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Randy Erickson / Blog

Dylanesque Declarations of Devotion, verses 486-502

Here's the deal. Back at the beginning of September 2009, I had Bob Dylan's "To Make You Feel My Love" going through my head, which was understandable because I spent an hour the night before learning it for an upcoming wedding gig. So what do you do when you have a song going through your head? You make up new words.

Of course, I've always been one to take things to extremes, so here's what I've decided to do. I'm going to make up a new verse for the song every day for a year. And I'm going to sing a new verse to my lovely wife every day for a year. I ended up doing it for what I thought was 500 days, but I think it actually might have turned out to be 502 verses. Here's the last of them.

Jan. 14 Maybe I can't buy you lots of shiny bling, Baubles and bangles just don't mean a thing, I wrote you a song that takes two hours to sing, To make you feel my love

Jan. 13 The governor thinks you make too much dough, Teachers get their summers off, you know, But I'll tell the governor where he can go, To make you feel my love.

Jan.12 I've got some news to make you hoot and holler, Our daughter is a National Merit Scholar, I'll buy you some Dom if it costs me my last dollar, To make you feel my love

Jan. 11 Coconut cluster or cinnamon stick, I don't see why you should even have to pick, I'll buy you so much candy it'll make you sick, To make you feel my love

Jan. 10 If life's too dark just let me light your lamp, When you need music I will crank up my amp, And I'll squeeze the dish sponge so it's not so damp, To make you feel my love

Jan. 9 Your Green Bay Packers are the Super Bowl champs, And they won the game without ol' Gramps, I'll put A. Rodgers on a postage stamp, To make you feel my love

Jan. 8 You've had enough of the snow and chill, But you can call me Punxsutawney Phil, If I can bring you spring you know I will, To make you feel my love

Jan. 7 I'm an Egyptian strongman, too long in power, And everybody seems to hate me more by the hour, I'd drain the treasury and take you to Maui, my flower, To make you feel my love.

Jan. 6 The Amtrak's late getting to Milwaukee, My poor darling might not be home 'til 3, I'll keep the bed warm 'til you're home with me, To make you feel my love

Jan. 5 Breathe me, darling, let me be your air, I'll be your rock in moments of despair, But please don't make me help you dye your hair, To make you feel my love

Jan. 4 Love's not a science, it's not exact, But when I see you I know how I'll react, My zygomaticus muscles will contract, To make you feel my love

Jan. 3 You get so lonely when you're all alone, But all you've got to do is pick up the phone, I gave your number a special "Rio" ring tone, To make you feel my love

Jan. 2 Although I have deep Minnesota roots, When it comes to your team there'll be no disputes, I'll wear the green and gold from hat to boots, To make you feel my love

Jan. 1 Now is the winter of our discontent, So cold outside, money's all spent, Maybe I'll sing a song or two from "Rent," To make you feel my love

Dec. 31 Can't give you much money, I don't make a gob, And I can't swear well enough to join the mob, Maybe I should just apply for Steve Jobs' job, To make you feel my love

Dec. 30 To me the Golden Globes are kinda lame, But I'll watch them with you all the same, When Johnny Depp comes on I'll even freeze the frame, To make you feel my love

Dec. 29 You left your flash drive in your other pants, No need to do the desperation dance, I'll bring it to you when I get the chance, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 466-485

Dec. 28 Let's say we're standing in the desert sun, And some crazed loner starts to shoot his gun, I'd stand in front of you, I would not run, To make you feel my love

Dec. 27 You've got the key to my heart, you are the owner, Without you I'm a printer low on toner, If we part I'll cry like that speaker guy Boehner, To make you feel my love

Dec. 26 I no longer have all my own teeth, And I can't play guitar like Ricky Weeth, But I'll bring you a Blizzard loaded with Heath, To make you feel my love

Dec. 25 I love you so much, Babe, it's actually frightening, I just think of you and my day starts brightening, I'd give you the key to my Vincent Black Lightning, To make you feel my love

Dec. 24 2010 has had its joys and pains, 365 days down the drain, I think you've more than earned some good champagne, To make you feel my love

Dec. 23 Bronchitis, sinusitis, otitis, too, Might have all three or maybe it's the flu, Pardon me if I don't sing this verse for you, To make you feel my love

Dec. 22 When illness drains me of my might, And a daily verse I just can't write, I'll try to keep my soiled tissues out of site, To make you feel my love

Dec. 21 You're sweeter than stevia, sweeter than candied yams, For you'd I'd chip away the damned ice dams, And let you have the biggest sample at Sam's, To make you feel my love

Dec. 20 Every Christmas I think this is the year, That I'll get you the gift you hold most dear, I don't suppose you're interested in something sheer, To make you feel my love

Dec. 19 Wrap ham in bacon and then beer-batter fry it, You shouldn't knock it, babe, until you try it, OK, tomorrow I will go on a diet, To make you feel my love

Dec. 18 Wanna see the Vikes at TCF, just ask, Though getting tickets will be quite a task, If we do get in I'll bring a brandy flask, To make you feel my love

Dec. 17 It is so sad you had to catch my cold, Coughing and sneezing must be getting old, I'll buy you the finest decongestants sold, To make you feel my love

Dec. 16 When nights get longer and days get grim, And you wanna tear somebody limb from limb, I'll play a song for you by Tiny Tim, To make you feel my love

Dec. 15 Holiday songs can set your heart aglow, But there's one song this year you'd like to throw, So I'll shoot the next guy who sings "Let It Snow," To make you feel my love

Dec. 14 You're the one I'm always thinking of, And speading disease is no way to show love, So before I touch a thing I'll put on a glove, To make you feel my love

Dec. 13 You're my Natasha and I'm your Boris, You bring out my inner tyrannosaurus, For you I'd sing the Hallelujah chorus, To make you feel my love

Dec. 12 Christmas shopping chores I usually shirk, But I've got some free time while you're hard at work, I'm off to the mall, hope I don't go berserk, To make you feel my love

Dec. 11 Mother Nature can be very mean, Now I've got to get our snowy driveway clean, I'll be your personal snow removal machine, To make you feel my love

Dec. 10 An Arctic front is going to hit us hard, But I won't let your fun this weekend be marred, Though I might have to send you brandy by St. Bernard, To make you feel my love

Dec. 9 Though I can be a much worse ogre than Shrek, You stay by my side when I put you through heck, Tonight I'll send my kisses from Chetek, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 446-465

Dec. 8 If you've got an itch, I'll make sure it's scratched, Tiki hut roof leaking, I'll make sure that's thatched, And those broken ornament pieces will be reattached, To make you feel my love

Dec. 7 I'd stop the world if you asked me to, You want the moon, OK, I'll get that, too, I'll even save a piece of panuche for you, To make you feel my love

Dec. 6 Of all the things I love I love you most, I love you even more than peanut butter toast, How about I name you president of Ivory Coast, To make you feel my love

Dec. 5 Sometimes I might seem just a little bit oafish, Like when I get mad when you beat me at Go Fish, But I made a meal for you that's mighty meatloafish To make you feel my love

Dec. 4 If they say I don't love you, you know they are liars, Don't I fulfill all of your deepest desires, Now I'll get filters for the humidifiers, To make you feel my love

Dec. 3 It's cold and snowy out but that doesn't matter, I'll serve your nightcap on a silver platter, Just wait, I'll run for Tom and Jerry batter, To make you feel my love

Dec. 2 I feel irrational exuberance, Whenever I see your protuberance, I just wanna do the Goofy Goober dance, To make you feel my love

Dec. 1 My bucket list still has some goals to attain, Like ride a tandem bike across the Ukraine, And finally have you sit through "Citizen Kane," To make you feel my love

Nov. 30 One thing you ought to know about me, I'm not that big on watching network TV, BUt if you insist I guess I could watch "Glee," To make you feel my love

Nov. 29 I'd do most anything to see your smile, Whisk you away to a tropical isle, Or let you hold the remote for a while, To make you feel my love

Nov. 28 When your hard work week is finally done, And you're yearning for some silly fun, I'll rent a copy of "The Naked Gun," To make you feel my love

Nov. 27 I might be Grinchy to the core, If it's December, don't want to be in no store, Still, I will help you with the Christmas decor, To make you feel my love

Nov. 26 I love you more than Paris Hilton loves herself, Nothing's too good for you, you deserve strictly top shelf, I'll even let you make me into a singing elf, To make you feel my love

Nov. 25 When telemarketers have you so pissed, You want to pummel puppies with your fist, Just wait, I'll get us on the no-call list, To make you feel my love

Nov. 24 I will try not to run over squirrels, Especially when I'm with you and the girls, And I'll paint Annie's tapioca pearls, To make you feel my love

Nov. 23 Maybe the holidays have laid you low, And your Scrooginess could give the Grinch a go, I'll take you to a Trailer Trash Christmas show, To make you feel my love

Nov. 22 When there are rules, babe, you know I will bend them, Pieces of legislation, you know I'd always amend them, And for your school I'd say "yes" referendum, To make you feel my love

Nov. 21 This old body has seen better days, Got too many chins and too many grays, So I wouldn't wear sparkly pants on the AMA's, To make you feel my love

Nov. 20 All week long, my dear, you work and slave, Tonight it's chicken cordon bleu you crave Maybe I can make some in the microwave, To make you feel my love

Nov. 19 I don't like killing things, it's not my bag, Gutting a carcass sounds like such a drag, But I'll get dresssed in orange and shoot a stag, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 426-445

Nov. 18 When Glenn Beck's ranting puts you in a stupor, And Michelle Bachmann's talking out of her pooper, I'll get a fact check quick from Anderson Cooper, To make you feel my love

Nov. 17 A terror fighter's work is never done, But why should the airport guys get all the fun, I'm offering you a personal patdown, Hon, To make you feel my love

Nov. 16 All I want for Christmas is the Springsteen box A Rickenbacker and an amp by Vox, You'll have to be content with shiny rocks, To make you feel my love

Nov. 15 I lie awake for you, my midnight muse, Succumb to me in magic purple hues, Or I could watch the news and let you snooze, To make you feel my love

Nov. 14 Harry Potter 7's coming, won't that be nice, You want to see it though you've read the book twice, I'll take you to the movie and sneak in fried rice, To make you feel my love

Nov. 13 Darlin' you don't seem to have near enough fun, So many burdens, maybe I should take one, I'll do our monthly two-cart grocery run, To make you feel my love

Nov. 12 If I was Benjamin Netanyahu, And you're a kibbutznik building where you ought not to, I'll just let you build wherever you want to, To make you feel my love

Nov. 11 To me there's nothing that would be any finer, Than to be stranded with you on a cruise liner, I'd make them tow the boat to Asia Minor, To make you feel my love

Nov. 10 It's time to face the facts, there's no escaping, Whether we use wax or do razor scraping, It's probably time I do a little manscaping, To make you feel my love

Nov. 9 Babe, when you're feeling at a loss, Like two beef patties with no special sauce, I'll play you some outtakes from The Boss, To make you feel my love

Nov. 8 If, God forbid, you should be taken from me, I'll try to find some good in tragedy, I'll let someone in need have your kidney, To make you feel my love

Nov. 7 How do I love you? Let me count the ways, I love you more than pesto mayonnaise, I'll write you verses for 500 days, To make you feel my love

Nov. 6 Your horse was number two by a nose, And you've got a fire but you don't have a hose, Sit back and relax while my poetry flows, To make you feel my love

Nov. 5 When hard rain makes your hope erode, And you feel like you just might explode, I'll take you riding on Thunder Road, To make you feel my love

Nov. 4 When you've got a bad case of the blahs, Because your hubby has committed faux pas, I'll go and buy six pints of Haagen-Dazs, To make you feel my love

Nov. 3. The Mighty Quinn can turn despair to joy, Even while driving through Illinois, Stick with me, I'll be your Eskimo boy, To make you feel my love

Nov. 2 I am so very, very, very tired, And in the morning if I have expired, Remember me as the guy who aspired, To make you feel my love

Nov. 1 Democracy is something you really treasure, You'd rather vote than have a day of leisure, So I'll cast my ballot three times for good measure, To make you feel my love

Oct. 31 I know you cannot stand Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity, Their spewage drives you to the brink of profanity, I should have brought you to the Rally for Sanity, To make you feel my love

Oct. 30 Twenty-four years ago we had our first date, Every day since then has been greater than great, Then as now, I will never hesitate, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 406-425

Oct. 29 You know I hate it when you stew and mutter, It makes you seem like you're some kind of nutter, So I'll make sure we're stocked with peanut butter, To make you feel my love

Oct. 28 I'll snuggle with you watching Lawrence Welk, Go on a Sunday drive to see some elk, And learn the proper way to pronounce milk, To make you feel my love

Oct. 28 You know I hate it when you stew and mutter, It makes you seem like you're some kind of nutter, So I'll make sure we're stocked with peanut butter, To make you feel my love

Oct. 27 Should the wind blow out the power one night, No need for you to fret or get uptight, I don't really need to have a speck of light, To make you feel my love

Oct. 26 If you have a need, all you need to is ask, I'll take on even a Herculean task, And I'll buy you Little Penguin by the cask, To make you feel my love

Oct. 25 I'd walk the Arctic from dawn til dusk, To bring you back your own walrus tusk, Or maybe I'll just wear some smelly musk, To make you feel my love

Oct. 24 I can't astound you with athletic feats, And I'm too longwinded to be good at tweets, But I'll help you organize your receipts, To make you feel my love

Oct. 23 I'll be the boy in the corduroy pants, You be the girl at the high school dance, I'll learn the meaning of true romance, To make you feel my love

Oct. 22 Time meant nothing, anything seemed real, You kissed like fire and you made me feel, I must reveal myself as the Man of Steel, To make you feel my love

Oct. 21 Whisper your secrets, Babe, you know I won't tell 'em, Tell me your worries, you know I will quell 'em, Then sing you a song by Lady Antebellum, (Or: And I'll float air biscuits so you can't even smell 'em) To make you feel my love

Oct. 20 I'll start a fire for you with just two sticks, Make cornbread muffins without using a mix, And learn some Kenny Strasser yo-yo tricks, To make you feel my love

Oct. 19 I call it egg bake but you call it frittata, You say Rocky and I say Jake LaMotta, You can call me Al, I'll call you Desiderata, To make you feel my love

Oct. 18 If I only had three nickels I would give you two, If I had a sack of sliders I'd likely give you a few, But must I really share my beer with you, To make you feel my love

Oct. 17 Lock me up for 125, Take away my license and all that jive, Sorry, Babe, I just can't go 55, To make you feel my love

Oct. 16 When my time comes I'll not be afraid, There's not one moment with you I would trade, I'll just make sure my term life bill is paid, To make you feel my love

Oct. 15 Some declarations are full of bluster, Kinda like a bunch of frat boys in a '72 Duster, But I totally was going to take you to Guster, To make you feel my love

Oct. 14 If I had done what they say Brett Favre's done, I'd find a way to make it up to you, Hon, But how could I undo what has been undone, To make you feel my love

Oct. 13 Marlon Brando, Pocahontas and me, ooh, And me and you and a dog named Boo, These classic trios will just have to do, To make you feel my love

Oct. 12 An episode of "Castle" always gets you blissed, Hope my opportunity has not been missed, To become a crime-fighting novelist, To make you feel my love

Oct. 11 When the Vikings play on Monday night, My verbal outbursts give you such a fright, But when you're sleeping I'll keep it zipped up tight, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 386-405

Oct. 10 If I was trapped in a Chilean mine, I'd dream about your face to pass the time, Until our lips once again intertwine, To make you feel my love

Oct. 9 John Lennon's birthday conjures days of yore, We're not so young and neither is the Fab Four, But I'll need and feed you when you're 64, To make you feel my love

Oct. 8 The economy is puffing and wheezing, We're in a fiscal vise that's constantly squeezing, So how about we try some quantitative easing, To make you feel my love

Oct. 7 If sweet oblivion is what you crave, But you're not ready for an early grave, I'll mix you a drink I call "The Tidal Wave," To make you feel my love

Oct. 6 I'd dive into a pack of rabid skunks, Defend you from a gang of sex-crazed drunks, Make chicken salad with smaller celery chunks, To make you feel my love

Oct. 5 I'll believe you if you say you spotted a possum, And I will present you with an occasional blossom, Most of all, I'll try not to forget to be awesome, To make you feel my love

Oct. 4 I'll ease your pain, babe, when you've been achin', From Mount Olympus I'd release the Kraken, And Monday mornings I'll make the house smell like bacon, To make you feel my love

Oct. 3 I spent last night rockin' out with my axe, Instead of staying home to help you relax, So I'll spend my gig money on pumpkin knick-knacks, To make you feel my love

Oct. 2 I'd fight the werewolves for you every night, And I'd stop a skidding truck with bare-handed might, Now if I could only sparkle in the daylight, To make you feel my love

Oct. 1 I love you more than a miser loves money, More than Hugh Hefner loves his lovely love bunny, Wait a sec I'm going to say something funny, To make you feel my love

Sept. 30 The walnuts are falling out in the yard, Help me pick them up, it wouldn't be that hard, In return I'll grill you a steak, not too charred, To make you feel my love

Sept. 29 Our daughter wants to backpack Europe in June, But don't you worry, Darlin', don't you swoon, I'll go along and be her guardian loon, To make you feel my love

Sept. 28 I just don't know what is wrong with me, Just spent the last two hours watching TV, When I shoulda been writing a verse for thee, To make you feel my love

Sept. 27 I'm a Packers punter and I'll give you my best, dear, I'll kick the ball like it's a child molester, And I swear I'll never kick it straight to Hester, To make you feel my love

Sept. 26 When it comes to campaign ads I will not hedge, They make me want to go and grab my sledge, I'm mad as heck and I approved this message, To make you feel my love

Sept. 25 The band rocked the fest like a World Series in the 'Dome, Then I had a few beers, easy on the foam, Here are my keys, you can drive me home, To make you feel my love

Sept. 24 The Maple Leaf Parade is hard to beat, Getting a primo spot is no mean feat, But I'll camp all night at Vine and Second Street, To make you feel my love

Sept. 23 You are my life, my darling, my dear, But if you make a quarter million a year, I couldn't vote to cut your taxes I fear, To make you feel my love

Sept. 22 I'll be your slave on my two-week break, I'll rake and bake and make you cake and steak, I'll even dress up for you like a sheikh, To make you feel my love

Sept. 21 When it comes to our house, Baby, you're the boss, And I'd hate to do anything to make you cross, So I'll try to take less than a yard of floss, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 366-385

Sept. 20 The leaves are turning, there's a chill in the air, Ice storms are coming but you don't have a care, I swear I'll fix the hand rail by the back-door stair, To make you feel my love

Sept. 19 September 19 is a very special day, So hoist the sails and anchors aweigh, I'll express my devotion in the pirate way, To make you feel my love

Sept. 18 Your beauty moves me, puts me in a trance, Can't help but shake it when we get a chance, But I'll try not not to be so goofy when I dance, To make you feel my love

Sept. 17 If you were Pete Best in the early Fab Four, And John and Paul didn't want you drummin' no more, I'd roundhouse Ringo at the back stage door, To make you feel my love

Sept. 16 Slings and arrows, I'll suffer them for you, Shingles and hives, you know I'd do them, too, But a common cold, now that's too much to do, To make you feel my love

Sept. 15 Princeton or Stanford -- it's so hard to choose, Seems our daughter has the college choice blues, Don't fret, I'll work a second job while you snooze, To make you feel my love

Sept. 14 Dreams aren't just things that you chase in the night, And I know you dream that maybe one night I might, Let you have the covers without a fight, To make you feel my love

Sept. 13 If I could only find a way to fly, I'd take you soaring with me in the sky, Wouldn't serve you nuts, I'd serve you French silk pie, To make you feel my love

Sept. 12 H.L. Mencken, Hunter Thompson, Mark Twain, Even with their skills I could never explain, What I'd do with rose petals and fine champagne, To make you feel my love

Sept. 11 I cannot buy you jewels or coats of mink, Can't help being dumb as the missing link, But I'll walk with you at Steppin' Out in Pink, To make you feel my love

Sept. 10 Our Caravan is getting kind of clunky, The carpet's frayed and it smells kind of funky, I'll buy you a new car complete with trunk monkey, To make you feel my love

Sept. 9 You love Jesus, Babe, I know it's true, But you hate the stuff some Christians spew, You'd never make me burn a book for you, To make you feel my love

Sept. 8 You’re a great teacher, you’re doing fine, But if I was principal I’d draw the line, I’d cut your class size down to eight or nine, To make you feel my love

Sept. 7 Days are shorter, hummingbirds are growing fat, Winter is coming, there's no avoiding that, So I'll take the down blanket to the laundromat, To make you feel my love

Sept. 6 I'll sing you a streetcorner serenade, Rub the sore spot on your shoulder blade, Wake you on time for the Labor Day parade, To make you feel my love

Sept. 5 Bear with me now, this might sound kind of looney, But after last night's movie you seemed kind of moony, So I'll do my best to be much more like George Clooney, To make you feel my love

Sept. 4 Forever and always I will be your slave, About your new haircut I promise I will rave, And I will go buy you a new microwave, To make you feel my love

Sept. 3 Whisper to me your wildest desires, I will do whatever that requires, I’ll even buy a set of Finnish snow tires, To make you feel my love

Sept. 2 My love for you is bigger than a whale, Good Lord, it’s bigger than a Labor Day sale, I really hope it won’t get too big to fail, To make you feel my love

September 1 For one whole year I wrote a verse a day, I suppose there's really not much more to say, Guess I'll just have to find another way, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 346-365

August 31 I know you're tired, ready to be chillin', But Babe I'm ready, I'm able and willin', To sing for you just like Bobby Dylan, To make you feel my love

August 30 Your new job has put a spin on your head, You face the day with both excitement and dread, How about a back rub and a bottle of red, To make you feel my love

August 29 When all your stress has got you in a funk, And you're running very low on spunk, Don't worry, babe, I'll put away my junk, To make you feel my love

August 28 Waffles on a stick and pan-fried pike, Chicken-fried bacon, I'll get you whatever you like, Tomorrow I'll take you on a 20-mile hike, To make you feel my love

August 27 I might never be a millionaire, But what I've got you know I'll always share, And I swear I'll never laugh at your hair, To make you feel my love

August 26 Your eyes entrance me, your kisses they thrill, I'll always be your slave, I'll do your will, I'll even take you to Machinery Hill, To make you feel my love

August 25 I could show you love with a big warm hug, Or I could come running when you see a bug, Or just ignore your shoes piled on the rug, To make you feel my love

August 24 When you want to exercise your rights, To dine on stick-held, deep-fried delights, I'll book a flight for Falcon Heights, To make you feel my love

August 23 I changed their diapers, helped them learn to walk, I took them shopping, never once did I squawk, But do I really have to give them "the talk," To make you feel my love

August 22 Every night I feed Poco and Mo, Turn out the lights and lock the do', And set the timer for our morning Joe, To make you feel my love

August 21 If you were Mike Campbell from Tom Petty's band, The greatest guitar player in the land, I'd make you a Red Dog Tele and I'd do it by hand, To make you feel my love

August 20 If my band's performing at a wedding dance, I'll turn my thoughts to you at every chance, Won't even give bridesmaids a second glance, To make you feel my love

August 19 Wish I could give you all that you desire, A house those HGTV guys would admire, Maybe I should moonlight as a gun for hire, To make you feel my love

August 18 You put meat in my pot, you put the blue in my sky, You never fail to make me higher than high, So for dinner I will make you pad thai, To make you feel my love

August 17 Sometimes I think I have an evil twin, Who cannot stop after the games begin, I'll give him more tonic and a lot less gin, To make you feel my love

August 16 I love you a bushel and a peck, A bushel and a peck and hug around the neck, I'll even stain your mother's deck, To make you feel my love

August 15 I'll walk through life, darlin', by your side, My darkest secrets to you I will confide, And I'll be more Jekkyl and a little less Hyde, To make you feel my love

August 14 All my hard living will someday take its toll, To make your life without me easy is my goal, So I'll buy garbage cans with wheels so they can roll, To make you feel my love

August 13 I'm out of the office, maybe I'll be missed, I'm on vacation so just color me blissed, Still I suppose I better get to that honey-do list, To make you feel my love

August 12 If you hunger I will fetch you a figlet, Need a cute critter? I will catch you a piglet, And if I lose my hair I will wear a wiglet, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 323-345

August 11 It's hot and humid, feels like a steam bath, Wish we could walk on a glacial path, Or it might be cool if I could help with your math, To make you feel my love

August 10 The flight was so bad you threw things and swore, You shouldn't have to take this crap anymore, I'll grab some beers and we'll slide on out the door, To make you feel my love

August 9 You've had a hard day, you could use a soak, And your evil boss sure could use a choke, Sit back, I'll tell an Ole and Lena Joke, To make you feel my love

August 8 Your love's worth more than a pirate's plunder, And what's been joined cannot be put asunder, Now you be Catwoman, I'll be the Boy Wonder, To make you feel my love

August 7 It's a great day for a semi-long drive, Dinner and a concert after we arrive, Afterward I'll try to get you home alive, To make you feel my love

August 6 You are my partner on this earthly journey, You are my Bert and I am your Ernie, I suppose I oughta give you power of attorney, To make you feel my love

August 5 My word skills set me high above the rabble, I razzle-dazzle when I scribble my babble, But I will always let you win at scrabble, To make you feel my love

August 4 I'll always love you, babe, that's guaranteed, I'll see you never have an unfilled need, And I'll always keep you in my Facebook news feed, To make you feel my love

August 3 I love your earlobes, I love your knees, I even love the way you cut the cheese, Come a little closer and I'll give you a squeeze, To make you feel my love

August 2 Too many nights you've pined for me alone, I know it's long past time that I atone, So let's go to Madison to see Marc Cohn, To make you feel my love

August 1 I sweat with ease and I get an ugly bouquet, I'd hate it if my aroma kept you away, How 'bout I shower at least two times a day, To make you feel my love

July 31 I know you think I'm just an overgrown boy, Whose major goal in life is to annoy, But I always give you half my Almond Joy, To make you feel my love

July 30 Life can be like a long and winding road, And I'll be there to help you with your load, But do I really have to clean the commode, To make you feel my love

July 29 Mistakes, oh yeah, I guess I've made a few, I'm sure that comes as no surprise to you, From now on my mistake-making days are through, To make you feel my love

July 28 Other guys could give you big diamond rings, Fancy cars, candy bars, spicy onion strings, Just remember, babe, I'm the only guy who sings, To make you feel my love

July 27 Day is done and my dear you're drained, All you desire is to be entertained, Good thing you have me very well trained, To make you feel my love

July 26 If I was one of the Food Network stars, I'd cook cuisine that's fit for kings and czars, I'd even make you seven-layer bars, To make you feel my love

July 25 If your mother falls and cracks her head, And you have to stay with her instead, I'll bring you pesto and some crusty bread, To make you feel my love

July 24 I never ever want to see you frown, So if our dinner menus have you down, I'll learn to cook like food dude Alton Brown, To make you feel my love

July 23 You're at Adventureland with your girlfriend Amanda, And I see you looking hot out on the veranda, I'd totally let you win a giant-ass panda, To make you feel my love

July 22 I drank the sludge and it cleaned out my gut, Good thing we've got a toilet paper glut, Next I'll let the doctor take a peek up my butt, To make you feel my love

July 21 Lady Gaga puts on quite a show, But Guster's in Madison so we should go, I'll do the driving and shell out the dough, To make you feel my love

July 20 Now that you've got your Lady Gaga dress, I shall address you as "Your Loveliness," And make you chicken like at Panda Express, To make you feel my love

Dylanesque Declarations, verses 300-322

July 19 When your need for thrills is so acute, We'll zip to the mall with cops in hot pursuit, So I can buy you another Lady Gaga suit, To make you feel my love

July 18 You ask me if I lost my shoulder blade, And did I zip a hole in my brigade, Maybe it's time I get a hearing aid, To make you feel my love

July 17 You needn't worry when my mom comes to town, I will lay claim to the housecleaning crown, I'll even take out the lightbulbs and scrub them down, To make you feel my love

July 16 The Faux Fab Four were some mighty fine blokes, They played like Beatles and they told some good jokes, Now to the midway for a couple of deep fried Cokes, To make you feel my love

July 15 Your sweet love keeps my boat afloat, You know "Our Love," that song Rhett Miller wrote, I'll learn the guitar solo note for note, To make you feel my love

July 14 I love you like Junior loved his NASCAR trike, On a stormy Wednesday I'll do whatever you like, I'll pop some popcorn and we'll all watch "Psych," To make you feel my love

July 13 There are some mornings when I might be gruff, And putting up with me is kind of tough Those are the days a verse is not enough, To make you feel my love

July 12 My bulgy belly is just too much too take, So I'll take drastic measures for your sake, Starting tomorrow I will eat no more cake, To make you feel my love

July 11 You always fill my life with zest, So your health condition has me distressed, Wish I could put that pesky cough to rest, To make you feel my love

July 10 Annie, I think you'll find that 14 is great, Wish your birthday didn't fall on the 'Dogs show date, I promise I'll sing "Annie" when I sing "The Weight," To make you feel my love

July 9 The drink will flow and the blood will spill, When me and the boys are back in Barre Mills, I'll rock so hard I'm gonna give you the chills, To make you feel my love

July 8 When you're sad, feeling shot down in flames 'Cause you miss minor league basketball games, I'll bring back the Catbirds for you, with Lebron James, To make you feel my love

July 7 My week of freedom is almost done, It's back to the grind and goodbye to fun, Seems like I had only just begun, To make you feel my love

July 6 I fear your fear for my health is great, So for you I will not hesitate, I'll make a colonoscopy date, To make you feel my love

July 5 I'll bring you trinkets from Mozambique, Shout your name from the highest peak, And make you schmorkel at least once a week, To make you feel my love

July 4 You love makes me feel oh so blessed, For you, my love, nothing will do but the best, I'll sing you "Brown-Eyed Girl" at the fest, To make you feel my love

July 3 I'll rub your feet while I sing a love ballad, Honor your coupons though they might be invalid, And I'll whip you up a delicious bok choy salad, To make you feel my love

July 2 We could swim with the snow monkeys, just you and me, Or do some cliff diving right into the sea, Or we could drink some Dos Equus and watch HGTV, To make you feel my love

July 1 I'll save you from crashes, pluck you from the flood, I'll take out wolves with a sickening thud, And I'll do my best not to drink your blood, To make you feel my love

June 30 The county fair is coming up quick, Tilt-a-Whirl, bumper cars, you can take your pick, I'll even buy you dinner on a stick, To make you feel my love

June 29 If not for you I couldn't find the door, I can't find half the things I'm looking for, But maybe I can find something to stop my snore, To make you feel my love

June 28 Every day I sing the same old song, Three-hundred verses and still going strong, Time to call Chuck Barris and have him bang my gong, To make you feel my love

June 27 It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, Don't think twice, you know we always get by, Long as I bring you home some French silk pie, To make you feel my love