed aloud when she told me this eat-wher-you-shit simply retarded; which I got a tirade which was replete with a bunch of other old, weird, arcane bat-shit crazy Catholic superstition. There were scads of them...things I'd NEVER head of. A new one to me was the origin of the word "Luck"..I still have yet to check the etymology, but for it to be a "no no" to say "Good Luck", which..apparently "Luck" is a bastardization of 'Lucifer' (which is just Light-bearer, as most should know...Venetian lamp-lighters are still called Luciferos (sic)...as they bring the light. I have no problem with people believing what they want about ANYTHING...it is simply a beginning requirement that the "factual" evidence on which they base what they believe MUST be logically sound.; or my proverbial 'they' are following a fairy tales' vague shadow.. This is what fails the" intelligence of the masses", at times, minimally. My "Delusional Self" has been turned off lately: it feels strange. It occurs occasionally...but it has occurred about a dozen times just this morning.. Perhaps I can finally finish composing my contributions to our upcoming record. I hope so...know so, since I have to finish them; that I am even capable of writing something like this, which is surprisingly difficult for one such as me (it is not my natural 'way' to talk to people en masse . I guess my way is to scream non-sequiturs with my feces in my hair, publicly urinating at will and wearing a hat made of aluminum foil. It at least would/could be in an alternate "place". I am irritated by end of days prophecy crap for one reason. EVERY last thing mentioned (aside from an Asteroid strike) are caused by OVERPOPULATION....Planet Earth is simply, at this point (1998 I think was the year we reached "capacity" as it was computed.) We have too many humans to sustain life for all. THAT causes famine, war, death in the same ways end of days prophecies. I am not going to bother to say yea or nay as per my belief in these prophecies (i.e. 2012) as my thoughts are somewhere in-between....I'll write about it someday. I am simply exhausted by idiots beating an ancient prophecy to death. We have plenty of insane thing happening, supposedly, all at once in 2012..but, if you look for specific things that you expect to find: YOU WILL FIND THEM: Guaranteed. If fixated on a result: You'll find the result upon which you fixated.....everytime.
Voir Dire
I realize I have been absorbing information at an absurd rate. I retook IQ tests and scored 20 points, roughly, higher, in general than what I was getting from these shit sites fpr free (precisely what led me there) I don't place any stock in IQ tests (they've been proven to be very inaccurate)....but it is obvious that,. at times..when you think NOTHING is happening; when your mind feels dead...you may just be too involved with INPUT and when the time is right.....it all just happens. OIt is like liquid fire inside of my mind when it all coalesces . Back to the horses...I mean; huh? Nevermind. When you are done writing lyrics...your verbal/linguistic centers suffer a bit....due to overuse and writing/communicating in tones. It becomes difficult at times to properly communicate with non-musicians (I think that is why many "sequester" themselves to make records) I want a rail-gun, I love electricity. And then it all dies. Why: I said it: observed....wrong one at the wrong time,.. My Furby still kinda scares me...but nowhere near as much as Raggedy Anne And Andy. Ugh Childhood terror. It really irritates me that someone who grew up poor is NOTY happy when they finally GET RIUCH...BULLSHIT..I KNOW there is very little chance that simply not having the worry of money via smart and diverse investment...blah, blah..blah.....that will be a beautiful day. To me monetarily independent. Has anyone ever made an anonymous album?
