The waves in the ocean trough and swell... The songs of my heart do as well... There's times I'm feeling two doun to speak... And times I'm feeling at my peak... Today is one of those days... Just like yesterday... And the thousands of days before... I slam then reopen the door... I may slam it again later... Or just close it lightly... And see if anything has changed when I reopen it... Weerd? Whats so weeerrd about being myself... Because it makes others see themselves... Or because I suck so badly that people can barely listen to my heart? I loves me... I loves me antinot... I loves me... I loves me unknot... I loves me... I love me antidisunknot... You fool some of the self some of the time... And you can fool all of the self all of the time... But you can't unfool all of the antiself all of the time. Just sometimes. Wait ... Scratch that... I'll have the veggie burger deluxe... As long as it's not slimy or microwaved and has a cooked edge on it... That comes with fries... May I have those fries crispy please... Yes... hot sauce... and can I get a side of Tzatzikizulu Discombobulous Repente'. No that's it... Oh and a water for my lemon. Thankyou.
If you downloaded the original ...cool. For me it was just too sloppy. I sincerely try to leave the original sketchiness to everything to retain realness.. but this was just over the top sloppy... so here's the new guitar bedtrack...which is a million times cleaner, (still with that disgusting spanky out of phase honk) and the rest is left super raw and sketchy for that originalnessishness stuff I mentioned. ;) Way better though. Now I'm proud of it again.
when I was young... this photographer had a little toy bird he was wiggling at me and saying..try to grab it.... I snatched it out of his hand ..it was then he explained that a contrived action was somehow better for that particular shot, than actually grabbing the bird... I was only 6 or so... and I looked at that picture for years always staring at my fist..and wondering if other people would look at that and say "what the hell is he doing with that hand?" The picture might have looked cooler with me getting the toy.. :)
" Even if it may not... seem like alot... " Originally had words, but I liked it plain and nuwave sounding. I was very shy to put this one up.... I recorded it in 2006 and added some drums and compression to it today on a different unit. It was recorded on an old Fostex. I kept thinking not to ditch some other old closet recordings, because of this one, and some others with drumbeat tracks, that I may "remess" with at some point. There are some magic aspects to this composition. Its hard to recapture moments, with a million takes- sometimes the original garage-sketch is the best ... even if you play better now. The bass is one of my favorite bass tracks Ive ever done. Not the best... just my favorite. I also love the "schlanggg" guitar licks and the "whumpa" feel to this jam. It all started with tremolo, and some beautiful chords I found while wandering. The other colors added themselves from there. I added some drums, but it wasnt easy playing real drums with push button drumtracks, and the odd quantization, and cadence of the off time fills. But with some smashing and blending...its passable. ;) I just couldnt wait any longer to share it !!! I just dont yet have technology to match alot of modern stuff... but Ive been told that makes my sound special. Beacuse I dont seek older and limited gear out of purism, but out of lack of funds, and recording knowledge. :p Some days I listen to my stuff like Im hearing it for the first time, and think I dont do too bad. My ears are getting better...no thats not it.... more interesting. This stuff and others I may "uncloset", from as far back as the 90s when this song was born, were recorded with direct inputs, and 2, and sometimes even 1 cheap vocal mic.
This song was written at the same time as Raygunheart and Vitrol. (the bed riff of the song was from when I was very young, but the song itself finally was born lyricly in 2011- one day the lick just popped back into my head..and I said "Oh yea.. I used to pick that all the time !" ) The three songs all have that same "period" vibe while being very different. It was so strange the way I wrote them... they all were encouraged by, and given topic by a few night dreams I had. I am " Raygunheart " ...in the dream. I fire arrows into " Vitrol " (the steel Dragon)... and am many people as one in " Deep Blue Sea " , and continue to look for my soul, and purpose, while stretching "sanity", as I've always known it to be, by "allowing" these dreams to be one with wakinglife. It took me awhile to put these 3 together enough to "share" them with other ears... I thought they were strange and new to me.. ..and although still very new to me, I now see how brightly (brightly meaning-not completely-as I am still subject to finding more) they reflect my inner "sound". I would like to fix them (and all my work) up someday and better the mixes, and quality of equipment, but for now, I feel they really do shine. I get the same butterflies I got when I first heard Joe Henry's " Jesus' Son ". This music really draws me in.... and that's hard to do, when you've recorded something that you've heard 100 times before anyone else ever hears it.... which usually leaves you with a feeling of wanting a vacation from the tunes. But there IS more here than just tunes, and I hope "YOU" will hear 'it too ! It is the begining of applying my "dreamstrengths".
First things first... I don't want to impress that I am in to 'Contemporary Christian' Music.. because I can barely hang with alot of it (and that's being polite about it). But I do want to point a very loving finger at another 'Christian' album that, for me, definately surpassed the religious spectrum and reached into realms of spirit, common humanity, and songwriting coupled with some of the most beautiful arrangements I've ever heard. For me, the album eludes Keaggy's 'guitar player' classification, and speaks the music of his utter soul, without contrivation, or focus on his technical prowess (but the playing is top notch anyhow). That's a thoughtful juggling act artisticly, when you are known as a guitar hero, and complicated riffs are expected by fans. The album is called 'Way Back Home' . Also the song (not on that album) called 'Wind in the Wheat'. Here's a link to a great version of that one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3iSiij98VY Yes... he's missing a finger, which he mentions in detail on Way Back Home. This music brings tears to my eyes, and I think Phil succeeds in being more than a musician or artist, but a conduit of "God's Love" (whatever that means to you) at times. To do that one must forsake his armour, and be very vunerable. I cannot vouch for Phil as a person, because i don't know him... but can say this album is one of the best I ever listened to.
I love this song ! I totally forgot about it, and it lie dormant for a while. But, I kept having flashes of a cool lyric this past week, and was walking around singing (alllllovitssbensolonnnng), and kept asking myself, what the heck song was that from. I knew I wrote it, and that it potentially was killer, but couldn't remember at all - Blank (huh). So I went back to find it in the recorder. When I reheard some of the other stuff I had..I remembered why I either temporarily, or permanently ;-) abandoned those tracks (lol).. but this song made my mind swirl with a vibrating enthusiasm (in my quasi-butterflies crotch-chakra region), as it all came back. I think I only temporarily abandoned this one because I wasn't sure how to mix all the tracks at the time.. and was tired from other stuff going on at the time (frustrations, inconfidences, etc.), as well as, didn't want to just slam it together, as I had with more secular garage type tracks (because I experienced alot of specificly challenging, and pivotal realizations to birth these sounds). A cool aspect of this, is that it was like hearing the song for the first time all over ! I remember hearing David Gilmour once say the same.. in that he wished he "could hear Darkside for the first time like other people could" and he was sad that he would never have that perspective oportunity "experience". I feel like I did have that chance, loosing this song and finding it again ! Thankgod I'm partly skewed (ha) ! This song has very meaningful vibes and lyrics. I see, and feel extremely strong imagery with this music and lyrics. I remember now that it inspired me to put the hand-drawn images to " Raygunheart " on Youtube. So... I had this dream (vivid as they come), and woke to write this song.. a few times that has happened, but the images of this particular dream haunt this songs lyrical content, and influenced it's ambient backround tracks, and my inward/outward efforts to face the deepness of my journey, and all the strange details. The details of the dream, and ones like it, (both waking and sleeping) although frightening, are so beautiful to me now, as I grow into myself. I realize that this song was a strong stepping stone for me. I've also recently have come to realize how important " Raygunheart " also is. I tell myself out loud... "Remember all your dreams...they are... who you are".
Went to bed... With a lick in my head... And had a dream of you... Woke and wrote a song about it... And now it's coming true. " Don't think I've been to sea "...lol hahahaha ahhh...sigh it says " Don't think I've been decieved "
This song was a concept I had many years ago. I used to meditate alone with my guitar sometimes...ok ok.. I did acid.. but stay focused... the point is... there was these two chords that I would play one at a time.. and create this whole meaning to each one.. well they actually sounded like the meaning...anyway... the first chord is now.... and the second chord is then. Now I am older, and an adult, and have advantages, and disadvanteges. Then I am a child and have advantges and disadvanteges. Now... my muscle, my money, my transportation, but the childlikeness left behind and unabashedness is now replaced with gameface, and skillset. Then... No muscle, money, car, but... close to the "one" with a deeper natural understanding...and an unabashed language of love. Both are good and bad in different ways.. and I think I am trying to refine both...slowly..verrrry slowly. last night I dreamed a cool dream. The night before I dreamed a cool dream.. and for the past few years I've dreamt cool things.. when I was very small I dreamt cool things. when I have more time I'll post some interesting dreams I've dreamted. ;)
This song was written, and recorded laying on my back on the studio floor... and feeling very down.. although the song does not feel down at all... and really energizes, and lifts the spirit. " I want to live ". I am enduring some monetary fears, and other challenges in everyday life.. and that's where this song comes from... I want to live in the dimention where this song was, and is born. I feel very high listening back to it over and over. The end of " In Time " where I say " In time, we are the winners ...dont mind if I do " always brings a tear to my eye...or moves my heart.. as does also the guitar solo in " Raygunheart " ....but this tune moves me in a very high way, from beginning to end, from all the fundamental elements, and rather than tearful...it is illuminating, and is filled with lust for life. Alot of soul went into it, as I'm hopeful you will feel.